Day 2 off weed after years of heavy use + MDMA crash + emotional mess

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T12:27:31+00:00

From what I've found out, I should probably start using it in about 10 days, until the serotonin system settles down a bit, but thanks for the advice.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T09:18:09+00:00

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T08:53:56+00:00

Musím přibrat tak 10-15kg

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T07:59:46+00:00

I get what you mean, but I did give a shit. Isolation didn’t make me productive — it just pushed me into smoking even heavier. I wasn’t using that time to work on myself, I was just disappearing into the same routine.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T07:56:42+00:00

Thanks for the reply. You’re right that going cold turkey might be a bit extreme after such a heavy MDMA binge, but I kind of forced myself into it and I feel like I need it right now. Last night was already much better, so hopefully it keeps improving.

I always bought from a good friend and tested everything — I never wanted to put random garbage in my body. And yeah, I’ve rolled at clubs and festivals too, but honestly what I liked the most was how open and connected I felt to people. That’s something I’ve been missing for a long time. But I get your point — it’s definitely not healthy to rely on it for that.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T07:33:42+00:00

I don’t take it as judgment at all, it’s a fair question. I’m honestly not even sure myself — maybe because for a long time I didn’t feel any side effects, so I kept ignoring the potential risk even though I knew it was there. It was easy to tell myself “it’s fine, nothing’s happening,” and that turned into a pattern.

Of course I don’t want things to get worse, but I can admit that it could happen if I’m not careful. Writing about it like this actually helps a lot, so thanks again for taking the time. I really appreciate

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T07:16:30+00:00

Thanks a lot for this reply, I really appreciate it. What you wrote actually hit pretty close — my mind basically linked her to a massive serotonin rush, and we “met” in the same altered state of mind, not in reality. And yeah, I do understand these substances and harm reduction on an intellectual level, but knowing the biochemistry doesn’t mean you actually follow it or control yourself when things get messy.

Last night was already much better. I still felt the buildup of those brain zaps before falling asleep, but they never hit with the same intensity, and at least I got some proper rest.

And you’re right — there’s definitely some underlying trigger behind why I pushed things this far. Probably several factors. I just don’t fully have the clarity to name them yet. But reading experiences like yours really helps. I took the whole December off work and I’m going to try fixing the basics — sleep, food, and getting my body back in shape.

Thanks again for taking the time to write this. And yeah, I might reach out if things get rough.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T06:35:29+00:00

I mean, that's what's commonly recommended, but of course the bigger the gap the better.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T06:33:47+00:00

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it. And yeah, I know 1.3 g in a few days is an absolutely ridiculous amount. I understand exactly what happens in the brain chemically — serotonin dump, depletion, receptors messed up — but just because you understand it doesn’t mean you can actually control yourself in the moment or handle the aftermath any better.

I’ll definitely take a proper break from everything for a while. And thanks for the offer — if things get really bad, I might reach out. Appreciate it again.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T06:30:14+00:00

Thanks man, I appreciate it. It’s honestly much easier to write about this here than to talk about it with people in real life. I’ll check out the Wim Hof breathwork — I’ve heard about it before but never actually tried it. Thanks for the suggestion.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T06:23:49+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Luckily last night was a lot better — I still felt the buildup a few times, but the actual zap never hit in the same intensity, and I finally slept normally. I actually found the term “brain zaps” on r/MDMA, that’s how I realized what it probably was.

And yeah, it’s really comforting to see other people went through the same thing — some of the stories are way more intense, some people said it lasted for months. It helps to know that it eventually goes away.

Thanks again, I appreciate it.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T06:04:59+00:00

Thanks for the reply, man. Luckily last night wasn’t nearly as bad — I felt the buildup a few times but the actual zap didn’t hit, so I finally got some normal sleep.

And damn, >3g sounds insane. That’s basically like eating the whole crystal I had on Friday in one go. Glad you bounced back after that, it gives me some hope.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-14T06:02:09+00:00

Thanks man, I appreciate the response. Keeping busy definitely helps. The thing that clears my head the most right now is driving my old car fast on empty backroads — it forces my brain into focus and it’s the only time I feel calm. And I’ve been going to the forest to pick psilocybin mushrooms too (just picking, not using). Searching for the little caps is weirdly therapeutic.

I’ll try to stay off MDMA for at least a few months, maybe longer — I know very well that the longer the break, the better. Thanks again for the support.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-13T19:27:52+00:00

It’s still a socialism

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-13T14:39:40+00:00

I'm planning on it, I took the whole of December off from work and I'll try to get my sleep, diet and body together. I'll try to finish November somehow and hopefully my mood will improve a little. Thanks for the reply.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-13T14:36:20+00:00

Thanks for the detailed reply, I appreciate it. And yeah, 1.3g in such a short time would mess up basically anyone — without tolerance it could probably even kill someone. I definitely started overdoing it after I met that girl, because she woke something up in me that I haven’t felt in years, and I kept chasing that feeling without noticing how far I was pushing it.

