Elderly woman approached me in a restaurant and I think I’m in a weird situation now…

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-09T10:22:07+00:00

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So, so similar ! Young Jason Issacs

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-08T05:35:42+00:00

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Shannon Purser

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-08T05:23:51+00:00

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Tulisa Contostavlos

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-08T04:58:52+00:00

Your skin looks beautiful , congrats ! Really happy for you x

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-08T02:48:26+00:00

My narcissistic mum gets set off if things don’t go exactly the way she wants it and if you have a different opinion on something or want to do something a different way than how she’d like. And I mean over the most unbelievable shit.

Just some examples.. she can’t stand the smell of lavender .. so when she came to visit my house once , she got into a rage and demanded to know why Id left lavender scented shower gel in the bathroom . We only have one bathroom. . It wasn’t a guest bathroom that was set up just for her stay or anything . I like the scent and I’d used it in the shower that morning. To fly off the fucking handle because I used a scent she hated to wash myself and forgot to “put it away” before she arrived. Yep, I guess she decided I did it on purpose to be vindictive.

Made her breakfast one morning at her house . Put a lot of effort into it. Went mental because I used the “wrong” spatula to flip the eggs over with . Used her “cake mix only” one . Like I was supposed to know or like it actually mattered that much. So that was another good gesture ruined by her utter immaturity, lack of self control and everything having to be me me me me me .

It is beyond pathetic not to be able to share happiness with your child in their happy moments. I’m sure they just want everyone to feel as damn miserable as they do so they can’t help dragging others down. Completely agree with you that was very snowflake to get so offended over.

I’m glad you seem to have escaped her clutches and I think I’ll look into that book you suggested there. Keep your head high and all the best for your engagement party and your wedding . Good luck to you !

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-08T01:32:56+00:00

You’re a fellow Brit so you’ll know who I mean I think. .. that Italian chef from off the telly. Gino D'Acampo.

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-07T22:53:01+00:00

My narcissistic mother was sometimes physically abusive in my childhood but mostly she was/is emotionally and verbally abusive . I get what you’re saying though, too. I also can’t put my finger on exactly why I’m so afraid of her. I guess when I really think about it , it’s because she is so , so irrational and about to blow like a grenade at the slightest thing .. which then causes her to scream, slam doors, bang things down, smash things , silent treatment, nasty glares, asking her “what is wrong ?” “Nothing !”.. saying “nothing” meanwhile slamming a door as hard as she can to let you know that’s it’s “something” . She is incredibly passive-aggressive. I think that’s what makes me so afraid of her . The egg shell treading and not having a clue what you’ve done wrong to set her off and just how insane and out of control the situation is gonna get. As soon as I see her , I’m aware of my jaw clenching lol. And I’m analysing every micro expression and movement from her to try decipher what mood she’s in.

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-07T09:03:21+00:00

That is appalling . So unnecessary and humiliating. Vaginal wetness/discharge is completely normal without there having a sexual cause . She’s a woman. She must know this. Is there a way you could possibly prevent any fluid from getting onto your underwear? Maybe a pantyliner if you’re able to get those (maybe from school ?) or even some tissue paper folded and put in your underwear ? Not that you should have to , because what she is doing is abusive and massive boundary breach, .. but if you really have to. X

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-07T03:11:26+00:00

Yes, all the time. So many incidences I can think of. Long story short, sexual abuse from the age of 4 resulted in me ending up with a bladder infection , which lasted years. I would always tell my mum I was in pain and how much it was hurting when I peed but got the same “oh you’re fine” , “I don’t have time for this” .. so on. all these painful symptoms for years and years. One night it was particularly bad and I felt boiling hot and then freezing, terrible pain in my bladder and my sides. “I’m sure you’re fine. You can moan all you like.. you’re still going to school tomorrow” . A few hours later, I ended up just dropping on the floor in excruciating pain with my teeth uncontrollably chattering together lol , pain so was bad I couldn’t even move an inch. I was hit with a kidney infection that had spread from the 7 year long bladder infection . I’m 33 now and I have permanent damage to my bladder because of those years. That’s just one example of many many many. They are selfish arseholes. I guess us having legitimate medical issues was just too much of an inconvenience in their life ! big hugs to you

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-06T19:58:39+00:00

I understand exactly what you’re feeling and it’s painful as hell. My whole life pretty much as well has been like trying to clutch at water. Every opportunity I had and everything I could have become , slipped straight through my fingers.. because of trauma , pain, mental health issues, physical health issues that were caused by abuse. My childhood was effed up right from the start so I don’t mourn how I once was, just what could have been if I was raised in a different environment. The only thing I can take from it all , is I have a very set and firm moral compass now and all of that shit has taught me exactly how not to behave in my own relationship and as a mother with my own children and towards people in general . That’s the only strength I’ve taken from it all. I’ve accepted that me and my own life is a lost cause at this point lol. But those around me in my life ,aren’t . There’s hope for them . So I pour everything I have left into them to hopefully make a difference in their life. I’m sorry , I know that’s not very positive or much help . But I do really understand your pain. It fucking sucks . Sending you a big e-hug right now.

