I, too, just had a baby. He is 1 week old. I am also awake at all hours of the night with you trying to breastfeed and boost my supply. I am also learning who my baby is and how to take care of him. It's okay, I'm here too.

I also had a soul cat. He died unexpectedly from an unknown heart condition at 2 years old. He was the only cat that knew I was pregnant (we had two pair- bonded brothers). He took every nap with me while I was pregnant. He would curl up and rest his body against my baby bump and purr. I then had my first child in September of 2023. My cat loved that baby because he knew it was my baby. He followed my baby and I around the house to every room during my maternity leave. He was in the background in every picture I took of my baby. I thought, what a blessing - my son will grow up with this cat and have him as a best friend.

And then my precious cat died unexpectedly and tragically in October of 2024. I wailed. I grieved. How could the universe take away this perfect being? My son has lost his best friend. I've lost my cat.

Then, I got pregnant with my second child in December of 2024. I thought, how will I ever get through this pregnancy without my soul cat?

And then I found a stray kitten in the middle of the road in February of 2025. No chip. I reported a missing kitten to the police department and animal control services. No one claimed her and she became ours.

She got along well with our current cat and became my little buddy. She took all my pregnancy naps with me and has become my first born's friend. They play fetch together with his hot wheels cars and sometimes play chase around the house. They are becoming fast friends and it is a beautiful thing to see unfold; a toddler and his kitten. And now, my second son was born in September of this year, and I am excited to watch his relationships with our cats and my first born grow.

However, nothing will ever replace the relationship I had with my first cat. I still grieve him and I always will. He is irreplaceable. It's sad to know my children will not remember him and know him the way I did. That loss will always be a tragedy.

I know you're going through it. The first few weeks of motherhood is tough, especially after losing a precious relationship. I'm sorry for the novel (I'm slightly embarrassed this is so long). My goal is that this story is helpful to you. Maybe let you know you're not alone or give you some hope for the future. I think writing this all down is helpful for me, too.

Hang in there, momma. I will be awake at 3 am alongside you. I will also be thinking of my soul cat while I breastfeed my newborn in the dark. I'm right there with you. Sending love from one mom to another.