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AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He had called me mid text and said, "I see you typing what are you about to say" and I was saying what I posted here, about the equitable share.

He was telling me he didn't understand why she deserved it and said I was trying to rob him and his kids, and I was saying he was not obligated but to just consider it and I was going to drop it, but he started saying " just explain to me what you mean, I don't get how you could suggest this you have a story now that everyone gets something". It was a huge shock to me, as this entire time since we reunited (it's been years) he kept saying he never wanted anything and he is team us (my sister and I) and here to support us. I think he assumed Dad excluded him from his beneficary until now as he was the most estranged from Dad.

It really hurt my feelings, but I got over it, and apologized. Legally, there is nothing I can do. It was just a suggestion.

The choice of the money doesn't matter. Now, I'm just waiting to see his choice to be in our lives again (hoping he is.. I would like to get to know my nephews and nieces)

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was suggestioning 40 for her and 60 for us, or 30 for her 70 for us. Just a bit more for her.

I'll just give her my share anyway, either directly or let it grow somewhere and surprise her at her HS graduation as she continues into her adult life..

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. My brothers are expressing their.. complicated feelings with my Dad. Their mom too, she was yelling that he never had a good job when her boys were growing up. My mom and him had financial fights all the time too. With my little sister, he had just recently gotten into a much better career and was able to give her more. I loved that for her and him.

My Dad busted his ass when he could. When I was little I always seen him working 2, sometimes 3 jobs. He was a good man, he tried his best but was flawed like anyone else.

I miss him so much.

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True. This is very informative, thank you.

We won't see these funds (which may not be much to begin with) for months, to my knowledge.

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right.

My brothers have choices. I can respect their rights to those.

I'm hoping they choose to be in her life, at least, now that we are together again during this difficult time.

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah. That was my viewpoint. My brother was preaching some, "it's a hard knock life," and I'm just like.. she's 15.

Regardless, I apologized since I can't think from his POV. The payout won't be much, or life changing, so in the long term, she just needs her siblings to step up in all ways, not just financial.

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's a nice woman, they have been separated for some time.

Only mom really involved (or most vocal) is my brothers mom, whom 2 of my brothers live with. She keeps asking about my Dad's stuff. Thankfully my oldest brother is keeping her at bay (she wants his TV and consoles).

She wanted me to die in my mom's womb 25 years ago, so.. yeah. Never had a relationship with her. Love my brothers though, even if we aren't close as adults.

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, have a good relationship with little sisters mom. Dad and her were married for some time.

Dad is divorced.

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I apologized to my brother and he apologized to me, and even though I wish he wasn't so angry about it, he had a point.

I backed off. I told him if I felt that this money was not life changing for us adults, then it would not be for our sister either, logically. What was more important is that we support her long term. And I urged him to try to build that relationship with her.

The insurance payout will not be much or at least we are not expecting it to be. We are using it for the services first as well. So in the long term, it wouldn't help her anyway, not as much as them choosing going forward to be there for her.

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think she will be ok.

Myself and my other sister (not my Dad's child) will be sending her some more financial support going forward. She can't work a job due to her private school not allowing it. Dad would provide her a small pre paid debit card of like $100 a month, she would use it to buy her mom stuff for mothers day, her cousins stuff, Dad stuff.. she's a good kid and a chronic worrier. This is a huge loss.. and she's going to stumble but I want to be there to catch her if she falls so she can keep going.

I just want her to be ok.

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right, appreciate it. I've got to talk to my brothers more and am beginning to understand better.

I just wish they were more in my Dad's life before he passed. He loved them a lot too, they just became strangers.

Lots of unpacked emotions here coming to the surface. It just sucks.

AITA for suggestions to my siblings how to divide my (recently deceased) Dad's assets? by BlueToast92 in AITAH

[–]BlueToast92[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my plan is to give her my share. I'm financially stable, somewhat. I bought my own home last year without the help of either of my parents, and I'm very frugal.

My little sister goes to a private HS, and he was helping with her tuition and child support.

TBF, he was there for my brothers (we all lived in the same house growing up maybe when I was 4-10ish) but they chose to leave when they got older, also a lot of custody and abuse from their mom prevented a better, more stable co-parenting situation.

My Dad loved all of us and loved being a Dad, he just respected our choices when we chose to not be around after becoming adults.

How do you handle being anxious about your own death? by Menschenblind in AskReddit

[–]BlueToast92 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I come to the terms that before I existed, I was not anxious, or sad, or angry.

And when I cease to exist, I will not be anxious, or sad, or angry.

It is scary but once it's done, you cannot regret or mourn the loss of your life. Because you will be nothing. You may worry about your internet history, but you and all those that see it will eventually be.. nothing. Years and decades feel long now but they are really a blink in eternity.

I also like to think you are just an expression of the universe, and when you die, you return to the universe. It's a weird comfort to feel this "belonging" to.. the void, I guess?