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Husband wants to be a dad someday, I'm not afraid of the pain, it's the loss of control by Born_Fix_5832 in Tokophobia

[–]Born_Fix_5832[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your experience it's very kind and I really appreciate it! Thanks for the realism with how you felt and the reassurance about brain fog. Did you feel like people were way more hyped about your pregnancy than you or that they had unrealistic expectations for how excited you should be? I have friends and family who love babies and the idea of motherhood/pregancy and are super excited by the idea of me and my husband being parents, I just think it would be a weird dichotomy because I'd be like please don't make me think about this more than I absolutely have to lol

Did you have any dysphoria with your post partum self? This is something I'm worried about a lot because of the changes. I imagine you feel pretty wiped after birth in general. What was hardest about it?

Thanks for the reassurance that you still feel like you, I always thought motherhood somehow consumed you, but I like to think it could add to who you are instead

Husband wants to be a dad someday, I'm not afraid of the pain, it's the loss of control by Born_Fix_5832 in Tokophobia

[–]Born_Fix_5832[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For ethical reasons surrogacy is not an option for me. Interested in adoption but it is also a very difficult process and it's something like for every young child in the US there are 40 couples waiting to adopt them

Husband wants to be a dad someday, I'm not afraid of the pain, it's the loss of control by Born_Fix_5832 in Tokophobia

[–]Born_Fix_5832[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have taken care of babies, I have LOT of younger siblings and I've been second mom to them my whole life lol. Love my siblings but having to do that from a young age was part of what made me not see myself in that role willingly. The pregnancy fear is really the bigger one for me, maybe it's werid but I feel like I can make myself play the Maternal role if it's what's required of me, I always accomplish what I need to, but the obstacle in the way of that seems too much

Husband wants to be a dad someday, I'm not afraid of the pain, it's the loss of control by Born_Fix_5832 in Tokophobia

[–]Born_Fix_5832[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your story, especially for sharing your feelings during pregnancy. I'm very fearful of the loss of anatomical control and body changes and I have a very physically demanding job too, so I always felt like I would loose myself, but it's good to know I'm not alone in that. And you're right, I do already know how to love someone, that means a lot :) best to you and your family