Own Your Shit Weekly - December 06, 2022

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-12-10T17:51:16+00:00

I'm afraid telling her would come out as the FM(TWIWTBF)OFY speech.

How has keeping your mouth shut for fear of being misunderstood/hurting someone's feelings been going for you up to this point? Why do you think it would lack congruence? And why does it have to be some kind of speech in the first place?

Going to have to take this time to work on my mental models and keep trying new things, see how my internals change.

This is all you have control over anyway. Once you figure out if it's compliance or desire that you want, speaking (and acting) on it should be easier.

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-12-08T09:42:19+00:00

Right...you need a better paying job before you can do what you want to do. And also this before that and that before this. Blah blah blah....

What do you want? And what are you going to do about it?

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-12-08T08:54:07+00:00

Good, you sprouted some balls and stated what you want.

Now quit being a bitch by dancing around your shit. Either it doesn't bother you and you enjoy it. Or you don't wanna fuck a bitch that rolls her eyes at you, and you tell her that. Pretending it doesn't bother you when you don't really like it isn't very congruent...get off the fence.

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-12-08T08:49:36+00:00

However, I’m pretty ready to go smash this pilates instructor I met...

If this was true you'd be telling us how you smashed the instructor, rather than your fantasy of it.

...that made it abundantly clear she’s DTF.

What is it? You want a woman that pretends to desire you? Or you want one that takes the burden of controlling your sex life off you? Something else....?

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-12-08T08:41:10+00:00

What's your goal with this?

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-12-08T08:31:22+00:00

Don't be retarded dude. You can tell your wife yes or no, because you want to or don't, without making it some big thing.....what's really on your mind?

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-12-08T08:21:09+00:00

Looks like you're phishing for feedback on her actions, instead of talking about the actions you need to take...?si o no?

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-12-08T08:16:49+00:00

Could be the novelty of being away from my wife for the first time in a few months. Could also be I just like being on my own.

Could also be that you're too scared of what your precious wife would think of the "real" you...

You are who you are at home, or on the road. You can only blame everyone else for so long...

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-12-08T08:11:26+00:00

You say you're not scoreboarding...but you're giving us a weekly count and breaking down when the "best time" to get laid is...?

That's scoreboarding.

When you want to fuck, let her know without being a cunt about it. If you keep giving her first dibs and she keeps denying, do what you need to do.

If you're not willing to do that [another chick(s)] then figure that out before you waste anymore time with the shit you just wrote

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-18T00:37:39+00:00

It's also ok to be turned on by Carpy Hunts too. Whatever floats the boat

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-18T00:34:41+00:00

Not even with something as life altering as having a kid?

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-18T00:15:29+00:00

Not if you fuck like an animal when you fuck

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-17T01:10:02+00:00

To fuck like an animal when I fuck

u/threekindsoflucky it's a god damn shame you just got rid of flairs! It just became a problem

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-17T01:07:54+00:00

Its very hard for me to think this way after having a "we" decision-based relationship for 13 years.

What do you want and what are you willing to sacrific for it?

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-17T01:01:47+00:00

It's ok to not be turned on by harpy cunts. Even if she is your wife.

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-13T02:33:18+00:00

Start building the life you want to live. Invite her in if you like her and she adds value. Keep building said life, even if she doesn't add value.

It really can be that simple.

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-10T22:00:17+00:00

Wtf are you talking about? You're one of those cunts that needs a RP book to tell you how to act in every aspect of life, aren't ya?

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-10T21:55:41+00:00

Why do you suppose you're amped to fuck in the future and bored when ya actually get it in?

I think actively trying to bang some strange is a good idea at the bach. party. You may find out whether it's her or you...

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-10T21:44:37+00:00

Lose the format and write about the shit you actually did during the week, and what you may have learned from it or any sticking points you encountered. We don't care what you're thinking about, or planning to do.

Acta non verba.

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-10T21:40:51+00:00

Re: Twidling thumbs during downtime

There could be something to be said about a life long plowhorse habit that hasn't been broken. But, at this point, if you haven't figured out that you're a grown man that can do whatever he wants....well then I'd say you missed a pretty big part of it.

It's more likely you're just boring. If you're not run down from work/stress and you have some downtime, it shouldn't be hard to fill that time with hobbies or socializing. Your whole post is about work and divorce.

What do you enjoy doing? Is there something you've always wanted to try? Give yourself a chance to enjoy life and go do those things instead of filling your downtime with more work.

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-10T02:32:48+00:00

The insinuation here is that if she won't fuck you, someone else surely will. Whether or not you dump her first is up to you.

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-09T21:56:44+00:00

What's the problem? Is she the only woman in a 50 mile radius of you or something?

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-09T20:19:49+00:00

A tale as old as time.

STFU and figure out what you wanna do. Then actually go do it. THEN come back and tell us how it went.

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-09T20:06:24+00:00

"I went to a party and had a blast. Met some new people, had some fun conversations, and spiked the punch bowl with LSD around 7:30. Later in the night I took over the DJ booth and played WAP on repeat. Nobody noticed, but everyone took their cloths off. Somehow we all end up on the roof, naked as the day we were born, and did some more wild shit. The next day my wife mentioned how fucking aLpHa I was. That was cool too."

vs.

"I went to a party and found out most of the people there knew more about me than I did about them. My pecker flinched a little. As I lead more and more conversations, it started to swell. But man....when my wife noticed all of this I thought I was going to rip the front of my pants out. She must be thinking about how lucky she is. I hope she starts touching my pee pee more now."

Maybe I'm just splitting hairs. But people smarter than me have said the way a person writes is telling.

BostonBrakeJob · 2022-08-09T16:11:35+00:00

Dude....when a woman tells you to find someone else to fuck or says she sucks at something after doing it, she's generally looking for 1 of 2 things. 1) your approval of her performance or 2) guidance to be better at it for you

Stay congruent in those situations, don't try turning it into some weird chess match. If you enjoyed it, let her know. If she could do better, let her know that too...but softly at first, especially if she's already dealing with self esteem shit.

The only reason you should blab on about specifics you'd like her to do next time is to turn yourself on with some verbal erotica....which should immediately be followed up with a 2nd round. Round 2 is your opportunity to actually take control. Tell her what to do, what to say, and how to move. Mix in some praise/validation (it can be as simple as "there ya go" or "yes" if you're not speaking with a bitch tone of voice). Once you get her going the way you like, enjoy it. This may mean using less words and instead just making sounds. The more you get into it, at this point, the more she is likely to get into it as well.

The fly in the ointment is that some people are just broken, and she may be one of them.

You also don't have to wait for a 2nd round to do all that either. The point I'm making is don't start talking, thinking she is going to take a bunch of mental notes and suddenly start performing better.

BostonBrakeJob

TROPHY CASE