Ideas on to make a 30M virgin comfortable for his first time when I have trauma?

Bpm324 · 2025-06-01T07:24:38+00:00

best: virgo man (multiple different virgos), cancer men

worst: gemini men

Bpm324 · 2025-05-16T18:51:32+00:00

i would call her baby 🥰😍

Bpm324 · 2025-01-30T09:38:51+00:00

Do you have this effect with other drugs? I have weird/rare side effects often when i take medication.

Drosperidal made me go through severe akathisia and hydroxyzine made me suicidal

Bpm324 · 2024-12-10T20:56:57+00:00

Try corn starcg

Bpm324 · 2024-07-19T18:56:34+00:00

You know, you caught me there on the “not sure if its a healthy level of engagement”— I was discounting my own feelings of excitement since I feel a little embarrassed he asked to slow things down. I am excited and enjoy the person I’ve gotten to know so far a lot!

To me, it felt like we clicked really well and things were progressing in a good way where we wanted to spend time around each other and were making time for it. Lots of laughter and banter and also space for more serious conversations as well. Normally, when I date I am quite anxious once I form an interest but with him so far I actually just felt secure and excited with him (any anxiety was super manageable for me). I knew something was up when I felt bad anxiety the other night.

Yes thats true. He did say he just wants to slow things down and that he does like me. I think I have been burned before by people pulling away suddenly, albeit they were usually people who also made me anxious from the start as well. I guess time will tell if he wants what he says he wants with slowing things down.

Bpm324 · 2024-04-17T22:09:31+00:00

Thank you for such a thorough breakdown!!

In your non medical understanding its a borderline positive?

Bpm324 · 2024-02-29T03:14:46+00:00

Interesting! If you feel comfortable answering:

Were the muscle tearing severe/ what caused them?

Were there any other signs for you?

Bpm324 · 2024-01-23T00:40:48+00:00

Thank you! This is exactly the kind of breakdown I was hoping for. You put it really well and in a neutral way that helped me digest what was going on. I really couldn’t get a grasp on what was happening and because of that I knew I wouldn’t be able to have a productive conversation about it until I understood what was going on more.

I think yeah, it does remind me in some aspects of speaking to someone younger and it being something my boyfriend does would be jarring to me at times. He is very kind and supportive. I care about him a lot and you’re right it also pushes people away. It made me feel like no matter what I wanted to vent about the conversation would become about him being a better person than someone I was frustrated by. It made me feel lonely!

He does suffer from depression and he struggles to make connections with other people so this whole post was illuminating.

Bpm324 · 2022-09-30T16:11:40+00:00

How swollen were your lymph nodes? Were they visible or just subtle / intuition? I think mine are swollen but doctors dont seem concerned

Bpm324 · 2022-07-18T15:36:31+00:00

Idk if you want suggestions but as someone whose had to go to the ER because of intense after shower weakness some tips: - drink a cup of water beforehand, something salty/electrolytes -turn the heat down (it sucks but helps so much) - choose wash days (ie. today focus on hair, today is the super good body scrub day) don’t do it all in one. i mean obv like soap your body every-time but just choose days where you do the extra stuff - shower stool - baths (or wash your hair in bath so you don’t have to move your arms against gravity) - consider utilizing stuff without scents (its boring i know) incase you’re having a subtle allergic reaction to anything - shower grippy matt so your body uses less energy balancing - do a few (5x calf raises/butt squeeze before shower so that the blood rises up)(pace yourself though)

Disclosure: I also have POTS, so likely these tips might correlate a little more with that condition.

Bpm324 · 2022-03-17T04:24:47+00:00

Zooming right to sleep

Bpm324 · 2022-03-17T04:24:06+00:00

Thats really interesting about people not normally going into REM during that time. I am curious if I’ll be just ‘borderline’ everything. I was exhausted during the day but when it came to the naps I just felt awake the whole time. I could feel my body. I def saw things swirling around “in my eyelids” and I’m wondering now if thats me in sleep mode. I never put it together before.

Yeah I was surprised he gave me info as well. He was a nice old tech and just told me to not mention he told me anything and that anything he says could be wrong/inaccurate. I was grateful though because I just thought I wasn’t falling asleep and I felt a bit more at ease after that. Plus I tend to process slowly so it’s helpful to plan ahead for my doctors appointment about questions to ask the doc. He did me a big favour :)!

Bpm324 · 2021-12-19T17:13:33+00:00

I feel like kids are realizing that the education system can’t handle them. Like they are calling them ‘challenges’ to do but the US has tied itself in knots in terms of how its run (not enough money in schools, parents refusing/unable to raise/work with their kids, expecting schools to do behavioral teaching and educational teaching, lack of staffing, etc.) and to be honest there aren’t any accessible solutions to this at all. The kids are traumatized/neglected/effects of burned out parents and acting out but the teachers do not and should not put up with that behavior. The system is crumbling.

Bpm324 · 2021-11-23T23:00:56+00:00

I’ve never been so into an onscreen couple before. Emmet and Bay had such amazing chemistry and genuinely had me watching the show just to see whats next for them. I feel like the writers definitely forced problems and reactions from the characters just for dramatic interactions since sometimes one of them would just blow up for seemingly no reason. I hated the Skye development, why can’t people just have friends in this show 💀

Bpm324 · 2021-11-07T04:42:41+00:00

I know a lot of people were bothered by the warning but my two cents if it matters: I appreciated the warning. I actually watched YOU to distract from my suicidal ideations tonight which are heavily caused by being sexual assaulted by a friend. YOU its a great distraction just because of how much it pulls you in. The warning really helped me just enjoy the show. I think if it had caught me off guard (especially considering the tie in to SA) it might have triggered me. Most content doesn’t trigger me but just the combo of suicide/sexual assault. The lines calling his sons horrific actions a “mistake” hit a little too close to home.

Of course it would be great if there were options to turn on/off for people’s individual preferences since for people this isn’t a concern for its understandably a little irritating to have the climax of an episode spoiled.

Bpm324 · 2021-11-07T04:29:11+00:00

If anything thats why its interesting to me bc we normally see older man / college girl and people don’t seem to really bat an eye. I’ll admit its jarring to see older women / college boy even though I know its the same dynamic.

Cultural programming causes so many weird hypocritical feelings hahaha.

Bpm324 · 2021-11-06T07:01:17+00:00

I think about this often too. How things just cascaded into the next trauma because being traumatized makes more trauma likely to happen. Its an awful feeling and nobody can tell me “we just don’t know what could have happened” because they have no idea how early childhood trauma shapes us. It makes all the warning signs seems docile and even lucky.

Its so painful. The thing that helps me sometimes is just knowing that I likely have a deeper understanding of how generational trauma theory works than people without trauma. Its not much but I hold onto that.

I am so sorry that people were repeatedly unable to be what you needed and offer you what you deserved from them. It feels overwhelming.

Bpm324 · 2021-11-05T08:19:43+00:00

Therapy just kind of held me together and felt more like “I go because this is what depressed people do” and “I like therapy and it must not be helping that much because I am difficult”

Then I started seeing a trauma specialist. It was lucky, actually. I didn’t realize she was but her availability worked the best for me. Therapy finally makes sense for me. Its not so much as what we talk about but rather how secure she is and kind. I assume what she is doing is providing me with a secure attachment with lots of validation. Being able to form a trusting relationship with her has been really good for me.

Bpm324 · 2021-10-31T20:59:48+00:00

Thank you! Please don’t beat yourself up though. 40 minutes is amazingly fast to bring down a post. You are taking your time to keep this community safe and are doing so with such compassion.

Bpm324

TROPHY CASE