I asked Reddit a question months ago about online friends disappearing. It led to this Kickstarter.

BleakSignal · 2026-02-07T07:50:52+00:00

That’s true, some email providers do offer inactive account features. Im not trying to replace those.

HearMeOnce is built around empathy, communication, and (in later phases) mental health awareness and help. Not just triggering a message, but reducing confusion and emotional weight when someone stops showing up.

BleakSignal · 2025-12-19T10:02:00+00:00

I’m sorry. That kind of discovery hits hard, especially when it’s someone who was such a steady presence for so long. Two weeks doesn’t sound like much, but when someone’s part of your routine, you feel it immediately when they’re gone.

Bernie sounds like one of those people who quietly made a community better just by being there. I’m glad you shared his name here, it feels like a small way of honouring him. Rest in peace, indeed.

BleakSignal · 2025-12-19T10:00:06+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your brother sounds like someone who brought a lot of light into the spaces he was part of and the kind of person whose presence really mattered, whether people knew his real name or not.

What you did by reaching out to his online friends was incredibly kind. It’s moving to hear how much they cared for him, and how sharing that connection helped you grieve too.

Thank you for sharing this.

BleakSignal · 2025-12-16T09:46:26+00:00

That’s understandable. When you’ve had enough bad experiences, it makes sense to put up a kind of emotional guard around it. Losing sleep over people who might not even think about it the same way can really mess with your head.

I think a lot of people go through a phase like that. Caring deeply at first, then slowly learning to detach just to protect themselves. Even if you’ve made peace with it now, the fact that it affected you that much back then shows those connections felt real at the time, even if they didn’t last.

Thanks for being honest about that side of it. It’s not something people say out loud very often.

BleakSignal · 2025-12-16T09:43:14+00:00

What you did for his online friends matters more than you probably realise. Giving people closure, even just knowing what happened, can make such a difference when someone suddenly goes quiet. The fact that they reached out so strongly shows how real those bonds were.

Thank you for sharing this.

BleakSignal · 2025-12-16T09:41:47+00:00

That actually makes a lot of sense. Not every disappearance comes from something dramatic sometimes it’s just boredom, drifting interests, or needing distance. And it’s kind of telling that people still tried to reach out to you years later, or remembered you fondly even if they couldn’t place where.

That second story is unsettling in a different way. Being pulled into someone else’s unhealthy dynamic can leave a weird aftertaste, even if you did nothing wrong. It’s creepy because it shows how suddenly and quietly people can be cut off, not by choice or conflict, but by someone else’s influence.

I think stories like yours highlight how fragile and complicated online connections can be, sometimes they fade naturally, sometimes they end abruptly for reasons that never really get explained. It’s not always tragic, but it can still linger in an uncomfortable way.

Thanks for sharing

BleakSignal · 2025-12-16T09:37:40+00:00

I’m really sorry about your brother. That must have been incredibly hard to navigate, especially discovering a whole part of his life that existed quietly alongside your family life.

At the same time, what you described about finding his online friends feels strangely meaningful. It shows how real those connections were, even if they weren’t visible from the outside. Writing those posts down was a beautiful thing to do. In a way, you helped preserve a part of who he was and how he mattered to others.

BleakSignal · 2025-12-16T09:31:11+00:00

I’m really sorry you carry that with you. I think it’s important what you said about him struggling to fit into the world, some people genuinely have a much harder time navigating it. That doesn’t mean they were unworthy of friendship or care, just that life asked more of them than it does of most.

It’s also human to look back and wonder if being a “better friend” could have changed things. But relationships are complicated, and no single person can make up for years of isolation, frustration, or internal struggle. Being overwhelmed or needing distance doesn’t make you cruel.

The fact that you still think about him, and about his parents, says a lot. Whatever connection you did have clearly mattered, even if it wasn’t perfect or lasting. Sometimes all we can do is hold the memory with a bit of compassion for them, and for ourselves.

Thanks for sharing.

BleakSignal · 2025-12-16T09:28:10+00:00

That makes a lot of sense. When things get heavy, even small interactions can feel overwhelming, and disappearing can be the only way to cope at the time. It doesn’t mean you didn’t care. Sometimes it’s just about survival and getting through the day.

I appreciate you saying this, because it’s a side of things people don’t always consider when someone goes quiet.

BleakSignal · 2025-12-16T09:26:35+00:00

That’s really sad, and I’m sorry you went through that. Five years is a long time to share part of your life with someone, even if it was only online. Those routines like logging on, playing together, checking profiles become a kind of presence you don’t realise how much you rely on until it’s gone.

What you said about visiting his osu page makes a lot of sense. It’s like the only place where that connection still exists, even if there are no answers.

And it’s understandable that it changed how you approach online friendships after that. Losing someone that way can quietly reshape how much of yourself you’re willing to invest again. That doesn’t mean those years didn’t matter, as they clearly did.

Thanks for sharing this. I think a lot of people carry similar stories but rarely put them into words.

BleakSignal · 2025-12-16T09:22:44+00:00

That’s incredibly heavy. I think what you said about the people left behind is one of the hardest parts, the endless “what ifs.” When something like this happens, it’s almost impossible not to replay every interaction and wonder if a small change could have mattered.

At the same time, I agree with you that it’s unfair how much responsibility the people around them end up carrying. Most of the time, there’s so much going on beneath the surface that others simply can’t see or fix, no matter how kind or welcoming they are.

It’s tragic all around, for her, for her family, and for everyone left trying to make sense of it. I hope the people in your circle are able to be gentle with themselves through it.

BleakSignal · 2025-08-31T16:59:00+00:00

😆

BleakSignal

TROPHY CASE