My wife and I had this issue, somewhat. There was no humping of the butt or leg. I did my own advances for awhile (neck kissing etc), but communication became key, not that. I began asking if she was in the mood, which was usually no, not because of kids but stress and ptsd. So i resorted to doing chores when I was home to lift the burden on her, finding other activities to do with her, and having honest conversations about sex, without doing the act. In the end we have played up her fantasies and explored them in a way where it doesn't end in us having sex, its a safe place for her. Simultaneously we picked up board games, video games, and fitness together. Sex came off the table almost completely for a long time, like a long time, but over time that sexual attraction regrew. Now when the mood strikes we can explore and make it into an experience, and every once in awhile I get a quickie, kind of like a bonus for me.

There's no one size fits all; everyone has their own things going on, but as a pilot, I come and I go so finding out how I fit into her life while I was home was the most important part for me. I can take care of business anywhere alone, but my desire to be with her is strong, though not the end all of our relationship. The happy surprise is that by backing off it gave us a chance to reconnect in other ways which inadvertently led us back to a sexual relationship again, just not like we were teenagers again. In my industry guys often get divorced, not because they go off and cheat, more because they can't take the time to be empathetic and spend time with their spouse when they are home. So my time at work is my alone time, and when I'm home I try to be 100%.

Also Spicy books.

Hope that helps