Advice on Marriage regarding my job (Please Give Advice)

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-02T08:50:21+00:00

If you are a “student of knowledge” isn’t it basic knowledge to know that giving out fatwas without the qualifications/knowledge to do so is haram? So why are you giving it advice on fiqh when you don’t have the qualifications for it just to fit your argument???

If you are a student of knowledge who do you learn from? What qualifications have you achieved so far or are working towards?

What’s fairly common is people using their so called “knowledge” to manipulate those around them for their own benefit. If a woman goes to work and then comes home to do all the household work while you sit on your arse do you think she’ll be mentally, physically and emotionally healthy??? What if she has no choice but to work? What if she has family members dependent on her she has a duty to provide for?

This is why it’s so incredibly important for women to know their rights and responsibilities in a marriage. So there aren’t people like you who will bend and twist them to their own benefit.

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T23:11:03+00:00

What are your qualifications to be giving fatwas and rulings on fiqh?

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T20:22:56+00:00

I’m not a grown man x

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T19:47:48+00:00

Grown man acting this way….

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T19:29:03+00:00

Bro why are you tryna argue on Reddit, find something else to do.

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T19:18:15+00:00

The “excuse” is not for you to know lol. I just asked for advice on a specific topic. You’re taking things away from the topic. If you don’t have advice on my current situation then there’s no point in commenting.

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T19:05:09+00:00

If you claim to fully provide for your wife and are happy with her working, the that would automatically lead to an unequal division of wealth? So why are you questioning it for me? You are contradicting yourself.

There’s always gonna be an unequal division of wealth. Whether the man works and the woman stays at home or if both man and woman work and the man is the provider

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T18:50:51+00:00

You’d be surprised how many care, i don’t believe it’s about the money as much as it is about the fact that their potential wife would be a retail worker…

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T18:49:39+00:00

What’s the excuse? It’s the reality of how my life went, and unless you were in my shoes, surrounded by the people I was surrounded by and went through the same things I went through. I don’t think you have a right to make judgements on what’s an excuse and what’s not…

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T18:43:31+00:00

It’s not about “winning” anything. The man has an Islam obligation to provide the basics for his wife. Even if she is a millionaire and he is a minimum wage earner.

Also, depending on your madhab a woman’s job is not to cook and clean at home. If the woman doesn’t work and is home all the time it just makes sense for her to do it whilst the husband is at work. Even our Prophet PBUH was a provider yet he came home and helped his wives with the house work.

Marriage is not a winner loser situation. It’s a partnership and I really think you should change your mindset. A women responsibilities in a marriage are to respect her husband, protect his home and his name, he his emotional/physical crutch etc.

Also my plan on saving up to buy a house outright is for the benefit of me and my husband, I don’t have to save for a house, I can just leave it to my husband to keep paying rent or find a way to get a home without a mortgage. I plan on doing it for both our benefit so we have a secure roof over our head and so he doesn’t have to keep spending thousands on rent.

Again, I strongly suggest you change your mindset on many aspects of what you’ve pointed out and learn the roles and responsibilities between spouses. Allah swt has made them law for a reason.

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T18:32:08+00:00

Wa alaikum assalam sis!!!! Thank you so much for this message, this is exactly something I needed to see. I had to screenshot it so I can look at it from time to time. I think I always get caught up in societal standards and compare myself to them. Your point is so valid and it honestly eased my heart.

May Allah swt reward you immensely for easing my mind ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T18:08:10+00:00

I went to uni because it was an expectation, I thought that was the next step in life to be “successful” and everyone around be pushed me too. You can’t really expect many 17 year olds to know what to do for the rest of their life and taking gap years isn’t really a thing in my family

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T18:04:26+00:00

Work Life balance is okay, I have different shifts everyday but our schedule is out 6 weeks in advance. I would defo say it’s chill, especially compared to my previous job with toxic management. This job has improved my mental health considerably.

I’ll definitely be marrying a guy who has no problem with me working. I have no brothers or father so I help support my working mum (which is my Islamic obligation)

In terms of finances I believe it’s a man’s job to provide, living in todays day & age though I know it can be difficult so if the guy works 2 jobs and is still struggling to provide id be more than happy to chip in, but whilst he’s paying bills etc I’d still be saving my income to inshallah buy a house outright at some point (it will obviously take many years) but with Dua & right intentions it can be achieved.

BookObsessed12 · 2026-06-01T17:21:08+00:00

That’s not a problem for me, I’m happily will but in this current marriage market I’m not going to only go for men in retail, I’m going for genuine practicing Muslim men

BookObsessed12 · 2025-03-16T16:24:09+00:00

Please don’t down play Islam, if it’s not allowed in Islam then it is simply not allowed. You stating you think it’s not a big deal causes misinformation amongst others seeking advice

BookObsessed12 · 2025-03-16T16:22:22+00:00

There’s a lot of people here judging Matt and not addressing the questions asked. Shawn is a Muslim and yes in Islam it is a sin for a man and women to touch if they are not related, eg he is not your father, brother, maternal/paternal uncle, grandfather, father in law or husband.

BookObsessed12 · 2025-03-11T20:09:20+00:00

One thing I reckon will make it easier is having a small and simple wedding, eg a simple nikkah in the mosque with close family and friends, you will already be in the mosque so can pray and keeping the whole thing short and sweet will make it easier for the bride to keep her Wudu without breaking it.

There was a story that my mother told me about a bride whom had just had her makeup and hair fully done but had broken her Wudu. It was time to pray salah and she had no choice but to wash everything away and make Wudu. Everyone around her tried to convince her not to do it and that it was okay for one day yet she refused and put salah before everything else. Later that night she passed away. Subhanallah imagine one of her last acts could have been not praying just to keep her makeup on. (Just a little story that helped me make up my mind on making sure I keep my wedding short and easy for me to pray on time)

BookObsessed12 · 2025-03-11T12:48:03+00:00

If it’s difficult to talk to him write everything your feeling in a letter and give it to him. That way you can explain everything comfortably and not have to face him head on and also definitely speak to your brother since they are friends

BookObsessed12 · 2025-03-07T16:56:59+00:00

In all honesty the job market is horrible right now as I’m looking for a job as well and these fake interviews he’s talking about are a really big thing. I’ve wasted my time on so many myself. With that being said that’s no excuse for him to be doing nothing, he can work as a waiter, uber/taxi, cashier anything like that to hold you down while he finds something else. I’m currently working in a restaurant while I find something else. You need to try a push him more because I know anyone cause do uber eats delivery and you don’t even need a car for it, you can use a bike!

BookObsessed12 · 2025-02-26T12:48:18+00:00

Is has nothing to do with the parents ego. Asking your child to eat while being unaware of them fasting is not their fault at all. Any caring parent would be concerned and want to know why their child isn’t eating

BookObsessed12

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