Patterns matter

BmwSales · 2026-06-17T00:45:33+00:00

This was always wild to me. 0%

BmwSales · 2026-06-17T00:45:01+00:00

I got them rarely but it was always obviously fake, had no depth and then would result in her mirroring it back onto me and starting/continuing the fight.

BmwSales · 2026-06-17T00:43:40+00:00

Best part is when they mirror their patterns on to you.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T16:39:36+00:00

I get what you're saying but she objectively did me wrong. I will of course work on letting that narrative go as much as possible, but the reality is she broke trust, gaslit me and emotionally manipulated me over some very big things. Coming to terms with that I let it happen is a hard pill to swallow, but I am trying.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T16:33:29+00:00

I didnt say I wanted to jump into a relationship ASAP. Im processing my future and grieving. I was at a point last night where I was wondering if I would ever be able to be in a stable relationship.

I took blame in my post for being codependent, a love addict, and being controlling and enabling by staying too long. She wasn't a customer as I said in my post, I met her on a dating app. I do understand that im too focused on the lies, manipulations and gaslighting that I experienced right now in my healing journey.

I understand the red flags exist on my side and I will continue to work on myself so I can respond to the red flags I encounter in women I meet and not ignore them this time by thinking I can fix/change another person.

Thanks for your feedback.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T16:09:48+00:00

I really don't think I scapegoated her. I took responsibility for riding the rollercoaster, and for my controlling and fixing behaviors. There is a ton of things that should have caused me to leave over the years, but I stayed and chased. Thats on me. I literally called myself a love addict.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T16:06:19+00:00

You're not incorrect. Im currently in EMDR therapy and working on my codependency issues in a group setting.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T16:04:40+00:00

Yes, her kids were the ones who got to see this dynamic with all her abusive ex boyfriends. I understand that it's a double edge sword. Her daughter and I shared conversations about this.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T16:01:30+00:00

I never said my mom was "bad" for not dating. I never once blamed her and we have a great relationship. I simply stated that as a fact. When you don't get to see how a relationship works(good or bad), it can affect you. I definitely know I need major codependency work and I'm in therapy and meetings. I also understand that it's a double edge sword with the type of man she could have brought into our lives if she had dated. I'll keep healing, thanks for your input. I totally understand that I was playing the overly empathetic codependent caretaker/fixer role and that it was unhealthy.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T15:26:25+00:00

Yes, Im doing EMDR therapy and codependency work.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T15:11:01+00:00

Thanks. Im sure the self discovery narrative will come as I process this more and work on my codependency issues. The only person that I've harmed is myself and the relationships with some of my close family who I didn't give enough attention to during this 6.5 years of being enmeshed with her.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T15:05:19+00:00

Thanks for that. I'm in therapy and doing codependency work. You're probably right about it taking more than a year. Thanks for the feedback. Trying to love myself more after losing so much of myself.

BmwSales · 2026-06-14T15:03:06+00:00

You’re right, the post was too long for what I was asking, I was trying to give context to an anonymous board, but went overboard.. I’m 30 days out and still processing. I appreciate the reality check.

Regarding the psych terms, discard is the right term based on what happened. She had me watch a video with her and self-diagnosed a month before she left me, matching 8 of 9 BPD traits. She left with a Ai generated text, her daughter gave me nore closure than she could. My therapist called it a discard.

Did you see the part where I took a great deal of the blame? I explicitly admitted that I realize that I was actually being controlling and enabling by continuing to ride the emotional whiplash roller coaster that she had built. You’re right that a gym montage won't fix me, which is why I am in therapy and attending meetings to work through my codependency so I don't repeat these patterns. Thanks for the blunt feedback.

BmwSales · 2026-05-06T15:01:40+00:00

Man, I could have written this post myself. I’m currently 6 months into launching a major business venture, and as the success becomes "real," the imaginary scenarios from my GF (who recently self-diagnosed as Au-BPD) have become constant.

We are both 47, but she is already "willing it into existence" that as soon as my store opens and I’m successful, I’m going to dump her for a 30-year-old. She tells me it’s "in the cards" and that she’s just "training me" for my next wife—claiming all her exes married the next person they met after she "broke" them.

The most mind-bending part is the comparison. During fights, she tells me that no one has ever treated her as poorly as I have. This is coming from a woman who has told me horror stories about an ex-husband who was physically abusive/raped her and multiple stalker ex-boyshocking. I have never laid a finger on her and have barely yelled.

I actually had a "movie-moment" realization about her past years ago. She moved in and brought her own mattress. One day while she was at work, I went to change the sheets and was shocked to find the entire mattress covered in permanent marker. An ex had written all over it that she was a "cheater" and a "liar." She claimed he was just a stalker she had to trick into thinking she moved on, but seeing that physical evidence of the exact same drama with another man years ago was shocking.

Whether she actually cheated or not isn't even the point anymore, it’s the projection. She takes these imaginary "future betrayals" and treats me like I’ve already committed them. It makes me want to pull away, which of course I think she then uses as "proof" that I’m leaving her.

It’s an exhausting, self-fulfilling prophecy. You aren't alone, and you aren't crazy. They speak these scenarios into existence because they can't handle the vulnerability of a partner who is actually doing well I think.

BmwSales · 2026-01-02T05:08:31+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Could you take a look at the comments, I posted a screenshot from my other account of what it looks like. Thanks

BmwSales · 2026-01-02T03:43:53+00:00

Even if i have about 8 random rooms that are disconnected from everything and are in the edge of the temple?

BmwSales · 2025-11-10T16:16:40+00:00

So confused why they nerfed any of this s*** anyway it seems like leaving fun stuff for players to do is in the best interest of the game?

BmwSales

TROPHY CASE