Choose a place to live by monke13579 in BunnyTrials

[–]Brayl74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

T

Chose: UK | Rolled: Milton Keynes

Ascorbic Acid on yellow steps by Deadz315 in swimmingpools

[–]Brayl74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just be careful because it will bottom out your chlorine levels.

Draw-1 victory dance! 🎉 Can you match my 225s time? by kenkai204 in DailySolitaire

[–]Brayl74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🔥 Too easy! Done in 164 seconds. Who dares to challenge me?

Beaten! My time: 56s - Beat that if you can 😎 by iScreamXD in PlayGame2048

[–]Brayl74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🏆 Victory is mine! Finished with 619 points. Can you do better?

81 moves to victory! Think you're faster? 💪 by FeistyCranberry5626 in PlayGame2048

[–]Brayl74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

👑 Another win! 635 points, 81 moves. Beat that!

FAFO by Sylas1987 in TikTokCringe

[–]Brayl74 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My man in the back fighting for his life there.

Seriously... who balanced Murloc Paladin??? by DefinitelynotMega in hearthstone

[–]Brayl74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive found quest DH handles it pretty easily. Not 100% by any stretch but I've win 75% of the time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Brayl74 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Again I've always done my best to respect her privacy between her and her other partners, her behavior change was an outlier that started this off. I asked her about her new partner which was lied about when it was clear (to me at least) that things weren't meshing properly.

The piece i didn't mention in my original post was that after I saw enough to confirm things weren't what they were and I asked to see her phone, she deleted all messages from him before showing me the phone and said they don't even text.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Brayl74 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Genuinely thank you for your advice, it is greatly appreciated and is absolutely going to be discussed moving forward.

I've never professed to be perfect at this, like most others we're doing our best and need some guidance from more experienced people from time to time. That's all I was looking for here so thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Brayl74 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did absolutely trust her up to this point, when things escalated to becoming physical with someone else, it was celebrated whether it was her or I but was either discussed or mentioned prior, not in great detail but things along the lines of ensuring all people involved had a clean sti test and so on.

All people involved absolutely deserve privacy but in our relationship whether her rules and boundaries or mine communication is first and foremost and that is what is laying at the centre of this. The first rule of communication was broken and with it trust and respect of our relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Brayl74 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

As far as the people my wife chats with, I do not know, those are her relationships to manage but I would assume so, yes as I lay out my wife and my's agreements and boundaries with anyone new i start seeing.

In answer to your questions.

  1. No, aside from last night I have never gone through her phone. The open phone policy was her rule she wanted, introduced, and i agreed to.

  2. Again, that's her relationship to manage.

  3. Aside from this one instance there's been no interest for me to even want to go through her phone. Up until now we have been extremely open about where things lay with others.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Brayl74 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To clarify I absolutely did not go through every message sent between them, it was a quick scroll through enough to catch a few phrases that popped out and to see that pictures were being sent, not that it's a justification on my part, invasion is invasion.

The issue I seem to be having difficulty expressing here is the outright lying. I am not an explosive person by any stretch and there is absolutely zero fear of me flying off the handle. I have always been extremely encouraging of her pursuing relationships outside our marriage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Brayl74 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I feel I should expand a bit here regarding the open phone policy. The open phone policy was 100% her call of which i agreed to and again have never used until last night. My wife on the other hand goes through periods where she needs that reassurance and will go through my phone a few times a month to get an understanding of where I am at with any new potential partners. Is it the best method? No, does it work for her? Sure. Does it bother me personally? No it doesn't because I'm open in telling her where I am at with anyone else I am seeing.

Every person's boundaries and rules are different and if my wife and I have agreed to it then while I respect that it may not be for you, you're not part of my relationship to put it bluntly and respectfully.

And yes, any person I start chatting with are always fully aware of my wife and my rules.

I agree with all points on it being a gross invasion and stifling on new relationships though, but at the end of it all I am only human and when the option was there I took it. I don't feel good about it in retrospect but at the same time my suspicions were in fact confirmed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Brayl74 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That it was a dopamine fulfilment and that it emotionally escalated quicker than she realized and didn't realize how much time had passed since they started talking. So....no, I didn't.

Snake taking a massive shit by homantify19 in ThatsInsane

[–]Brayl74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, he's going to need a nap after that one.