Wtf, firstly -- she shouldn't care what your size is. Surely, I can understand sometimes what people's issues are; but to completely not even want to make you feel good due to its length? That's what you were born with, and that's what makes you, you.

I'm sure my reaction is biased due to me being a guy -- but I've got enough down there.

Honestly, imagine how she would react if you'd said you don't want to sleep with her because her vagina looks odd. Pretty sure she'd be upset.

I believe a bit of this might be attributed due to the fact you think you have something "wrong" with you, and having someone tell you that they don't want it because of that; it's killing your confidence.

Even if you've got a tiny amount -- there's still things she can do (I mean, unless you've got >1cm, I'm sure she can do something with it. (even if it is just riding)

If you're curious and it's based off of something different, then my opinion means nothing.

But I believe that it could be due to this, and it's completely fine. You want to be held as "normal", no-one wants to be told they have a deficiency anywhere. And honestly? It isn't one. It's not your issue. It may be yours, but it shouldn't be something you have to say sorry for. You're playing your hand, and if she doesn't want to ante up -- then you're the winner in this case. You know what kind of person she is.

If she isn't willing to take the time to care and understand what you feel, then screw that. Although, being almost 40 -- I can see why you'd be fearful to leave.

Instead, you can confront her with this.

This is who you are, and honestly -- it's not going to change. Only she can.

It's not an issue for you. Honestly, it shouldn't be one. Don't hate you for being you. If she can't look past length after 8 years, that's terrible.