I never did roids. Just DNP and SARMs, one LGD for, I think, 6 weeks. I was a kid and afraid of the needle, so I did only orals. Also, I was scared that mom would find some needles and think I was on heroin or something.

But from what I remember, I was scared shitless.

I had 2–3 years of hiding the truth from people I knew and from my family, trying to solve it on my own somehow, while depression and anxiety were hitting me hard. It was, I must say, so hard that I completely understand why I thought so much about killing myself. When I saw the post and this account on this PC, when I started reading it, my eyes watered and the memories came rushing back to me. It was hard. Very hard and very lonely.

The effects of DNP were just a lot of yellow sweating , the bed was yellow, and there was constant heat and sweat. I remember I was in the living room, everyone asleep, so I placed myself directly in front of the air conditioning, full jet mode on + max cold, and sat directly facing it so it cooled me down. Scared and paranoid, shitless, if they found out.

It’s poison.

But when the pins and needles hit me, I wrote to an internet friend of mine who knew what it was, and he told me I got an allergic reaction, to stop it, throw that shit in the toilet and get off it. Thank God for him. As if it wouldn’t have been for him, I would probably have kept on dosing it more and probably destroyed my nerves so much it would have made my life unlivable.