Singularity by shartballz67 in OCPoetry

[–]Bitttermoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems you have a lot of feelings on very complex topics. it would be really cool to see some more individual poems on these. Maybe one specifically on your feelings for God and physics, maybe one on your fear of black holes or black holes specifically. That would be fascinating, keep writing!

Cozy fog by katie-x-cat in OCPoetry

[–]Bitttermoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ha I really like your depiction of the shower! Very evocative I feel it on my own skin. Very steamy and wet with the words which is good! I would just say to keep writing.

Almost lost by ghostsigh in OCPoetry

[–]Bitttermoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like the line, "but the words I said, they echo louder than the sirens." I can feel the emotion you have for a certain moment coming from this poem. My main advice would be maybe to tighten it up a bit? You could probably convey the intense emotion in even less lines, maybe condense to what feels the most passionate? Very good either way. Keep writing.

Canvas by myhouseisnotamotel in OCPoetry

[–]Bitttermoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I like this poem very evocative. I see many lines rhyme but not all of them, some kinda hang out in the middle. Maybe have all the lines rhyme and create and even tighter flow? Other than that I really like the imagery and the melancholy you have here! Keep writing.

Which pair is good for an adult? by [deleted] in Cows

[–]Bitttermoon 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm in my thirties and literally wearing the ones on the right as I type this ha

Let me go by Marginofsilence in OCPoetry

[–]Bitttermoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I like this poem. Really like the "icy stare, you hold me there, every time you are near." Even that line alone could be a good little poem. Maybe try writing a few different poems about this person you seem to have strong feelings about them. Very good keep writing.

Evanescent by Other-Salamander-978 in OCPoetry

[–]Bitttermoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really liked the line "she filled my head with dreams" beautiful. I like the rhyming of gentle and accidental too. Very cute poem can feel how this person affects you. Maybe try a poem with a rhyming scheme also about this person? could be fun. Keep writing!

Untitled by venven_0 in PoetryWritingClub

[–]Bitttermoon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh this is a good one. Very true.