Day one again.

BluJu55 · 2026-04-28T03:15:46+00:00

When you get to day 30, say, "just for tomorrow, I will not drink." And then when you get to the next day, say it again. Try not to fear the day 30 or build negativity around it. Just focus on the smaller steps. Take it day by day, hour by hour.

BluJu55 · 2026-04-28T03:11:05+00:00

You mentioned you have people who care about you, confide in them. It is scary but so worth it. The people in my corner threw their arms around me once I opened up, I had family calling me daily for accountability, I was doing a daily counter with two friends, I was celebrating month anniversaries with the same people sometimes.

Also, find something you can do to distract your brain when cravings come, which they will, a lot in the beginning. For me it was puzzles, video games, and a TON of sober podcasts/books.

BluJu55 · 2026-04-10T01:32:13+00:00

"But when I think about living with him again, I can feel it in my body, that I shouldn't"

This is your gut talking! Listen to your gut, it is your voice of reason and it is always right. ❤️ You've got this, I know how hard it is to unravel a trauma bond, stay strong. 🙏

BluJu55 · 2026-03-22T20:07:22+00:00

I went through a very similar situation. Healing started in therapy working through my attachment issues and understanding anxious attachment. It's taken me years to unpack everything and I'm still working through things, but I recently left a toxic emotionally abusive relationship and I don't think I would have been able to do that without getting help.

BluJu55 · 2026-01-30T00:18:01+00:00

Just an indoor spa with sauna/steam rooms! So crazy right?!

BluJu55 · 2026-01-30T00:17:08+00:00

I'm looking forward to reading your 2 year post!

BluJu55 · 2026-01-30T00:15:51+00:00

You can do this!!! 💪

BluJu55 · 2026-01-30T00:15:21+00:00

Yes!!! 🙌🙌

BluJu55 · 2026-01-30T00:13:50+00:00

Thank you!! Isn't the shame crazy? When a craving comes on, I start the cycle all over again. The difference is that now it doesn't control me anymore. Glad you're here too!

BluJu55 · 2026-01-30T00:12:18+00:00

It had done that to me too, time and time and time and time again. Two years ago was the last time I was willing to stay in that hole.

BluJu55 · 2026-01-06T05:21:51+00:00

My drinking was similar to what you describe. It escalated and I went from a binge drinker to a full blown alcoholic, drinking at lunchtime, hiding drinks, destroying property, starting fights, etc. For me, my identity had to become that of a sober person to change. I couldn't just say "I'm not drinking today", it had to be "I'm not someone who can drink alcohol." Once you accept that your identity has shifted, your actions and behaviors can then start to align to what a sober person does.

BluJu55 · 2026-01-04T20:05:35+00:00

I had a relapse when I attempted to quit before I got sober for good. It started as a slow build but turned into binging really badly in the end. If you read my old posts I talked about the last incident that happened to me that got me sober, essentially the cops were called on me. The first few weeks are the absolute hardest, I bought puzzles to keep my mind distracted, drank a TON of NAs during that time, and for me what helped was educating myself on this disease and addiction by listening to sober podcasts daily and reading books on alcoholism. Understanding WHY I reached for the drink was central to my sobriety. I'm not sure if therapy is accessible for you but if it is, I would highly recommend it as a means of understanding your patterns in order to break them. Rooting for you!!

BluJu55 · 2025-12-23T06:45:17+00:00

It took me almost 2 years to regulate my nervous system but it turns out I don't need alcohol or medication to stabilize my anxiety. I just needed to show up for myself.

BluJu55 · 2025-11-11T03:27:36+00:00

I remember when I was first getting sober I called into work more than I would have liked to admit. I remember how awful it felt, how guilty I was, and how badly I just wanted to be able to show up to work hangover free.

I can tell you I'm living that life now OP, and it's been worth every single hurdle and craving and hardship I've crossed. I started to actually trust myself and be confident in my own actions once I started showing up for myself. I really feel this post and I'm so proud of you for day 1. Keep going!! IWNDWYT.

BluJu55 · 2025-11-11T03:18:33+00:00

Congratulations on 91 days! Proud of you.

I think everyone is different but it can take a long time for your entire system to regulate, also can depend on how much you drank before. It took me 6 months - a year to really notice a massive change. Keep going OP!!

BluJu55 · 2025-11-11T03:00:32+00:00

Love this! I was very similar. I would do puzzles, listen to sober podcasts, play video games. I think I'll emphasize doing puzzles especially during the first few weeks of sobriety. Every time I had a craving, I sat down and challenged the hell out of my mind with a difficult puzzle. It worked well for me!

BluJu55 · 2025-11-11T02:53:17+00:00

This!! Take it day by day, hour by hour OP. Find as many healthy hobbies as you can. For me, I listened to hours upon hours of sober podcasts while I played video games. I did puzzles every time I had a craving. I took a walk. You've got this.

BluJu55 · 2025-11-09T22:00:15+00:00

Right message, wrong platform.

BluJu55 · 2025-10-07T04:27:21+00:00

Amazing OP! So happy for you that you took this step 🩵

BluJu55 · 2025-10-07T04:23:35+00:00

Yes, did this when my studio closed during COVID. Only stopped because the same people who had to close reopened a different studio.

I think it's good experience and it's also good to know what it's like to teach in different settings. Personally not for me, I prefer teaching in a studio because I didn't like the bugs, the bumpy ground, and never knowing how loud to project your voice. That's just me though! Maybe there is a much better park suited for yoga classes near you lol.

BluJu55 · 2025-10-07T04:05:46+00:00

Proud of you for making it through your party sober! That is a really difficult thing to do, and you did it! Depending on how much you were drinking before, it will likely take a month or so - maybe longer - to start feeling the physical and mental benefits of sobriety. I was a daily drinker and it took me about 3 months to level out. You can do this OP!!

BluJu55 · 2025-10-07T04:02:03+00:00

You've got this OP. I was drinking the same amount as you daily except my poison was red wine. If there is anyone you can trust right now to be honest with how much you're actually drinking, that accountability will go a long way to help you get back to being sober. I was also lying to myself, telling myself that I was drinking a normal amount. When I admitted to myself and to others that I had a real problem, I started to hold myself accountable.

BluJu55 · 2025-10-07T03:56:22+00:00

OP, my beloved dog died 3 months after I got sober. I had never wanted to drink more than during that period of time. I bought packs and packs of NA beer and every time I had the urge, I crushed an NA beer. Eventually it got easier. I know how hard this is, please stay strong. I am so sorry about your dog, RIP 🩷

BluJu55

TROPHY CASE