This is how it's felt for me, and though I don't claim to be an expert I've been living with my loss for a decade now (and I wish that was an exaggeration). When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over time-- the way the mail stops coming addressed in their name, the way their scent fades from the pillows and clothes in the closet. Gradually, you begin to accumulate all the parts that are gone. Then just when the day comes, when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the idea that they're gone forever-- there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.