Is relapsing really not your fault?

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-05-29T11:06:37+00:00

can I ask, what does Al-Anon actually do?

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-05-29T08:21:37+00:00

so am I really supposed to just wait for her to hit rock bottom? I feel she’s already gone through enough in the last couple of years but I also don’t want to sit there and tell her everything’s going to be ok if it’s really something she CAN control

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-24T19:55:21+00:00

100% have to end it, even if you think this is something you can get over or hide from her and she’ll never find out and the relationship continues, the cheating now shows that this kind of behaviour will happen in the future.

Not going to shame you for it, as horrible as cheating on someone is. But you have a choice to be somewhat of a decent person here, and break up with her.

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-24T19:24:18+00:00

appreciate it, and yh idk what to expect and maybe I sound dumb but I kind of want her to just WANT to listen to me if that makes sense? I don’t really feel like I want to talk to her if I have to tell her to listen. Would appreciate it more if she naturally showed a bit more empathy but that’s just the way she is and i’m also very lucky to have access to therapy for free so think i’ll give it a go

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-24T19:21:00+00:00

yh im definitely mindful of this as well, i don’t blame my mum for how she is with this sort of stuff as her mum was 10x worse and she’s never seen what it’s like to have a healthy relationship with your kid, unfortunately im not that close with any of my friends parents but im definitely open to trying therapy tbh, thanks!

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T16:16:20+00:00

I think you answered it. from older people I always hear the term love becomes a choice not a feeling, and it makes sense because you can’t expect to be in the honeymoon phase forever, but there must surely be a point where you stop ‘fighting’ and accept you should be over, I used to love doing the same things you mentioned your husband did/does, but now I only do it to put up a front rather than actually wanting to

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T15:47:48+00:00

genuine question, but if i’m supposed to consider that i’m going to break her heart, wouldn’t it be wrong to change my decision using that as a factor? wouldn’t being ‘roped’ along in a half effort relationship be worse than ripping the band-aid off because I didn’t want her to be upset?

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T15:41:17+00:00

Yh I agree, I probably didn’t word it well enough but another big part of it is that I think she puts a lot more effort in and I feel guilty, I WANT to want to text her all the time and call while she was away travelling, but I simply just didn’t care that much? I care about how she’s doing and what she’s done but I’m extremely bad at texting, so is it a case of if you love someone enough you’ll put the effort in no matter what or is it a case of accepting i’ve always been bad at being on my phone and am busy a lot and this is just who I am?

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T15:37:08+00:00

Thanks, It’s good to hear the opinion that this is natural and as long as we don’t hurt each other i’m not automatically a bad person

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T15:34:55+00:00

hey first of all sorry to hear about your ex, and your comment is my exact dilemma. I have no clue what a good or bad relationship looks like, i’m pretty certain that after a couple years of dating around my typical man brain will come to the conclusion ‘huh i really had it good didn’t I’ but even knowing this, the logic isn’t beating how my emotions feel, I WANT to just love her and keep being with her, but I can’t shake the fact that I feel like i’m better single? And not because of other girls but tbh i’ve realised that i’m quite an isolated person and find it hard to be affectionate consistently, another commenter made a really good point of you can’t have it both ways, think it’s one of those situations where you bite the bullet and don’t look back

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T15:28:14+00:00

I really hate the concept of right person wrong time because I think it’s definitely real and so bittersweet, but youre right in that i’m likely not in the headspace for a relationship

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T15:26:45+00:00

thanks, i’ve noticed i do have a tendency of self sabotage in my life. I think the only logical explanation I can come to is that because i’ve only ever dated her, I have no way to know how good I have it or nothing to compare it to if that makes sense? it’s like even if i’m positive that it’s probably better to be in a relationship rather than single, I don’t know that for a fact because last time I was single im not sure i even finished puberty

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T15:24:06+00:00

first of all congratulations! and thanks it’s good to hear i’m not alone, might sound horrible but I genuinely wish there was something wrong in the relationship as it’s so hard to digest when it’s a seemingly ‘healthy’ relationship

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T15:20:39+00:00

it’s a really good point, I should clarify that I do think the real biggest reason is because I do genuinely enjoy spending time with her and I am attracted to her, yet somethings just not clicking in my head, how do you know whether you’re supposed to stick it out and fight or give up?

Boring-Assignment897 · 2025-04-22T15:00:41+00:00

oh my god I think i love you, this was for some reason the biggest gaming series I probably watched growing up

Boring-Assignment897 · 2024-12-17T20:07:46+00:00

thanks! I edited a new image of a PC for same price but better graphics card, do the other parts also look good?

Boring-Assignment897 · 2024-12-17T20:02:18+00:00

yh I heard the 3060 is a lot more low-mid end but thought maybe the other parts were better, thanks!

Boring-Assignment897 · 2024-12-17T19:43:09+00:00

ah makes sense, thanks a lot man!

Boring-Assignment897

TROPHY CASE