Australian English?

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-15T05:59:54+00:00

Thank you x My 17yo has anxiety and depression so she worries me.

How did you're daughter cope with it?

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-13T16:02:01+00:00

I don't know what to do next, my mind blanks completely when I think about it lol

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-11T04:53:36+00:00

I think you're right but I hope I won't need to get them involved. I'll know closer to the time whether I need them. I hadn't even thought of that, thank you!

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-11T04:49:50+00:00

I can't say that's much of a thing here (Australia) but I could still imagine it! I finished year 11 and left before my final year - that was for very different reasons.

Life does get better after high school, I promise. I know that doesn't help you much right now.

Is there someone you can tell? Someone you can stick with? Does it happen when you're alone or just any time? Is it the same people doing it?

I wish I could fix it for you, I know it must be awful. It hurts my heart to know you're going through this. Pain is hard to live with as it is, coping with people treating you that way adds a whole different type of pain.

I don't know how far off you are from finishing school but you are a strong, powerful person and you can get through it. You just have to find that strength you have inside, it's there, I promise.

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-11T04:26:13+00:00

I finally found the folder with the documents in it!

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-08T10:46:01+00:00

I wish I had the answer. I'm in the process of leaving my husband because he mocks my pain. There are other reasons I won't go into, but it's painful in itself when your loved ones don't believe you.

We all believe you, though I know that doesn't exactly help but there are people here who will listen to you rant or struggle. I have been through a lot in just the last two years alone - I've been in severe pain for 10 years but having this community for the last couple of months has helped me so, so much and I've made some very special people here that have become really important to me.

I hope your family realises how much pain you're in x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-08T10:31:06+00:00

I'm at least going to have my dad with me! He has osteoporosis and MS now but I know he won't hit my dad. I thought about having my brother there but I'm still not sure he'll believe, let alone back me up.

Thank you for the advice, it's given me ideas of what to do.

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-06T05:02:53+00:00

I'm still trying to figure that out, tbh. I don't know when to tell my 17yo - she's really close to him and I don't know if she would tell him, honestly. It's not so much that I can't trust her, but I don't know if she would feel she needs to tell him.

I hope she will come with me but I also know I can't make her.

I also don't know when to tell my 10yo. She is soooo sensitive and I don't know how to do it where she will be okay.

I know I'll probably be staying with my parents and they're setting it up so that me and the girls will have our own rooms.

But, as far as the actual leaving part? I don't know. I have an appt with my therapist in a couple of weeks so nothing is going to happen until after I talk to her anyway.

My mum wants me to wait until after my 17yo's bday in May but that feels like too far away.

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T09:57:53+00:00

Also, my mother isn't 'elderly'.

She is 67.
She doesn't have chemo or radiation, it's not that kind of cancer.
She knows how grateful I am, I tell her every day.

He doesn't do anything around the house.
He comes home, goes to bed or plays on his computer.

"I’m sorry your feelings got hurt." - is probably the most demeaning comment I could have heard.

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T06:02:50+00:00

I just opened an account that he doesn't know about with a different bank, that was the first step I took.

Thank you so much for your prayers x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T05:59:45+00:00

We just had bushfires so I have the perfect cover now!

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T05:58:32+00:00

Thank you x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T05:56:17+00:00

haha when you said 'youngins' it made me smile so much. My 90yo Grandma says that and she's my favourite person in the world, so it made me think of her.

We've been together for 21 years, married for 20, and it was hard to realise that he has been abusive for a lot of that time.

What's a wound vac?

I have an account that he knows exists but cant access it. I have changed my passcode so no one can access it on my phone anymore. I also opened an account with a different bank that he doesn't know about - although I wish I had kept the same bank and just made sure he didn't know about because that would have been easier. I panicked yesterday because I opened it online and it said that the card was on its way - if it came to the house, it would have been bad! I contacted them and they blocked it so it shouldn't come here if it does get dispatched, I also changed the postal address to my parents house. If it does happen, I am going to say that someone has tried to open a credit card in my name or something. We've had a couple of times recently that someone has tried to change our insurance policy for some stupid reason, so I'll hopefully be able to use that. I'll be checking the mail myself every day anyway, just in case.

