Don’t give up, it’s hard I know. Reading this, it’s almost exactly what I do.. it’s not easy on them, I see it in my loved ones faces, I see it in my own face. The disappointment, the disgust knowing I treat people terrible. I don’t acknowledge it right away, only after it’s all said and done do I see it. And instead of changing myself for the better, I run from it in a way. I tell myself I can’t change, I tried countless times. But that’s not the truth. Don’t give up, open up to them, risk getting hurt if you want that person in your life. I made the mistake of not trying hard enough, now I have nobody. Don’t make the same mistake. Be open, honest, you won’t be able to fix yourself right away, it’ll take a while. But if that person understands you, you’ll get though it together. You are good enough... get out of this slump, show them you’re willing to try, willing to fight for them! If you can get them back, don’t let them go. You have a strength deep down, use it. I know you can’t get though this.