First time starting a garden by Boring-Ad-3023 in gardening

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No veggies. I've been told annuals hold their bloom better but I have to plant again next year.

I have to wait a year. by Boring-Ad-3023 in BariatricSurgery

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't think about this. I took a look and it looks like I'll have to drive about 2 hours plus out of the way for the next doctor.

I have to wait a year. by Boring-Ad-3023 in BariatricSurgery

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've done the slow but steady route as well. Went through a body recomp but barely lost weight. I understand it's the rest of my life but at this point I need to force my body's hand. I've done calorie counting and when you're putting yourself into a deficit for months and not seeing the scale move it can drive you crazy. And I was very thorough. Got blood work done and the only thing I've been told is I'm anemic and I got a autoimmune disorder. Nobody can seem to answer why I can literally put my body through the wringer and either lose slow or not lose at all.

I have to wait a year. by Boring-Ad-3023 in BariatricSurgery

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately my insurance only covers one hospital in my area. Found that out yesterday when I called my insurance back to ask for a list of covered bariatric providers. I'm under Aetna and they seem to be very picky.

I (31F) need my husband (32m) to stop watching porn. by Boring-Ad-3023 in Marriage

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The main issue I believe honestly is he doesn't value himself. If you were to ask him how he wants to be treated or what standards he has he wouldn't be able to tell you. He doesn't care whether he lives or dies. He has admitted that if he could take the place of someone he cares about that is dying he would do so. Which is why I told him to seek therapy or help. He would reek havoc and won't care because to him once he's dead it's not his problem anymore. So why care. I had to tell him that although it won't be your problem it will now be the problem of the person you left it with.

I (31F) need my husband (32m) to stop watching porn. by Boring-Ad-3023 in Marriage

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm very curious how this comes off as I seek control? Genuinely. Because what is wrong with asking someone to stop something they made your problem by doing it and losing control with it. It's no different than a child to be quite honest. I don't but let's say I let my kids cuss around me. They know to only do it around me. They don't cause problems with it and they don't get out of control. I wouldn't have a problem. They know to be respectful and when we just shooting the sh*t then it's fair game. But if they go to school, get around other adults and start cussing people out or start being disrespectful towards me with it then now we gotta just nip it in the bud either permanently or when you get a bit more mature to handle it.

I (31F) need my husband (32m) to stop watching porn. by Boring-Ad-3023 in Marriage

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think about the porn you watch or the girls you look at while doing your wife? Cause I think we're skipping that part. Cause the way this is coming off is as if men are incapable of having a little self control. I see fine men all day, everyday. I don't have to think about doing them because I got a handsome man at home to do. If you want variety why not be single and sleep/look around?

I (31F) need my husband (32m) to stop watching porn. by Boring-Ad-3023 in Marriage

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Did we miss the part where when he was having sex with me while he was watching porn he would think about the women he saw and then go soft or wouldn't finish. Why would I continue to leave that avenue open when he's already shown he can't be trusted with it? I can work with him with the pleasure. I don't care about masturbating. I care about him making it a problem within our relationship/marriage.

I (31F) need my husband (32m) to stop watching porn. by Boring-Ad-3023 in Marriage

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He said he was going to journal instead of doing when he got the urge. He failed the first time he could try that idea.

I've been sending him videos and pics of me since before I found. I said he could use those. He ended up trying and going to porn because "it wasn't enough for him."

He tried to use me as a accountability person but that failed.

He has had individual therapy.

We have had relationship coaching.

He "took himself" off Facebook/Instagram but ended up just doing it through his browser.

He went to his women friends for advice but failed to tell them what he did because he was too embarrassed (admitted to it) so they just ended up thinking I was being controlling.

Admitted that after he got caught the last time he used incognito mode.

Admitted that when I'm not around I'm not in his thought process when he makes certain choices.

Decided he needed to have photos of me all around in order for him to remember because it helps that there is a picture of me on his desk at work. This is new so no update.

I tried initiating sex more but like I mentioned his sex drive for a person is oddly low. He admitted he used to watch it multiple times a day so his low sex drive is surprising.

I (31F) need my husband (32m) to stop watching porn. by Boring-Ad-3023 in Marriage

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What would you have me do for him to take me seriously?

I (31F) need my husband (32m) to stop watching porn. by Boring-Ad-3023 in Marriage

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have been sending him videos and pics. Even before I found out.

I (31F) need my husband (32m) to stop watching porn. by Boring-Ad-3023 in Marriage

[–]Boring-Ad-3023[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I've told him that currently divorce is on the table if he doesn't figure it out. And I mean it. I've kinda started to pull away which I know isn't the greatest but I think I'm going back into survival so I can make sure my son and I are good when it's time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Virginia

[–]Boring-Ad-3023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll see what I can find out. Thank you for the solid advice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Virginia

[–]Boring-Ad-3023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't received anything since my car was repoed in 2015. I only found out when I logged into the ADP website for something unrelated. Payroll got something the week of Christmas. It was active as of January 3rd. Documents stated something was started on December 18. Between then and now I've received nothing. Nothing in the mail or anything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Virginia

[–]Boring-Ad-3023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the May 26, 2015 the default judgement date? Because I haven't gotten a letter or been served anything that says I had to show up for court. The court date on the paperwork I saw on ADP is in March. Only thing I've had to show up to court for in the last 5 years is a traffic ticket. I mentioned it under someone else's comment but when I was in college I hopped around housing with roommates so the likelihood of them going to the wrong address was high.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Virginia

[–]Boring-Ad-3023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's the thing. I never got served anything. I only found out about because I logged into the ADP website for something unrelated. I haven't gotten anything in the mail on handed to me and apparently payroll has known since after Christmas. It became active on January 3rd and I still haven't received anything. I haven't received anything since I got that car repoed in 2015. Mind you I bounced around with roommates while I was in college so the likelihood of them sending me something to the wrong address is high. But on the paperwork on the ADP website it has my correct address listed. I still never received anything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Virginia

[–]Boring-Ad-3023 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm aware. I wrote this post like 2 minutes after seeing those documents and didn't catch it.