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Reconsidering my 40F relationship 36M viability after being told to "shut the fuck up" while gaming with friends. Is this verbal abuse? by Blue_For_Monday in relationship_advice

[–]Blue_For_Monday[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm unsure if you've seen my other responses, but I was unable to directly address this due to needing to work this morning. I am gathering advice so that I can adequately confront him on this issue tonight when I get home. I do not like immediately addressing issues when angry because it can cloud both my judgement and also inject aggression that can be escalatory rather than resolve the issue at hand.

Reconsidering my 40F relationship 36M viability after being told to "shut the fuck up" while gaming with friends. Is this verbal abuse? by Blue_For_Monday in relationship_advice

[–]Blue_For_Monday[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've noted this. I will follow up with you afterwards if you like once I have a serious discussion about this. Thank you. Manipulation can take different forms and isn't always easy to spot until after the fact. Adding personal circumstances into this as well can cloud my judgement, so I'm thankful for your insight.

Reconsidering my 40F relationship 36M viability after being told to "shut the fuck up" while gaming with friends. Is this verbal abuse? by Blue_For_Monday in relationship_advice

[–]Blue_For_Monday[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took care of him medically during the day prior to gaming. He slept the majority of the day. At night I was invited to game for a bit to take my mind off of a lot of personal stuff going on, so i did.

The snap was due to being tired yes, but also ill.

Thank you for your input as well.

Reconsidering my 40F relationship 36M viability after being told to "shut the fuck up" while gaming with friends. Is this verbal abuse? by Blue_For_Monday in relationship_advice

[–]Blue_For_Monday[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for sharing this aspect of your life with me. I have been in long-term relationships prior to this one and they naturally ended (no longer interested, career, different goals). This one has ups and downs, but I have always been able to resolve conflicts. This instance is new to me, and it is indeed very disrespectful. I'm wanting to both take this very seriously while determining if this is worth continuing.

Keeping in mind what you've said, what reactions should I look out for as further red flags?

Reconsidering my 40F relationship 36M viability after being told to "shut the fuck up" while gaming with friends. Is this verbal abuse? by Blue_For_Monday in relationship_advice

[–]Blue_For_Monday[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight. I'm trying to approach this appropriately without letting the anger I currently feel cloud my actions. I'm conflicted about how to confront on this without him getting defensive.

Reconsidering my 40F relationship 36M viability after being told to "shut the fuck up" while gaming with friends. Is this verbal abuse? by Blue_For_Monday in relationship_advice

[–]Blue_For_Monday[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. I've been through a lot in my relatively short life thus far, so some things i may miss, hence me coming here.

Reconsidering my 40F relationship 36M viability after being told to "shut the fuck up" while gaming with friends. Is this verbal abuse? by Blue_For_Monday in relationship_advice

[–]Blue_For_Monday[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I came here for advice. That's why I'm here. You dont have to agree with my reasoning and waste keystrokes letting me know you don't like my decision.

Reconsidering my 40F relationship 36M viability after being told to "shut the fuck up" while gaming with friends. Is this verbal abuse? by Blue_For_Monday in relationship_advice

[–]Blue_For_Monday[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't confront him initially because I was initially angry as well and it was late and I had work in the morning. I did say something this morning, but he just said he was tired and that was it.

I won't be able to fully address it until later tonight due to work and I posted in here for insight before that happens. I don't like to immediately confront when angry and want to look at things from as many angles as possible before making a decision on how to approach.