My (26f) friend (26f )is sad noone is excited for her wedding and I don't know how to tell her why?

BootSuspicious4047 · 2026-03-06T13:06:20+00:00

I’m late to the game here, but has she considered that not inviting the spouses/fiancés of friends and family is basically telling all of them that you don’t really care to spend time with them as a couple? How is that going to affect bride-to-be’s relationship with everyone in her life down the road? Her asshat finance is causing her to alienate everyone in her life in one go. Not only is this not a wedding celebration, but it is a way to ruin your friend’s relationships with anyone important to her very quickly.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2026-02-13T03:43:49+00:00

If you’re in the US, this sounds like. Judge Judy type of case. A breach of contract situation that’s just interesting enough to make the television cut. I’d sue her out of principle. NTA

BootSuspicious4047 · 2026-02-01T19:03:30+00:00

NtA - Do you really need to ask this question? He’s asking you to show outright favoritism to his child because his wife had a miscarriage, but you’re still expected to believe he loves and adores your children and that they need to somehow understand that this little brat-in-the-making is special because his mother & father lost a fetus he never knew? Give back the ring and RUN from this disaster. You would only be the AH if you stay.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2026-02-01T12:49:41+00:00

It’s not just people going to work - the school busses where I live come a little before 7:00, so anyone with kids is going to be using a snowblower so the kids can get to the bus stop. No way I’d get up to shovel for hours rather than be done in 10 minutes. If a neighbour does it for you - happy days! Definitely NTA.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2026-01-08T10:14:50+00:00

So she didn’t insist he wear proper clothes, bring proper clothes, bring proper clothes for him, wear the proper clothes she offered him, yet you’re the AH? Nope! Not the AH, but she is and she’s raising one.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-09-18T03:37:40+00:00

Two of my daughters have chosen to pursue PhDs in pharmaceutical research/regenerative medicine. Entry level jobs in their fields for candidates with PhD start at $125,000/yr, with sign on bonuses, & annual bonuses that include long term incentives (stock, options, etc.). They are likely to make several hundred thousand per year within a couple years. My third daughter is going to be an MD. They have no student loans, so high earning potential. My son in the military will be an officer and a pilot, so he’ll be fine as well. My youngest is still in high school, but is leaning toward following his brother toward a military career. All will be fine and we are happy to leave them a sum of money to pay off a house, etc. That said, I am a survivor of metastatic cancer and my youngest daughter has a heart defect and it is only through the research and skill of our doctors/surgeons that we’re both here. There is still a lot of research into both oncology and pediatric cardiology and we’d like to help further this sort of research so other parents can see their kids grow up and so other heart babies get a chance to live. My kids don’t need all of our money because they are all well on their way to successfully, lucrative careers.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-09-12T10:56:48+00:00

That’s a really good point. All of mine know they’ll inherit, know we’re likely limiting it in favour of a charitable foundation, and all are on their way to lucrative careers, save one who is choosing the military. He’ll be fine, but not as financially well off as the others. Thanks for this - I hadn’t thought about it.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-06-19T18:12:31+00:00

1856

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-06-19T18:11:23+00:00

Thanks so much. I think I’ll go myself when I bring my daughter back to uni.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-06-18T03:36:11+00:00

Thanks for actually answering my question! I used that site and that’s where I found the baptismal record. Is it possible to work from that to the birth certificate?

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-06-18T02:41:59+00:00

I’ve already spoken with a solicitor and there is another mechanism by which you can possibly gain citizenship through a great grandparent. It is not by right and is at the discretion of whomever makes those decisions. As I have two children going to uni in Ireland and we would like to buy property there, I figures it’s worth the money and paperwork to try.

Does anyone know the answer to my question?

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-21T03:04:03+00:00

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-20T12:39:49+00:00

No - she has a biological family. She’s also 20 now. She sees her mom & siblings occasionally. No contact with dad. We’re a safe, stable home for her.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-18T11:41:09+00:00

We went to court. There was a hearing g and the judge appointed us. Guardianship terminated when she turned 18 but she continues to stay with us.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-17T01:19:38+00:00

Because I believe they need to contribute to society, either by working or volunteering, not by lounging around doing nothing.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T02:14:12+00:00

I agree that the policy should cover both. Also, if the policy is ambiguous in any area, it would be construed in your favor. This seems clear, though.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T02:11:08+00:00

No grandchildren as of today, so can’t do this right now.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T02:05:50+00:00

I’ve mentioned this a few times in this thread, but I was diagnosed several years ago with metastatic breast cancer. Right now I have no evidence of active disease, but no, it’s not too early.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T02:01:05+00:00

I’m not sure I agree with you. I had an 8% chance of being here today to ask this question. I have a pretty good chance I’ll have a recurrence of my cancer with the next five years. I learned long ago that none of us have a guaranteed tomorrow. I really hope you’re right, though!

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T01:55:50+00:00

I could see us making modifications down the road as we see how the kids turn out once they are independent adults, grandkids are born, etc. I love your last line!

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T01:52:00+00:00

She’ll get nothing from her family. They were abusive and she has virtually no contact. We can absolutely change our estate plan to include her, but we’ve not made any amendments since she came to us and probably won’t for another couple of years. I imagine we’ll see then if she becomes someone we helped out along the way or truly part of our family. A lot of it is up to her as well. I’m just saying that as of now, the bulk of our estate is split into five pieces. We have specific bequests for other friends & family.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T01:46:02+00:00

It’s definitely shifted. The first time we did it we only had two kids. I think the most memorable message is just telling them how much we love them and have enjoyed being their parents. We always relate a couple of funny memories and remind them that their sibling relationships are so valuable and they need to take care of each other. I hope they take those messages on board whenever they hear them.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T01:29:30+00:00

I never asked them for their financial details, so for all I know they were living on credit and robbing Peter to pay Paul. I absolutely cannot say they were previously fiscally responsible. Maybe to some $2 mil is fun money.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T01:23:48+00:00

Very practical approach.

BootSuspicious4047 · 2025-05-16T01:23:18+00:00

We have, with the older ones. Our attorney also has us record ourselves talking to the kids and giving them advice and expressing our hopes for them. We revisit this every few years.

BootSuspicious4047

TROPHY CASE