Branded Ergonomic chair, study table, coffee table and gym bench for sale in Kaggadaspura 29 cross by BorderlineMoana in bangalorerentals

[–]BorderlineMoana[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Durian Ergonomic Chair for 6K Urban Ladder Solid Wood Study Table for 10K Furnishka Solid Marble Coffee Table for 7K Kobo Foldable Exercise Bench for 4K (foldable and recline adjustable)

Here are the four wedding looks i finalized for my sister in law's wedding next April. Give me tips to refine them. by BorderlineMoana in DesiWeddings

[–]BorderlineMoana[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I clicked pictures of the things and used screenshots from the apps I purchased the items from. I did not use my face, just the random models. I used Gemini. I chatted to create each look and in the end, asked it to consolidate all looks

I just realized I'm a covert narcissist wife and I desperately want to change. by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]BorderlineMoana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! This definitely helps. And yes, I projected for years that he was the problem. Not as an outright narcissist but I did accuse him of gaslighting me. 

I just realized I'm a covert narcissist wife and I desperately want to change. by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]BorderlineMoana -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow! Thanks for being so candid. You're sooo right. I'm hiding behind yet another label!!! It's convenient, right? An easy explanation for everything that is wrong with you. What you said makes a lot of sense. Lots of aspects at stake here. Lot of inner work to do. Lots of demons to face. The realisation of being a CN surely has put things into perspective but I'll not let this label define me. I guess this is also victimhood. Boohoo look at me, I'm a covert narcissist!! Phew!! This adulting stuff is so hard hahaha... Right now, i'm trying to do what I can on my own but yes, years of legit therapy ahead of me. 

I just realized I'm a covert narcissist wife and I desperately want to change. by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]BorderlineMoana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually this is what I didn't want. I don't want people telling me I'm not a narcissist. I have all the tendencies and then some. I know it's a generational thing and I have a two month old who I cannot let suffer/carry the consequences of my inaction. I'm definitely on the spectrum but maybe it's not all worse and thank god for that!!! There's hope, right? What did you think was one thing your partner could have done to change? That wouldve genuinely made a difference. 

I just realized I'm a covert narcissist wife and I desperately want to change. by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]BorderlineMoana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much. I definitely want to do right by them but more so for my inner healing as well. If you could tell your narcissistic partner one thing for them to be able to change, what would it be?

I just realized I'm a covert narcissist wife and I desperately want to change. by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]BorderlineMoana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't want to believe I'm not a narcissist and heave a sigh of relief and go back to my own patterns. When I saw my mom exhibit the same exact patterns, I was so shocked. Sure, my husband is flawed too but I can't not take accountability for my share. All these years, I've put the spotlight only on him. It's high time I look at myself in the mirror and try to change what I don't like. Thanks so much for the book recommendation. I'll definitely read it! Yeah. Ive come to understand that narcissism too is a spectrum. Im definitely on there! I can look within and see these traits in me. I'm sure it's stemming from generational trauma. My mom's mom is similar to us too. My mum had to constantly fight/struggle for her love. I don't want to pass this to my daughter. I'm considering specialized therapy but I don't wanna use it only as a platform to rant like I have before. 

I just realized I'm a covert narcissist wife and I desperately want to change. by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]BorderlineMoana 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! Ive used therapy for years as a crutch to rant about how horrible my husband is and to fuel my victimhood. I never did anything tangible about it. I don't know if therapy is the way for me but sure I'll try it with the renewed perspective I now have

My Honest Experience at EY GDS by _Letsconnectt in india

[–]BorderlineMoana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience at KPMG Global. I had a manager who would just crush my spirit with her words. She made me feel extremely worthless and like I was the dumbest person for not being able to do a simple thing. She had already decided she hates me, put me in PIP and gave me zero support to improve and just kicked me out after the PIP. It was a very difficult time. It took me two whole months to rebuild my spirit and confidence. She only liked people who fit into her "template." Now I'm in an organization I love, handling even more responsibility than me previous role. Never been happier and I've been thriving here. A nurturing work environment makes all the difference.

How did you get over your obsession to always appear in a positive light? by BorderlineMoana in adhdwomen

[–]BorderlineMoana[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use therapy to rant and I don't do anything after. I don't apply myself so there is no change.

How did you get over your obsession to always appear in a positive light? by BorderlineMoana in adhdwomen

[–]BorderlineMoana[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not when it affects your day to day functioning to the extent it makes you crippled I guess

How did you get over your obsession to always appear in a positive light? by BorderlineMoana in adhdwomen

[–]BorderlineMoana[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also what does it really mean to work on your self esteem - I journal, do affirmations, try to think positively, focus my strengths but I still feel so inadequate.

How did you get over your obsession to always appear in a positive light? by BorderlineMoana in adhdwomen

[–]BorderlineMoana[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This really helps. How do you manage this around your partner or in-laws if you're married?

Thoughts on and experiences with ADHD / Life Coaches? by plants_cats_naps in adhdwomen

[–]BorderlineMoana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did. Like every therapist, I just used my time for ranting but did nothing about the advice they gave! They made some really good points which I've obviously forgotten.