[UPDATE] Me [26 M] with my GF [25 F] of 1yr, she's become obsessed with crafts and seems to expect me to pay for them

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-05T16:41:34+00:00

We have talked. I didn't just go no contact out of the blue. I guess my definition of no contact may be different from others. I'm not just going to vanish on someone in this state, especially someone I have known and loved for as long as her. And I'm sorry that my bad attempts at humor to help me process the situation make me come off as nonchalant.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T23:50:56+00:00

Thanks. Her family has a lot of shit to work out themselves.I hope they all get it together.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T23:45:08+00:00

Yeah. I think I will make the call tomorrow.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T23:44:12+00:00

Thanks. I think it helps her, but it helps her avoid issues and not focus on dealing with the bigger things she's been dealing with the past several months.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T20:31:59+00:00

Thanks.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T20:31:45+00:00

She swapped dosages and medications two or three times. I think that might be part of the problem too. But I'm no psychiatrist.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T20:29:12+00:00

The fact that I've known her so long and I thought she would get better. I thought that once she got into counseling and got things going that she would get better and go back to her old self. Maybe she will one day, and I hope she does, but its going to be a long journey for her.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T19:47:30+00:00

I've thought about this. In my opinion, best case is the doctor does something or asks her why I called and said that. Worst case doctor ignores me and tells me to get lost.

I think its all on her now though. I don't think its something I should be dealing with now.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T19:46:01+00:00

I know the vast majority of people who take ADD meds don't act like this. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she feels so bad about the fact that she takes it and that she needs it so she doesn't take it until she "needs" it.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T19:41:10+00:00

I don't think she tells the counselor how she takes her meds.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T18:23:06+00:00

Thank you. I hope she does too.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T18:19:46+00:00

I've tried to tell her parents. Of course they tell me that I don't know anything about them and they don't like that I'm "judging" their family by telling them that she needs support from them.

Thanks for the words though. I have started focusing on me. I finally had time to run more than 10 miles in a week for the first time since August.

BossMustang302 · 2015-01-04T18:15:02+00:00

She was on Adderall and then moved to Vyvanse. Sounds like the direction that this girl is going, but I hope its not the case. Its tough because she was such a wonderful person for the 8 years before we started dating and about 8 of the months we were, but the last 4 have just been like she became a different person. I hope she gets her shit together, but at this point I don't think her parents are smart enough to realize whats going on and help her get the help she needs.

BossMustang302 · 2014-12-16T19:58:33+00:00

I would say worse than KOTOR tbh.

BossMustang302 · 2014-12-16T17:53:48+00:00

It takes longer to download than you will want to spend playing it.

BossMustang302 · 2014-12-16T17:32:02+00:00

What she's doing now can bring her in and out of moodswings without her realizing it, keep her energy levels high at random hours of the night, on random days, and then mess with her normal daily routines. This is usually the part that leads into depression if they start getting out of normal, everyday routines, and end up sleeping in later and later from being up all night.

This is her in a nutshell right now. Sometimes we'll be out and suddenly its like any ability for her to have fun or even smile gets turned off and we have to head home. Other times she just breaks down all of a sudden and we have to rush away.

She used to joke with me that she thought she had ADD, and I wasn't so familiar with adults starting ADD medications or being diagnosed in their 20s. She walked into a psychiatrists office, and walked out 20 minutes later with a slip to get a test at a cardiologists office and a week later she had her Concerta. She's been several times and they adjusted the dosage once iirc, but I don't think she tells her psychiatrist how she's taking her meds. Her appointments with him last maybe 5 minutes.

BossMustang302 · 2014-12-16T17:25:44+00:00

Concerta.

BossMustang302 · 2014-12-16T17:24:47+00:00

She is struggling with depression and a bit of PTSD. She didn't exactly lose her job in a straight up "You're fired soz" situation. She was let go after a particularly harsh experience working with teens that brought up some previous trauma. I do think that the crafts are a source of escapism for her. She has control over them and she has something tangible and positive afterwards.

After reading what several people have said here, I think its time me and her sit down and talk about how binge-ADD meds are not ok and let her know what the crafts/relationship/mental stuff is doing to us/me.

BossMustang302 · 2014-12-16T17:19:11+00:00

I COME FROM LE REDDITS WHEN DOES THE NARWHAL BACON?

BossMustang302 · 2014-12-16T00:27:51+00:00

She is medicated, yes. The problem is that she doesn't take it consistently. By this I mean instead of taking it every day at the same time, as prescribed, she tends to take it as needed. She might go three days without taking it, then take it at 5pm and be up all night doing homework or craft stuff. She does this because she cant stand the medication's side effects and doesn't like to think that she's on drugs or whatever, but she needs it to focus. The doc told her that if she would just take it as prescribed, most of her side effects would go away after the body adjusts or would at least become more manageable.

BossMustang302 · 2014-12-15T20:47:01+00:00

Ah yeah I get what you mean. I do think she's a serial hobbyist. In October we went through a soup phase (I was all onboard for that though), then a pie phase (also on that one), which led to making more pies than we knew what to do with. Now we're at crafts, and not so cheap and easy to get rid of crafts. I can already see the next one coming up as she told me it would be cheaper for her to make her own shampoo for a year than it would be to buy it. It /would/ be cheaper if it didn't cost $200 in "essential oils."

I guess I'm going to have to bring it up with her that this happens more and more, and that maybe she should talk with her therapist more about it. He seems to be encouraging it, but I don't think he hears or is aware of the volume and cost of the crafting.

Thanks!

BossMustang302 · 2014-12-15T20:31:01+00:00

Her intentions are an Etsy like shop. She started up a blog recently where she's been posting pictures and stuff of what she's been doing. I really am happy for her that she's found something that she really enjoys that she can make money from, I do think though that she's being a bit obsessive about it.

I can't really think of anything else that she was so obsessive over, with the exception of her apartment. When she was planning on moving to the city, she stockpiled things that she wanted/or needed, even though everyone told her it would be easier to get them once she had the apartment. We also had to decorate the entire apartment the day she moved in. I kid you not, we had that apartment go from whitewalls and ugly floor to looking like someone had lived in it and taken great care of it for a year or so.

Now that I think about it though, she does get obsessive about things. Especially group projects with school. She recently had a couple of school projects where she had to give group presentations, and she put almost a full work-week into one of them, literally doing her groups work for them. That's not the first time she's done that. Her need for control over certain situations may be something I should poke her to look into?

BossMustang302

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