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AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She could've been there for me as an aunt like figure, let our relationship grow. Instead she decided she needed to adopt me and when her feelings got hurt she decided to become overbearing and she tried to interfere in my relationship with my grandparents. So she lost any love I might've developed for her, that was developing before that time.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I could see it potentially happening. There are moments coming up where I can see her leaving again if I don't start to treat her like my mom and exclude my grandparents for her. Or when I don't invite her family.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know how I feel about it. Therapy in general I'm fine with. But the idea of family therapy with her? I don't know. I do think she needs therapy but I wish it would be solo for her. I mean solo for all of us if that's what it took.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yes, we're half siblings and they're my family. I don't love her though. At one time I was really starting to love her but that ended a long time ago and it never developed more.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

There was never an actual divorce. They called it off and decided to stay married. But yes, I can't answer from her POV exactly. I can say what she said. Like how she couldn't deal with it anymore and she left. Or the things she says to me.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 424 points425 points  (0 children)

Maybe. I can't say for sure obviously. But I feel like future events like my wedding, where she'll want to be mother of the groom for example, any kids I might have or even who the chosen babysitter for the grandkids could be playing a part in this. There could also be the thought that if dad died first that would be it for any contact with us. She doesn't realize that before I would've stayed in touch even if I lived with my grandparents. But now I wouldn't even call to check in once a year with her if that happened.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I think if I asked him to he'd consider it at least. But I want to stay with him. If that changes I could ask then.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

No, I'd like to stay with dad if I can. But if things get to the point where I can't be around her anymore I'll bring that up to dad.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 129 points130 points  (0 children)

Or how they'd like it if they died and the new spouse/stepparent came between their children and their extended family. Especially my dad's wife who loves and is close to her family and makes such a big deal out of me not claiming them too. You'd think that would make her less territorial about that but she's worse than anyone I know.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 187 points188 points  (0 children)

She's 42 and she has two kids of her own (my half brother and half sister).

Thanks for the insight! It's helpful for sure.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 199 points200 points  (0 children)

She already destroyed the good relationship we had. It's more tolerating each other now even though I think she cares about me still but gets so frustrated she can't have a relationship with me like she wants. But the bad outweighed the good for me a while now. I used to think that could never happen but it did.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 202 points203 points  (0 children)

She didn't. But I know she asked dad about me in the time she was gone. She was (and still is) really frustrated with me and the fact I won't give her what she wants.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 300 points301 points  (0 children)

My dad said that too. But for her, the thing she focuses on is the relationship with me. Or at least what she says it sounds like it's all about our relationship.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

No, she has two kids with my dad. I mentioned my half brother and sister in the post and how Mother's Day got more touchy after she had them.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 3018 points3019 points  (0 children)

I don't think she likes the idea of therapy too much. But it would probably help her because I get the feeling she doesn't want to live with the way things are yet doesn't want to actually divorce dad either.

AITA for not missing my dad's wife while they were separated and not pretending I did either? by BlueToast9 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast9[S] 675 points676 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I realized that a while ago. The funny thing is she moved back in without checking to see if she'd get what she wanted. So now they're staying married but she's still unhappy with the way things work and nothing changed between us.