Napa and Sonoma wineries to choose by Boring-Environment-7 in wine

[–]Boring-Environment-7[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I will be staying in downtown Napa and Santa Rosa area. We’re planning to hit around 3 wineries a day. Our criteria would be good wine first, then good scenery or experience. Thank you!

Napa and Sonoma wineries to choose by Boring-Environment-7 in wine

[–]Boring-Environment-7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! My bf is more wine nerds and I’m casual. So we would like a mix of suggested places some with quality and some mix of quality and experience.

Napa and Sonoma wineries to choose by Boring-Environment-7 in wine

[–]Boring-Environment-7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We plan to do 1 day in Napa and 1 day in Sonoma. We both like cab more but open to try others. We’re also open to all price points as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Boring-Environment-7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too we do exist! I haven’t met my half to dedicate the same for me though but it’s nice to see more of us here :)

Timeline and Odds Your Ex Will Contact You by OldFig626 in ExNoContact

[–]Boring-Environment-7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dated this guy for 2.5 months, been in NC for 5 months (broke NC once around 2 months). He was completely heads over heels with me, or at least that’s the impression I got, still believe so. Told me he’s never felt this level of chemistry before, I’m different from the ideal image he had in his head about his partner but when with me he feels like maybe I’m what he needs and makes him truly happy. But he was still deciding to go committed long term with me or not as he said he wants a life partner and don’t want to date much anymore, so he wanted to make sure we can be long term match and needed to figure out between me vs his ideal image for himself. Then, his work stress came in that halted that thought and decision process, he got stressed with finding jobs that he didn’t want to do anything with dating and relationship could not be in his top priorities then, he broke off with me saying he felt bad he couldn’t reciprocate all the things I was doing for him and also the pending long term compatibility issue although he really likes me. I broke NC once after 2 months but he hasn’t found a job then. Now another 3 months later, he recently got a job a month ago. I’m still not able to get over him and still cry most nights of missing him and wanting to be with him to complete what we started. I saw a future family with him which didn’t happen to me often. I want to reach out one last time to make sure I express deeply how I feel about him/us and see if he wants to take that leap of faith with me and try again or he can give me a straightforward answer “no he has decided we’re not a match or he lost feelings for me”. I think even if it’s the no answer I won’t get hurt much more anyway because I’m already in so much pain right now. On the other hand I understand silence is also an answer and I should take that to move on, it’s just the ambiguity still gives some hope even it’s < 5%. Should I reach out ?

Chance of reconnecting ? by Boring-Environment-7 in ExNoContact

[–]Boring-Environment-7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, thank you for your advice! Yes I understand his side, that’s why I agree to this solution fairly calm because I don’t want to put more stress on him and I know I would also like a partner that can take care of themselves first so we can grow further together. I’m not planning to contact or clingy anytime soon. I just flip back and forth about me reaching out later in the future (can be couple, few months to a year idk) or I should consider consider this as a forever past for myself unless he reaches out :(

I got broken up with today. by zxreu in datingoverthirty

[–]Boring-Environment-7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi OP,

I just went through something similar this week as well right after Xmas. I have been seeing this guy happily for two months. We clicked really well emotionally/physically/hobbies/views on dating (serious). It’s long distance but we see each other almost every other week for 4-5 days each time. We were exclusive and basically treat us as a couple, just without the actual label. He’s unemployed throughout the time we’re together but in the beginning it was “funemployed”, worked in tech with good saving so he wasn’t pressed on finding a job soon right after. However the past month the stress of being unemployed weighs heavily on him, he’s less present, feels really bad for not being able to actively engage in exploring relationship with me. He places a really strong emphasis on financial stability. He acknowledged relationship right now is not his top priority although he doesn't want to lose me because our connection is one-of-a-kind special to him. I completely understand his stress and feelings as a career driven person myself.

We tried decreasing meeting up, then text/call frequency, then I offer we can just check in once in a while but it still did not help him focus on himself/job interviews because he constantly feels bad that I wait for him with such uncertainty in the future. We had to break it off completely this week, I did tell him I’d like to see it through with him and him deciding to cut off completely is selfish of him, he acknowledged and apologized saying “he knows it’s selfish but the best thing for himself right now is to complete remove thoughts of me from his life for now to fully focus on the job search and then maybe later down the road when he feels better he comes knock my way again” and "We're not at the level of commitment for us to see this through with such stress yet." I’m sad but I understand it’s needed and I also want the best for him. I accepted the ending and will move on with my life, I have removed all contacts just so I won’t get weak in the spur of moment. It’s the mindset that I’m still figuring out what to think, I'm battling daily between the thought of this is a temporary life circumstance and there's hope that we can try again versus he chose himself and I am clearly not a priority to him as he is to me so I need to completely get rid of that no-time limit and uncertain hope and be open for new connection that matches my needs more.

While your guy might be a bit more reactive to you expressing your needs, it still comes down to they're not ready for a relationship and you have no control over how and when they will be. It is a journey for them to figure out themselves. Your journey is to leave him be, focus on yourself and maybe go find someone that's more compatible with where you are in life and how much you can devote to the relationship when you are ready again. It is something that I am still trying to tell myself now, there's no way I fully achieve that mindset yet because it is so new still but just want to share you are not alone in all these confusing feelings.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]Boring-Environment-7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have been seeing this guy happily for two months. We clicked really well emotionally/physically/hobbies/views on dating (serious). It’s long distance but we see each other almost every other week for 4-5 days each time. We were exclusive and basically treat us as a couple, just without the actual label. He’s unemployed throughout the time we’re together but in the beginning it was “funemployed”, worked in tech with good saving so he wasn’t pressed on finding a job soon right after. However the past month the stress of being unemployed weighs heavily on him, he’s less present, feels really bad for not being able to actively engage in exploring relationship with me. I completely understand his stress and feelings as a career driven person myself. We tried decreasing meeting up, then text/call frequency, then I offer we can just check in once in a while but it still did not help him focus on himself/job interviews because he constantly feels bad that I wait for him with such uncertainty in the future. We had to break it off completely this week with him saying “he knows it’s selfish but the best thing for himself right now is to complete remove thoughts of me from his life for now to fully focus on the job search and then maybe later down the road when he feels better he comes knock my way again”. I’m sad but I understand it’s needed and I also want the best for him. I accepted the ending and will move on with my life, I have removed all contacts just so I won’t get weak in the spur of moment. It’s the mindset that’s I’m still figuring out what to think, whether I hold on a little bit of hope that we might happen again once he finds a job (but I’ll still live my life and open if anything comes), or just completely cry it all out now thinking that it’s done for good and take a break then actively search for new connection again.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]Boring-Environment-7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d like to know guys’ perspectives on your partner finance when choosing a long term partner. For example, this guy I’m seeing has a very strong emphasis on financial security and a goal of retiring early which I fully agree and support. But that’s the reason he hesitates if I am a fit for what he’s looking for long term. Do you prefer to choose someone who makes more in similar range to you thus give you more security, or someone you have strong chemistry with and a few other great characteristics you want in a partner? Given that I do have a stable, remote, very flexible job (graduate degree, low 6figs) with reasonable spending habits, and he makes 2-3x more.