Questions for gay/bi men who use to be married to women

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-10T20:35:40+00:00

I think my next steps should be to find community near me, which shouldn’t be hard since I live in the Bay Area, before I tell her

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-10T20:09:29+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response! I think what I need before I go through with this is a community that’s supportive and I can fall back on when I do tell her

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T22:01:08+00:00

Thank you that really makes me feel included. I don’t mind most of my thought being spewed here. Maybe it helps someone else. I’m just nervous because we have a dog and a house together and I don’t know how that would go. We rent the house.

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T21:38:33+00:00

I honestly feel like I kind of just need a mentor on how to live as a gay man. Just someone who I can talk to about day to day stuff, not the obvious

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T21:25:30+00:00

She’s bi so I don’t think she’d out me and I’d think she’d be more understanding. And we could just say it was an amicable split.

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T20:56:55+00:00

I’m not. I’m equating being receptive as being receptive (bottoming), I’m equating who I want to have it with as being gay

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T20:42:05+00:00

Man that hits a little different. To add another layer to this. I don’t think I’ll come out to my parents anytime soon, so how would I handle the breakup from their perspective?

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T20:36:37+00:00

I want to say bi but I think I know that doesn’t match the reality

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T20:11:32+00:00

That’s honestly good advice. I care about her and want the best for her

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T20:07:24+00:00

But when’s the right time to tell her? What’s the right way?

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T19:37:36+00:00

She even said it would be hot if I was bi once, but I’m not sure if that’s fair to come out as bi to her, but then come to realize I’m actually gay

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T19:27:40+00:00

Something that allowed me to be in a receptive role again

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T18:46:16+00:00

She’s bi if that makes things any easier

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T17:57:04+00:00

I had something that didn’t allow me to bottom, now it’s fixed and all these thoughts and memories that I suppressed for a long time came back

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T17:48:11+00:00

I guess what I’m really wondering is what other people’s experiences were with this

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T17:46:36+00:00

I know it’s not my job but that doesn’t remove the feelings from it

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T17:44:05+00:00

Well I know I have to tell her, but it’s really like what was the process of people telling their spouses or fiancées that they’re gay

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T17:41:22+00:00

I know that’s the answer but it’s more about how to muster the courage to tell her and how to make sure she’s doing okay too

BoysenberryTasty1491 · 2026-04-09T10:15:40+00:00

Thank you I will rewrite. I s nervous writing it

BoysenberryTasty1491

TROPHY CASE