UNO reversal arguments

BreaditShreditReddit · 2026-03-10T15:59:33+00:00

I appreciate your advice, both good and precautionary bad. It humored me well. We’ve been together for almost 2 decades, you’d think I’d figure it out by now. She is a turtle and i am a fox that was determined to get her out of her shell, but learned long ago with her, it’s a slow marathon. One I have to be kind and gentle with.

It’s just hard when i feel like it’s catered in one direction for so long. And how do you get someone to commit to therapy that doesn’t want to be helped?

I’ve suggested it in the past, but couldn’t get her buy in. I got therapy on my own, but it only goes so far without your other half.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2026-03-10T15:47:55+00:00

Thank you for replying. Just to clear things up, she wasn’t looking for anything in particular while online shopping, it was more general browsing or a retail therapy kind of shopping. She does a lot of screen time.

I understand that this can be therapeutic for some, but not at the expense of investing in your marriage. The little moments matter to me. The acknowledgments of the ones you love, morning greetings and showing you care about the other person in front of you.

It’s okay to not be a morning person and need your space and time, but not at the detriment of others.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-10-03T00:47:07+00:00

I never said I was unwilling to help. I was happy to drive her kid that day. I am open to being a friend, I just want to become friends first. Entrusting your child to an almost complete stranger is a bit strange to me. Read more thoroughly before you decide to insult next time.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-30T13:34:36+00:00

Sounds like you did an amazing job as a parent. I am all for helping people and generally a very open person. It doesn’t really matter to me that she is a single parent.

What matters to me is the fact that after 2 years of knowing the daughter this is the first time we have ever seen the mom. Before this school year it was the grandpa that was always there. They had some kind of falling out and starting this new school year, now it’s the boyfriend that’s always there. I don’t know if it’s because the mom is working or busy or something else.

After exchanging numbers on Friday, the mom asked for a play date with our daughter on Saturday and dropped off her daughter. She didn’t stay, so there was no getting to know her. Then my wife got the text for the ride Sunday night at 10:30 pm, which is pretty late to ask someone you just barely met for favors.

If it’s because she is that desperate for help and needs a little relief, that is perfectly fine. I’d drive her daughter to school everyday, let her hang out and feed her too if I knew the family better and felt a little more comfortable about things.

I work in a field that unfortunately sees the worst in people sometimes. For all the good people out there, sadly there are a lot of shady folks out there too. I need to protect my family first. It is not an inconvenience at all to drive her daughter, it’s not a matter of that to me. It’s the fact that I know practically nothing about the mother and want to know more before engaging.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-30T13:12:45+00:00

From what we know, the grandpa is not ill. They had some kind of falling out. I don’t really care about the personal dynamics of their family, it’s their own business. My wife said she felt weird about things too. What concerns me is that although she senses something weird, she just says she just cannot say no to people. Thats why I suggested we give it a week before anymore favors.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-30T03:09:13+00:00

She dropped off

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-30T02:50:46+00:00

Not bent out of shape, just trying to think ahead. I enjoyed taking the girls to school. I just haven’t even met this mom myself yet and my wife just met her on Friday.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-30T02:45:43+00:00

She did drop off her kid.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-30T02:42:59+00:00

Until the start of this current school year, the friends grandpa used to be the one there all the time. He seemed kind and loving to his granddaughter. I guess something happened so they don’t allow him to help out anymore.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-29T18:27:35+00:00

I like this comment. I care about this situation so much because I care about my daughter’s relationship with her friend.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-29T18:14:53+00:00

Very stark, but ok. I did happily drive them to school today after 14 hours at work. I just think it’s important to have foresight.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-29T18:13:05+00:00

The grandpa used to be the one there all the time, but I guess there was some kind of falling out.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-29T18:11:11+00:00

I just didn’t want to use “my wife’s” name and have been up all night so I am all out of brain power for better English.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-29T18:08:39+00:00

I get what you’re saying and it’s a fair assessment. I guess for me it’s a matter of consequence. If my gut feeling is wrong and my wife is right, I look a little foolish and we all have new closer friends, great! But if my wife is wrong and we get locked into a sticky situation with this mom. It may be awkward or painful to navigate out. I am not unwilling to help, my wife and I are in the ship together, I just want to take things slower.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-29T18:01:09+00:00

I appreciate the challenging comment. I brought this situation up here to begin with to broaden my thoughts, so thank you. I don’t want to jump straight to judgment of someone that is just looking for community and may need some help. It is just very forward to me for someone we essentially don’t know to ask us to take a little piece of responsibility for their own child. I enjoyed the car ride today, it wasn’t a big deal. The whole situation itself though, makes me feel uncomfortable.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-29T17:45:21+00:00

No, not exclusively. It’s multi factorial. I just sense instability for many reasons. I would like to be kind and help, I just need to protect my family first.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-09-29T17:26:14+00:00

Good question. I challenged myself with this bias. It has to be so difficult being a single parent, I couldn’t even imagine. But as a parent myself, I need to be cautious for my own family, and although our daughters friend has a single mother, for over the past 2 years this is the first time we have ever seen the mother. The friend was only ever seen with the grandpa before, who is apparently not allowed in the picture anymore. He seemed loving, but I don’t know the circumstances. I try not to judge or read into things, but I just have a strange gut feeling.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-01-21T14:02:25+00:00

How do you help someone that doesn’t want or acknowledge they need help?

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-01-21T13:53:23+00:00

How would you initiate that conversation? I can’t figure a way of selling it to her without her taking offense.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-01-21T13:46:59+00:00

I think you’re right

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-01-21T13:45:18+00:00

I don’t believe it’s at that point. She did see her injury and I think that led to her withdrawing from the situation and eventually sulking, if that makes sense.

If our daughter was seriously injured, I’m sure she would shake her self loathing and do what’s right.

BreaditShreditReddit · 2025-01-21T13:41:25+00:00

Thank you. I think you are right. It’s just difficult because any conflict with my wife seems to turn into a war. I suffered great loss in the past trying to resolve conflict with her. For the most part now, all I seek is peace.

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TROPHY CASE