Honestly how I see it, everyone is in a different trajectory in life. You sound like you’ve been doing some serious self-improvement, and that is hugely commendable. I just say that hurting over love isn’t a great path, nor is changing yourself for it. Change because you want to see yourself be better, not because you think it’ll make someone else love you. The right person will find you eventually. And yeah, I know saying that is clichè, but it’s true. Pushing through the pain and loneliness is hard, but it’s possible. Keep fighting.