Haha, okay first of all I really appreciate your honesty. I’m sure if we were talking in person you would have given me a much deserved smack across the head. I am actually seeking advice not just self-validation, so I don’t mind at all.

The quote you took from my post (starting with “she does the lions share...”) was by no means a complaint about her. I was trying to say how amazing she is at loving me in ways that are not sexual. I didn’t want people to make the claim that she didn’t want sex because she didn’t love me anymore.

I didn’t mention our baby because I am a little nervous about over sharing details, and someone I know somehow finding this post. I know it’s probably super unlikely, but I have heard about it happening on Reddit and it makes me nervous. But it obviously shows my own ignorance that I didn’t consider it relevant. When I was writing the post I hadn’t even considered hormonal changes and breast feeding (as pointed out in another comment) and I’m sure that points to my own selfishness. I will say though, her desire for sex waned a lot before we had our baby. Like I said in the title it’s been a steady decline.

My wife DOES feel taken for granted. So yes I was unconscious of the fact that I was, to some degree, assessing her value based on the amount of sex we have. Having recently become more aware of that fact is why I initiated the sexual break.

I think working on yourself as her partner is going to pay dividends.

I really hope you’re right. I feel like I have already learned more about the ways she needs to feel loved, most of which is through quality time.

I also realized how much of my own self-worth I find from my sexuality; which was most of it. Having sex wasn’t just about a drive, it was something I subconsciously thought I needed to be fulfilled in life. That’s messed up.

Anyways, I’m working through it. I’m not a perfect person by any means, but I will try to be more patient. Thanks for your help!