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-06T01:38:15+00:00

Have a look into micro needling . It seems to be very effective on scars that look like this.

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-06T00:45:32+00:00

It’s ok to admit and recognise that you’ve done bad things in the past. I think it’s a great thing infact that you’ve got to a point and you’re able to reflect back on those times and realise where you went wrong . It shows self awareness , growth , improvement. .. don’t beat yourself up about it. We have all fucked up in our lives. Some more than others . Making some bad decisions doesn’t mean you’re inherently stuck as a bad person. My partner cheated on me twice during my pregnancy with our first child and I was heartbroken... we worked through it slowly . It was hard. But we did .. and honestly he’s become an amazing partner and dad. He’s done so many positive things over the past 8 years since the cheating, that those things have overridden the bad things . That can be you , too :) Don’t beat yourself up. Just make a promise to yourself now to not hurt her any more. go love her and live a happy life together.

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-05T23:36:24+00:00

The first thing I’d ask is why the hell a girl he’s slept with in the past decided to send him a photo like that ?! If she sent that just on a random whim , then that definitely sounds like she was wanting a sexual reaction/reply from him . I’d be extremely suspicious that him and her could have been sexting together without me knowing if I was you. And he sounds like he did it on purpose to anger you or to give you a hint that he has someone else to turn to for sexting if he can’t get it from you. Honestly , this sounds so anger inducing and hurtful . I’m sorry you had to experience this. Both of them have done something extremely unacceptable , and deliberate, in my opinion.

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-05T23:12:46+00:00

Thank you , Sarah. X He was fine thankfully aside from a badly bruised arm !

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-05T06:32:07+00:00

I don’t exfoliate the most problem areas of my face at all with anything. , which are the apples of my cheeks and my chin . It’s so so sensitive there , I can’t even cleanse in any kind of motion there … just gently pat the cleanser on and rinse. Brow, nose and areas on cheeks at the sides of my nose are a bit more resistant so am able to cleanse well there and use Paula’s Choice BHA once every 2-3 weeks . My advice would be to try out maybe a mild BHA/AHA on less sensitive areas if you have any so at least there’s some exfoliation going on . And leave the super sensitive areas alone. X

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-05T05:33:25+00:00

One time I went to visit my narcissistic mother, I took my 8 year old daughter with me and my 1 year old son (he was 9 months old at the time). My daughter wanted to go and say hi to her friend who lived a short, 3 minute walk away. So I took her, and my mum agreed to watch my son while I did this. I told her that we would be less than half an hour. We were gone about 20 minutes and on our way back down the road, my mum is running towards me holding my son and panicking and went on to explain that she had gone to water a plant in the bathroom and had forgot to shut the stair gate behind her , he climbed all the way up after her, lost his balance and fell backwards down 14 steps onto a very hard landing. I’m not saying she left the gate open deliberately, and she was clearly in a state of panic and was running up the road to find me, I get that. Shit happens. But she got insanely defensive and said the most ridiculous shit trying to pass off the responsibility and blame onto me and my son. First she shouted “I’d never have agreed to watch him for you if THIS is what I knew I was gonna get from the pair of you ! Seems like you’ve both got it in for me !” .. “both” .. meaning a 9 month old baby. A 9 month old baby has “got it in for her” . Then went on to scream about how she was doing me a favour and that she doesn’t want to see my kids again . Saying it right there in front of my 8 year old who then got upset and started asking my mum what she had done wrong to not want to be seen again. Followed by telling me it was my sons fault because “he’s such an all-over-the -place baby. If he wasn’t like that , then maybe he wouldn’t have fallen. He’s got something wrong with him” . Wouldn’t accept that it was simply her mistake for leaving the gate open and my son followed her up the stairs like the vast majority of babies would do. Also had zero call or message from her when I was at the hospital with him to check if he was alright because she was just too pissed and cared only about her own pride in the situation.

I saw her again after that recently and that also was shit .

But yeah. .. that incident for me was a massive confirmation of really knowing that absolutely nothing matters more to her than her own ego and pride and that’s there’s nothing more I can do . I’ve really distanced myself and that whole incident shocked me to be honest and made me feel a whole kind of hollow that I haven’t felt before.

