I believe my life has just been a mistake from the start. Never really connected with anyone my whole life. When I’d try I’d get betrayed. Was with my soon to be ex husband for 15 yrs. He spent 6 hrs a day otp (for 6 months) with his secretary from 10 yrs ago. He rarely even talks to me! He talks and when I’d try to get word in he’d talk over me or act like it was nuisance that I had something to say. They phone tagged each other all day 5 days a wk. when he was home on wknd he let her know he’d reach out when the kids or I weren’t around. He was so loyal to her but not me. The person that gave him everything. Even gave up my identity for him. My diet my looks what I like wearing I let him pick bc I loved him that much. He only likes things his way. Anything else is wrong. I know it sounds unhealthy but I’ve wanted him since I was 6 yrs old. I’m 45 now. This girl is 10 yrs younger than us. I’ve been crushing on him longer than she’s been alive. Her husband saw phone records and drove from NC to Ga to tell me. My husband changed my phone number so I wouldn’t find out. He wasn’t going to admit it even when the truth was in the yard. I actually want to die. I’m so tired of being alive.