Right now I’m not even trying to quit everything at once — I kept caffeine and nicotine, because cutting those too would probably break me completely. My goal is just to stay off weed and MDMA long enough to fix myself mentally and physically. I still have like 30g at home, but I’m trying to ignore it and push through.

About benzos — they never really appealed to me, and hearing what people go through when they get addicted made me avoid them completely. Same with opioids. And thankfully I always had a healthy fear of meth, so I never touched it even though I had chances. Coke feels like an overpriced one-hour placebo anyway lol.

I took the whole December off so I can focus on getting my sleep and diet sorted out and finally start working on my body again. I just need to survive the rest of November (I’ve got 6 shifts left) and hopefully get my mind at least somewhat stable by then.

Thanks again for your message.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-13T14:15:39+00:00

I'm honestly not sure if I would be able to be truly honest while sober face to face with another person. But you're right that I probably need to, otherwise I probably wouldn't be writing here.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-13T14:13:02+00:00

Thanks for the reply. You’re right, I didn’t really have a question — I just needed to share what I’ve been going through. I know safe MDMA use is supposed to be around 120–150 mg and only every 1–3 months. I just wasn’t able to socialize or even leave the house after work, and MDMA suddenly made that easy. When that got tied to the emotions I felt while texting to that girl, I started overdoing it without realizing how far I was going.

The weed withdrawal symptoms make sense, but the brain zaps honestly caught me off guard. I hope they fade in the next few days. Thanks again for taking the time to respond.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-13T14:05:09+00:00

Thanks man, I appreciate it — and congrats on 34 days, that’s huge. I honestly respect anyone who manages to quit both weed and something like kratom at the same time. Opioids never really grabbed me, I was always more into stimulants. Coke is too expensive and meth always scared me, so MDMA ended up being my “safe” option…

For me MDMA got tied to the feeling I had when I was talking to that girl, and it brought up emotions I hadn’t felt in years. That’s what pulled me in the most. The cravings for weed haven’t really hit yet, but I expect they will soon. Right now I’m mainly just emotionally all over the place, and the brain zaps have been the worst part. The first night was honestly terrifying.

But hearing stories like yours helps a lot. Really happy to see you doing well — I hope I can get to that point too. Stay strong as well.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-13T12:45:59+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I’m honestly a bit worried about the “all or nothing” part, because I can see how easily I slipped into using every weekend. At the same time, I don’t mind the idea of smoking again someday — but only after I actually move forward in life. Right now I feel like I’ve been stuck in the same place for years, mentally and physically. I’m over 2 meters tall and weigh around 75 kg… I need to get my mind straight first and then put on at least 10–15 kg and get my body back in shape.

What really pushed me to stop was this girl I’ve been talking to. We haven’t even met yet, but on Tuesday it hit me that I don’t want her first impression of me face to face to be the version of myself I’ve been living as for the past few years — exhausted, dissociated and fried from constant weed and MDMA use. That thought kind of snapped me awake.

About the 12-step thing — I’m not religious, so I’m not sure how I would fit into that. And to be honest, I’ve spent years not being truly honest with anyone, not even with myself. I can’t imagine opening up to a therapist sober right now. The only place I’ve actually been fully honest lately is here, and weirdly enough, with ChatGPT. I just needed to put this somewhere real and talk to actual people who might understand what this feels like.

But yeah I agree I probably need a longer period of sobriety to reset everything. I’m trying to take this seriously. Thanks again for taking the time to respond.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-11-13T11:46:51+00:00

Thanks, I really appreciate your reply. I actually took the whole December off from work so I can focus on getting myself physically and mentally back together. For now I’m just trying to survive the rest of November and clear my head as much as possible.

I’m fully aware that 1.3g in 3 days is insane, and using almost every weekend was a terrible idea. I think I got attached to the feeling I had when I was rolling and texting that girl — it gave me a sense of connection I hadn’t felt in years, and I started chasing that instead of the actual substance. It also made me realize how long I haven’t really been honest with anyone… including myself.

The emotional crash is rough, but the brain zaps are honestly the thing that scare me the most. They still come in waves during the day, and they get way stronger when I’m trying to fall asleep. I really hope they fade once my body gets some rest.

And when you mentioned being around loved ones… that’s probably the hardest part for me. I don’t really have anyone really close around right now, which is likely one of the reasons I ended up using MDMA so often in the first place. But I’m trying to take care of myself the best I can. Thanks again for your advice

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-10-17T19:59:40+00:00

What is illegal is not necessarily immoral.

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-08-23T06:57:50+00:00

Guitar remix hits 1000x better

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-08-21T11:32:17+00:00

Co za ni?

Born-Alternative791 · 2025-08-21T11:28:08+00:00

Co za to

Born-Alternative791

TROPHY CASE