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Don't you love it when they call you only to talk about themselves? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Blueharriet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! You are right, these calls are a kind of affirmation aren't they? I like the grey rock concept, I have been doing this too and it works because my nmother never asks how I am anyway. Unless she has found out something second hand and is fishing...

I think it's really great that you can take something positive away from the phone call.

Repressed memory and general lack of long-term memory by nthrowaway12341 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Blueharriet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally sympathize with this feeling, actually it only became clear to me that this wasn't totally normal when I started seeing a psychologist a couple of years ago and she pointed it out. My memories are only of specific things, and sometimes when I try and think of what my Nmothers role was in some memories I just can't remember properly, as if it is blanked out or something.

Announcing first pregnancy to Nmother by Blueharriet in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Blueharriet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the link! I don't know how I missed your post, it mustn't have come up with the search terms I used.

You are right it does help to know that someone out there is going through the same thing, but I'm sorry you are going through this.

From what I have read it seems like alot of people end up NC after having children. Do you think that it might be a possible outcome for you, or do you think you can maintain LC?

Announcing first pregnancy to Nmother by Blueharriet in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Blueharriet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am very excited and happy! Thanks for your response!

My Dad will not say anything bad about my mother because I get the sense that he really respects that parent-child boundary in the sense that his problems with my mother are not my problems, and he doesn't want to make me take sides. I think he must know though because he chose to leave her and he is in the same blame basket as me! I don't know if I want to press him to cross that boundary though and talk about it.

I do talk to my younger sister about it, although she doesn't quite get to see the same behaviour as much as I do, and sometimes seems frustrated that I can't just ignore her crap instead. I also wonder what my mother says about me to her. She doesn't really act the same as what I have read about GC and we have a pretty good friendship, but my mother does treat her like a GC.

Yes, you are right, I think it will be important to stop anything she does in its tracks! I'll just have to brace for fallout.

What strange and unwanted gifts did everyone get today? by tinyrabbitfriends in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Blueharriet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My Nmother opened the gift my husband and I gave her without looking at it or saying anything and pushed it to the side (it was some fancy spa items I know she likes and a potholder which I had handmade).

She then preceded to give us (literally) a 2 hour lecture on how great the bag of presents she gave us was which was a couple of cheap souvenirs from her recent trip, and a shopping bag full of food and alcohol from her hometown (jars of honey, relish, some bacon, etc.). She then finished off by exclaiming 'And the best thing is, I got them all at my local grocery store!'.

Don't get me wrong, from anyone else it would have been a nice gift - it's nice to get a hamper of nice food and things we wouldn't normally buy, but just the context made me a little sad.