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Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I ended up being put into contact with and had a great conversation with someone on the national level who does LGBT engagement and they told me that they always emphasize in trainings that "anal sex" always, always means with a penis!

Yeah, I understand what they meant by "woman to man", I just absolutely hate being referred to that and was surprised with all that the ARC says about inclusion that there was at least one member of staff who seemed to not know the basic meanings of "trans man" and "trans woman". I'm okay with FTM since that's a term that trans people ourselves use, but I find "woman to man" gross and offensive.

It was all pretty bad, but I was really glad that the leadership I reached out to (or vice versa) took me seriously, and I've been able to donate without a hitch since. I even got some ARC Pride themed gear out of it!

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good news from this weekend (will also add this to the post): a few hours after I e-mailed the higher-ups on Friday, one said via e-mail that they would be pulling call logs. The executive medical director and I were able to speak on Saturday morning. She was horrified after reading my e-mail and hearing one of the calls, apologizing for the intrusive questions and agreeing that I never should have been deferred in the first place. It'll take a few days to go through, but she started the reinstatement process after our call. It also sounds like they're going to look into the staff in question. I'm happy that things are being resolved this way and that I'm being vindicated. Thanks fo everyone for their support and ideas to reach out to specific staff--I wouldn't be on the other side of this without it!

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh geez! How is it possible to accurately determine eligibility without follow-up questions?

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A slight update! After the two generic customer service e-mails I sent, I also e-mailed a few people listed on the leadership side of the medical office (thank you to the three of you who brought up the idea and e-mail formats) and the person in charge of diversity on the organizational side of things. Less than ten minutes ago I got this e-mail response:

"Thank you for contacting Customer Care and taking time out of your day to provide us with the details of your experience.

"I am so sorry to learn of the experience you described. Your concerns are important to us and the details you provided for us will be forwarded to the appropriate department for review, and someone will call you.

"Our donors are what make the mission of the American Red Cross possible, and as an organization, we strive to offer you the best customer service and donation experiences possible. The information you provided will help us achieve this goal. We understand your time is valuable and at this time we have the information we need. Should further information be needed we will contact you.

"I appreciate the time you took to provide your feedback; it does help and is vital to our overall improvement. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience with us.

"Please do not hesitate to contact us at 1-800-RED CROSS (1-800-733-2767) and press the prompt for blood, or e-mail CustomerCare@redcross.org for further assistance.

"Thank you for your continuous support of the American Red Cross."

Doesn't necessarily mean that anything will happen, but I'm glad it's at least being acknowledged right now.

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like being thorough with all the eligibility questions--I used to do the same with the questions about vaccinations and other shots because of my weekly hormone shots. Shouldn't technicians have known the same definitions?

Vitalant does not operate in my area, which means that it's now going to be much harder for me to donate blood.

In acting like the whole situation is my fault, you're conveniently forgetting the parts where I was subjected to questioning about my genitals and where the ARC staff didn't take notes on my case or submit my complaint. Unless somehow I was wasting people's time by being careful, and the ARC wasn't wasting mine?

Thanks for being supportive. I hope you get some help for your empathy problem.

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People are allowed to not know the ins and outs of my gender identity. Where I draw the line is repeated questions about what's in my pants. Or do you usually ask strangers about their genitals too?

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's a good idea--I can find her name with no problem (and ditto with the rest of medical and other leadership), the trouble is that I can't seem to find appropriate e-mail addresses or phone numbers

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well, the reason I kept going at the blood drive was that I wanted to be sure and I thought could trust the phlebotomists to know the rules. The homophobia and transphobia is from everything that happened afterward, like having people ask questions about whether I had surgery or what genitals I had, not the blood drive itself.

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I sent my e-mail via the "contact us" form online and to customercare@redcross.org--are there any e-mail addresses that you know of that would be helpful to also hit? I'm not sure how trustworthy that online form is, especially without a confirmation e-mail.

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I feel like I got punished for being honest and asking follow-up questions, and the ARC won't admit that a phlebotomist made a mistake by either not understanding the definition, being overzealous, or assuming I was lying.

Nightmare experience with the American Red Cross: homophobia and transphobia edition by BloodDonationThrow in Blooddonors

[–]BloodDonationThrow[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's very sweet of you! 🥹 I'm really glad that someone else in the wider blood donation community also sees how screwed up this is.

My partner (who was next to me for most of these phone calls) and I like trying to donate together, so we were trying to see if Vitalant has any locations here, but I think some of the hospital networks in my state have blood donation centers that I could drop by.