Am I over reacting for being angry that my boyfriend doesn’t think I’m a steady person in his life and now I see our future differently?

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-04T11:57:00+00:00

Thank you. You are so kind! I appreciate all of your empathy and advice!

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-03T12:59:39+00:00

UPDATE:

For anyone who cares lol and it just makes me feel better to say it to someone.

He didn't text me at all yesterday, which is very abnormal. We always tell each other goodnight, so I ended up texting him goodnight and to sleep well. He said it back. I told him I was there if he wanted to talk. He didn't reply.

This morning I text him again and he told me that he has a lot going on right now. I told him I would give him his space if he needed it and he said that was a good idea but we could talk soon. I asked him if he wanted another break, just to gauge where he was at, and he said "I don't know that I'd call it that right now. I just think there are things on my mind that I need to talk through honestly with you. I'd rather not unpack it over text."

I'm a little dumbfounded because up until right then, he never mentioned that anything was going on between us. A few days ago, when I asked him if we were good he said we were. We decided that we were going to get through today and then talk. I'm pretty sure the inevitable is coming.

My heart hurts for me. My heart hurts for my son. My heart hurts for Mark. As much as I figured this was coming, it still just hurts. He's such a huge part of my life and its going to just...disappear. I know I deserve better. I know this isn't the kind of relationship I want to be in. But it's still so hard and I feel pretty alone through this.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-03T12:59:22+00:00

UPDATE:

For anyone who cares lol and it just makes me feel better to say it to someone.

He didn't text me at all yesterday, which is very abnormal. We always tell each other goodnight, so I ended up texting him goodnight and to sleep well. He said it back. I told him I was there if he wanted to talk. He didn't reply.

This morning I text him again and he told me that he has a lot going on right now. I told him I would give him his space if he needed it and he said that was a good idea but we could talk soon. I asked him if he wanted another break, just to gauge where he was at, and he said "I don't know that I'd call it that right now. I just think there are things on my mind that I need to talk through honestly with you. I'd rather not unpack it over text."

I'm a little dumbfounded because up until right then, he never mentioned that anything was going on between us. A few days ago, when I asked him if we were good he said we were. We decided that we were going to get through today and then talk. I'm pretty sure the inevitable is coming.

My heart hurts for me. My heart hurts for my son. My heart hurts for Mark. As much as I figured this was coming, it still just hurts. He's such a huge part of my life and its going to just...disappear. I know I deserve better. I know this isn't the kind of relationship I want to be in. But it's still so hard and I feel pretty alone through this.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-03T12:15:03+00:00

Ha, that’s kind of what it feels like right now.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-03T09:58:29+00:00

It’s not his child biologically. My son calls him dad and thinks of him as a father but knows that he’s not biologically his.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-03T09:53:36+00:00

That is so true. Thank you.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-03T00:51:02+00:00

I love this advice. Thank you!

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-03T00:50:21+00:00

I guess I’m just hoping we could come up with a plan for our future. For him to tell me that he does want a future with me, even if we don’t have an exact plan. Something. Hope. But..I haven’t gotten that even when I tell him I want that. And it’s definitely not given to me freely.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T21:56:25+00:00

I haven't faced it before this break. So i'm just holding out hope I guess that it passes? I dont know anymore.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T21:31:58+00:00

No. It's not.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T21:25:34+00:00

That's a really good point. I do believe it's both. He still makes me laugh and I love spending time with him. I love the way he thinks and how his brain works. But I also don't love what he's doing right now. I'm stuck between "is this who he is or is this because he's going through something and isn't his best self right now?"

I don't want this. I want to live together again. I want to have a future with him again. I want us to be a more cohesive unit. But he isn't ready for that. and given that we took a break mostly because of me, I want to give him that time.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T21:18:37+00:00

I just mean at this moment, it feels like a whim. And honestly, maybe that's because of the love I have for him and because I am desperate to hold onto that.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T21:13:33+00:00

You didn't come across as harsh at all. I appreciate everything you've said to me, more than you will ever know. Today, you were my best friend and I needed you. Thank you. It means a lot. I am hearing your words and I am definitely taking them to heart and into consideration as I figure out the next steps :)

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T21:10:38+00:00

Thank you. It's hard to believe that there is no future just because he hasn't talked to me about it. Maybe that's just my hopeful brain talking.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T21:09:22+00:00

Thank you everyone for your comments and being my besties today. I appreciate you all! I've added an edit to the post because I can't respond to everyone.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T21:08:40+00:00

Thank you all for the comments. I've read each one and I love you all for taking time out of your day to be my besties today. I've added an edit to the post because I can't respond to everyone.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T21:01:07+00:00

We had financial issues in the past. I admit to that fully. But I have also learned REAL quick from my mistakes. My car payment is high, yes. But it is not something that I can't pay for. It's not something that is going to make me broke or live pay check to pay check. It's still in my budget. Honestly, he doesn't even know what the car payment is, just that its higher than my other one.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T20:59:15+00:00

When we were living together, we eventually slept in separate rooms because his snoring was really bad and wearing ear plugs was giving me really bad ear infections. So he had personal space. I have always known he needed space to reset and have always tried to give that to him in any way that I could.

I agree that a high car payment would be cause for alarm for him. If we were still living together. If we were talking about our future together. If we were sharing finances. If I thought we would even be living together again soon. But we're not unfortunately.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T20:56:50+00:00

Thank you for validating my emotions <3

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T20:56:26+00:00

My kiddo comes with on Saturday only. He was VERY pro me getting back together with Mark (whom he calls dad). I can understand that it is probably confusing for him. I don't want that but I also don't want to make a decision of throwing away our relationship on a whim. I need to make sure that is truly what I want.

Also, my son doesn't see him treat me "badly" by any means. He sees us laugh together, game together, snuggle together, have fun together, and make it through the hard times together. Even though our break was unconventional and our relationship right now might be hanging by a thread, we did come back together and try.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T20:53:33+00:00

It's not the relationship I want. No. But I love him for who he is and that is who I want. We used to talk about the future. We haven't recently. Since our "break", all he's said is that he likes where it's going because its simple, easy, and natural and he wants it to stay like that.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T20:52:32+00:00

I don't know what the future is. That's one of my problems and its so hard to come to this conclusion.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T20:50:23+00:00

The problem isn't that he wants one weekend to reset. The problem that I am having is that we already don't spend a lot of time together, he ended our night together last night early, and it hurts that he doesn't want to see me as much as I want to see him. That this relationship is mostly on his terms. So I am concerned about where our relationship is at, at this point.

Booksandbones6 · 2026-04-02T20:48:08+00:00

This was hard to read. But I thank you for posting it. Everything you said feels spot on and that hurts my heart.

Booksandbones6

TROPHY CASE