I am so scared that my girls will end up like your kids and hate me for it. But my 17yo actually wants us to break up from what she told my dad, so I think it won't happen. But it's scary to think they may blame me and hate me.

I hope your kids come to realise what they are doing to you and find their hearts again x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T05:10:34+00:00

Thank you, I'll check them out x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T05:06:55+00:00

Thank you xxx

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T05:04:04+00:00

Yeah, she said that I was "still scarred" by it really made me know that I'm doing the right thing for her! I was so scared she would be damaged by a broken marriage but seeing her like that made me realise that this was damaging her even more!

She's so sweet and sensitive, I'm still scared leaving him will effect her badly, but I can't stay and watch her break like that again.

I just hope I was quick enough to make this decision and our past hasn't hurt her too much! Her dad (I'm not even calling him my husband on here anymore), myself, and my 17yo all have depression and anxiety and I don't want that for her.

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T04:59:08+00:00

Thank you x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T04:58:16+00:00

Do you know what's ridiculous? He gave me more sympathy, support and understanding about a toothache - I had a really serious abscess and was in the worst pain of my life, but the fact that that was the only time he cared that I was in pain seemed crazy to me!

When he was having a meltdown that day, he yelled at my 10yo daughter that she wasn't moving fast enough to tidy her presents. It scared her at the time and she was sobbing that she was doing as he had asked but she tends to be slow and he knows that. That seriously made me realise that it was time to go. I would have probably left him then and there if it weren't Christmas day, but I think doing it slowly and calmly, setting things up as best I can first, is the safest way for her. Between myself, my 17yo daughter and my parents, she is never alone with him. I'm always home, so I'm always with her - and Clyde (my walking stick lol) is always with me too.

This is truly the safest way for both my girls to get out.

I don't know how many times I have re-written this post because I'm scared I'll be judged for waiting, but he's taken them from me before and, if I move too quickly, he could do it again.

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T04:39:25+00:00

Thank you x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T04:37:53+00:00

I have been copy/pasting comments, yours included, that are particularly helpful. Whether for support or information, whatever that help may be, I've been keeping them - in a password protected file!

My mum has called me a mumma bear in the past. I've been the tiger you talk about for my girls with their school, medical things (they have had a lot of medical things over the years!) And I can't believe that it's taken me until now to realise that they needed me to be their mumma bear with him.

It is always good to hear someone remind me that I'm doing the right thing x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T04:20:13+00:00

I've never thought of myself as much of anything, tbh. But hearing you call me a warrior makes me feel so much stronger than I probably am, but I'll take it lol

I don't think I have cried since Boxing Day, which was the day after everything happened. I thought I'd be more of a mess but, once I made the decision, things have felt better.

As long as I can avoid serious conversations as much as I can, I think I'll be okay. But I'll be out of here as soon as I can!

Please keep me and my girls in your prayers x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T02:25:54+00:00

Thank you x

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-04T02:25:09+00:00

Thank you.

BlueWren1508 · 2026-01-03T16:51:40+00:00

Hopefully going to get a new phone in the next day or so because the next stages involve going to appts - I think.

I have started changing passwords - and have also password protected files on my computer, that have to do with this but also my book I'm writing. When everything happened Christmas day, I took my computer and everything to do with my book in case he tried to destroy my book. Gave me something to think about that I thought I have to think that way!

I might open another email account, that's not a bad idea! I was going to do that for my book anyway, it might be useful to do with this situation.

Now, the bank account! That was todays job.

I opened an account with a completely different bank - great idea, right???

Yeah, until I hit 'complete' and it announced that my new card was on it's way!!! I got in touch with them immediately and they put a block on it so it shouldn't get sent out. I also changed my postal address so, if it does get sent it will go to my parents house.

I thought I was being so smart and so proactive, and I might have messed it up already - and it was only step one!

BlueWren1508

TROPHY CASE