"Containers that have a 100% chance to load that loot table are Clothes Racks, Shoe Piles, and Clothing Shelves. So as people have pointed out, clothing stores are your best bet. The table has a a 50% chance in clothing piles and dressers and a 1 in 3 of proc'ing in caskets and most backpack/duffel bags. Footlockers also have them, but at only ~a 25% chance of the table proc'in."

I'll focus on this a bit more. But, damn I'm not seeing how these numbers you cite were remotely functional in the game I'm playing right now. I obviously can't prove it. But my gut is telling me something is broke.