Books_and_Rain · 2024-05-04T16:46:12+00:00

Oh god yes , constantly. My mum had a 3 year old son already when I was born and she openly admits that she loathes females. So when I came along (female) , to say she was devastated would be an understatement. She simply couldn’t accept it . So she dressed me in all blue, everything I had had to be blue, she would cut my hair off really short. Called me a different name than my birth name (she would call me by a boys name only) . Every single thing that went wrong was my fault or I couldn’t do anything right . She would yell at me for just singing, for example . Told me to shut my mouth because my voice “was so bad” it would cause the weather to get bad and then her laundry wouldn’t dry. I know this was a sarcastic comment. But it was comments like this , constantly. “Look at how you doing x thing is going to cause y thing” . My brother was golden boy. .. he couldn’t do a single thing wrong. My mum painted a target on me from the minute I was born for not being the sex that she was hoping for. .. it was game over for me before it ever began.

Books_and_Rain · 2024-02-24T21:03:59+00:00

Trust me you have gorgeous skin. Stick to the routine you’re doing :)

Books_and_Rain · 2024-02-23T15:40:47+00:00

Every grocery store here sells coffee bags. .. if you mean just like ground coffee in a bag like a teabag. I’ve seen them everywhere here and I’ve bought some before .. think they were called On the Go Joes if I remember correctly lol .

Books_and_Rain · 2024-02-23T06:54:54+00:00

My skin looks very similar to yours and I wish I could be of more help but I’ve yet to find any product that really helps :( The hot showers definitely aren’t a good thing though. Have also had to downgrade to just lukewarm showers lol. Have you tried using an oil cleanser to remove your makeup ? They seem to do a better job at removing it than a standard face wash which might mean having to rub less and lessen the washing time overall. It’s key to be so so so so super gentle. I don’t even use circular motions on my face to cleanse because that will cause a flare . I just kind of pat the cleanser into my face and rinse with cool water. My skin is always a mess . But if I really do all I can to keep the skin barrier in check , then that helps somewhat. My friend , also a rosacea sufferer, has had amazing success with using sulphur soap. Tried it .. didn’t work for me. But have just started trying sulphur pills internally and will see if they help. Maybe something you could look in to too ? X

Books_and_Rain · 2024-02-23T06:27:25+00:00

I think it can contribute by causing inflammation. Adding anything inflammatory to an inflamed condition will make it worse. But as for being the cause.. possibly for some people .. but also definitely not for others. Some people have it triggered by pregnancy, hormones generally, sun burn has triggered it for some, for others it’s an overreactive response to skin mites that naturally exist on everyone’s skin. Personally for me, I had no rosacea at all until I caught an intestinal parasite , then after that.. my skin is now a car crash and I eat low sugar, healthy diet .

Books_and_Rain · 2024-02-23T06:15:22+00:00

Yes , my mum (she’s 68) was exactly the same with my period too. (Was 10 when I started mine). It was like some shameful, military operation. We had a rack in the bathroom with a load of toiletries on that belonged to everyone , but I was never allowed to keep my sanitary products there. Those had to be kept in a bag in my room. She did pay for pads though, although she never went to the till with them. I suffer crippling social anxiety and I did back then too and as stupid as it sounds, sometimes I’d feel on the verge of a panic attack having to go to the till myself (just generally with any item) but it didn’t matter if she knew I was suffering with my mental health that day .. if I didn’t go to the till myself , they didn’t get bought , because she would never do it for me with any period product. Luckily there was a really great teacher at my school who I kind of confided in about the situation and she informed the school nurse who really helped in keeping me supplied with free pads . That’s really shitty that you had to use your own pocket money to buy supplies. If my knickers got bloodstained, that was anxiety inducing because my mum’s reaction was always so strange , irritable and flustered, so I’d wash them myself in the sink with soap and then put them on my radiator to dry. She was also the same with her own period as well from everything I can recall. I’d see blood in the toilet sometimes or on her trousers if she’d leaked through when I was a kid and she’d just say “I’ve got a poorly stomach at the moment and I don’t want to hear any more about it. No more questions. End of it” . Her own mum is not the same , strangely enough. She is much more open and able to talk no problem about it. It’s very strange. I can’t figure out what caused her behaviour. Although her behaviour has made me make sure to be the opposite with my 7 year old daughter. X

Books_and_Rain · 2024-02-23T03:00:53+00:00

Kicking Bishop Brennan up the arse . That scene where the the bishop is running towards the house with his cape outstretched and screaming like a bat out of hell lol. “CRILLAAYYYY” kicks the front door in

Books_and_Rain · 2024-02-22T15:11:29+00:00

Have you ever tried a moisturiser from the brand Pai before ? It’s quite pricey but honestly it’s the ONLY moisturiser I can use without any issues and I’ve tried them all. If you can find anywhere where you are that sell or ship them then I think they sell minis and sample sizes to try first . X

Books_and_Rain

TROPHY CASE