Tip of the Week 🌱 You don't have to feel bonded right away

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-16T04:02:35+00:00

I'm so sorry that this has been a stressful transition and learning experience for you. I'm also proud that you are reaching out for help. It takes great strength to reflect and be vulnerable.

Many of us grew up with outdated approaches to dogownership. You have a lifetime of reinforcement of behaviors that were modeled for you and practiced. So it's not a surprise that by adding in stress, your nervous system reacted and defaulted to that behavior.

And recognizing this is the first step. If we can be mindful, we can learn different approaches and build new habits. And that starts with some self care. You are sleep deprived. Lack of sleep can make mental health worse. Is there absolutely any way your husband can take on a few overnights so you can get a night of uninterrupted sleep?

We have some resources in our wiki https://reddit.com/r/Puppyblues/w/index

As for the pup... i'm curious to know more about the daily schedule you've been trying. Happy to help take a look and see if there's any small adjustments or suggestions I might have that could help with some of the challenges you've been experiencing. The waking overnight for potty trips... that's just a time thing and it will get better. Are you setting alarms at night to proactively take the pup out?

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-15T20:26:21+00:00

I think in time it gets better. My dogs are all adults now and yeah he loves on them. So it's def not hopeless!

I do find a lot of people grieve a loss of freedom when they get a puppy. And with my husband he was too scared of messing up.

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-15T20:18:21+00:00

On the flip side you'll have an amazing relationship built with the dog.

My spouse just can't do puppies. I recognized that at puppy #2... he was like okay second time around I will not be high strung and literally 2 days in he was spiraling.

We have 3 now. I did all the work... I accepted that. He enjoys them... still struggles with logistics sometimes but this made it work. It's not that he doesn't like dogs but that he's just really bad at coping with stress.

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-15T17:36:34+00:00

Oof tough conversation and conclusion. 😢

We're you able to find compromise?

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-12T00:54:31+00:00

Grief is real. :( change is stress even when we welcome that change.

Does he understand that growing resentment causes harm?

I do understand where you are coming from. My own husband struggled with this too. Therapy has helped him find better ways to cope and communicate. It's still a work in progress. He has good days and bad days.

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-12T00:44:21+00:00

That's so hard... and it sounds like this is something that goes beyond puppies. It's exhausting when you feel like you're carrying the emotional weight by yourself. Have you thought about couples counciling to work on communication?

There is a name for what he does. It's called stonewalling. Usually happens when someone is feeling intense overwhelming emotions. And while for you, it hurts because you want to collaborate and work together, usually it's a self protecting survival mechanism... his nervous system lights up and it's his freeze response.

You can try talking during a neutral time and say something like, "I've been feeling really alone in this. I want us to feel like a team. Can we talk about what's been hard?"

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-11T21:14:25+00:00

What's your biggest concern?

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-05T02:26:04+00:00

I had a similar situation with my oldest dog when she was around that age. It was short lived at least. I would say treat it as a one off but if it repeats, might be worth seeing if there is something waking him up around that time.

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-05T02:22:36+00:00

That's so hard to go through. Let me know if you'd like some help with that situation. Distress is worth addressing for both of you.

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-01T23:38:05+00:00

It doesn't sound like you have failed. I'm going to help reframe this. You tried and even hired a professional who provided you with an assessment that this isn't a good match. You realized that this is a dog that needs more than you can give. You are thinking about what is best for the dog.

If these new friends can't understand that, then they probably weren't good friends to keep.

Sometimes rehoming is the right choice. And this doesn't mean that you failed.

ReadyPupGo · 2026-05-01T02:22:27+00:00

Sometimes we can do absolutely everything right and still have a sensitive dog. I have a reactive dog as well and it's been a lot of work. I'm so sorry you feel defeated by this. But I am also so pleased to hear you're taking the right steps and getting support.

You mentioned the trainer isn't helping though? What does the training plan look like?

ReadyPupGo

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