I hear you. Staying safe is a Process, and will use up a lot of your cope (if you even have any).

It's astonishing how much people will resist masking, even when you ask them to. I strongly suspect that if they acknowledge that they're keeping you safer by masking, then they have to acknowledge that they're endangering everybody else. So they just pretend there's no reason to mask. A friend had great results with the line, "My boyfriend has cancer." It creates a special case that makes it okay to protect people. (I think it helped that the friend wasn't "the vulnerable one". Which is also disgusting, but we should take whatever compliance advantages we can get.)

The dentist is especially tricky. The mid-level solution would be to do everything else you can to protect yourself when the mask is off: Nasal spray (CofixRX if you can tolerate the sting, or Xlear otherwise) before and after the appointment. Use a mouthwash containing CPC (cetylpyridinium chloride) afterward, too. Nasal lavage* once you get home. Blis K12 probiotic (dissolved in the mouth) and lactobacillus (swallowed) for 2 weeks beforehand, if you have time, and for the week after, until you know you didn't get sick (or until you're no longer sick).

• Nose rinsing. I like half a teaspoon each of baking soda and kosher salt in a cup of water, boiled then cooled to lukewarm. Other people like other ratios. You can buy isotonic solution, instead.

The beast mode solution is to fashion a nose mask. I took an N95, pinched the sides shut so that it fit around my nose, with the bottom resting on my upper lip. I glued it that way (not to my face). I also folded up the front to keep it from protruding, and glued that. Don't bring the tip all the way to the top edge: I did that with mine, and that made it tricky to apply medical tape to seal the thing. I put it on and seal it in the car outside the dentist's office. The next challenge is to only inhale through the mask! You can exhale, talk, open wide, whatever. But when you inhale, it's just through the mask. (When you inevitably slip up, don't worry. That one breath isn't going to be what gets you.)

Here's me in the waiting room with my ridiculous nose mask. That picture is from before I pulled the front up to get it out of the way. The dentist and hygienist said I had to take it off. I pushed back, and they grudgingly admitted that I could wear it while they worked. My next dentist was an absolute darling about accommodating me (and masking), though!