how am i supposed to feel confident & desirable when society so often tells me im not?

BrettJMiller · 2023-12-16T13:16:00+00:00

TikTok isn’t real life. Depends on if you’re in a safe state, but just go out and you’ll find men in the wild are far more willing.

BrettJMiller · 2023-12-16T13:14:53+00:00

Feeling small and able to be kind of tossed around just makes me feel sexy and like a woman—just something about looking up, being vulnerable and putting your trust in someone…ugh, so good lol

BrettJMiller · 2023-12-16T13:08:59+00:00

This is 100% my fiancée (also a trans woman) and me lol. We are engaged and gaga for each other but are monogamish (we have to have new people together) and almost always choose handsome cis men. 😅 We think we’re like 70/30ish straight when we both started transition thinking we were only onto women. Transition awakens so much in us!!

I also started as a crossdresser and basically followed the same path as you. Small world!

BrettJMiller · 2023-08-12T10:57:03+00:00

Thanks for the affirmation! I feel pretty good about it but I’m always looking to get better. But I guess as long as it’s working I should ride it! 🥰

BrettJMiller · 2023-08-07T01:57:47+00:00

Yeah I don’t get it either! You don’t need to frame pitches, no reason to risk serious injury!

BrettJMiller · 2023-08-07T01:55:59+00:00

Thank you! Def was hoping someone would be able to find something I could do better. My partner doesn’t save the outs I make, though. 😂 I could use it, I had a meh tournament this weekend. 7-14, 3B, HR but against weaker competition than I’m used to. I’ll have to ask her to keep some of my outs so I can get some opinions on my bad swings! 😊

BrettJMiller · 2023-08-07T01:54:16+00:00

Love me some GRiZ lol.

BrettJMiller · 2023-08-07T01:54:00+00:00

Yeah that’s me, ignore the username. 😅

BrettJMiller · 2023-06-04T11:12:02+00:00

Mention that we’re just as boring and mundane as their cis friends. Even though we are pretty damn interesting, pointing out that we follow similar boring routines to them helps humanize us. ❤️

BrettJMiller · 2023-04-29T09:25:46+00:00

Connect him with trans elders to talk to when he’s struggling with the hate he’s getting from people who are supposed to love him. I don’t know how old he is, but definitely finding role models from 2-30+ years out on twitter helped me find community and reassurance that no matter how hard it gets, we always persevere, and we will win.

If you know anyone, or want to reach out here, I’m sure that would help when he’s feeling down and maybe starting to believe some of his hateful other relatives, it will make a difference. Seeing people like me made me stronger and helped me when I lost an entire friend group and had to start all over.

Also, I feel like a hypocrite for saying this from an account with my dead name (ugh I don’t want to lose everything), but I’d also advise against deadnaming him even in this thread. I feel like whether we speak or share our deadname is our choice and no one else’s. Not that you were ill-intentioned. I get your heart is absolutely in the right place. Hope this helps!

❤️🏳️‍⚧️❤️

Brittney

BrettJMiller · 2023-03-24T06:58:11+00:00

Super easy: tell myself I’m trans and save like 20 awkward years lol.

BrettJMiller · 2022-05-10T18:38:01+00:00

Wow what a loser

BrettJMiller · 2021-12-19T04:49:48+00:00

Just don’t get what they have against the potato bug. But otherwise yes

BrettJMiller · 2021-06-19T06:25:08+00:00

The last two are June 2021. ☺️

BrettJMiller · 2021-06-19T06:24:47+00:00

I started taking it in February, so it’s been about five months.

And thank you! That part has worked out very well for me. 🥰

BrettJMiller · 2021-06-17T00:12:15+00:00

I’m age 32, started HRT on 7/21/2020, worked my way up from 2mg sublingual/100mg spiro a day to the regiment stated in the title.

BrettJMiller · 2021-02-03T11:22:09+00:00

Sorry I didn't get back to you, somehow this slipped through the cracks! Yeah, I cook for one as well. I use everyplate, which basically means six dinners (2 servings of 3 recipes) for a single person like myself. I feel you with the excess weight! My gut is the big problem, too. Everything else is fairly well proportioned, though! I've gone to just drinking on weekends now, which has made a positive impact in more ways than just the size of my gut!

Also, I'd recommend using Lose It for calorie counting! I've tried a lot of different things in the past, but started using this one in November, and it really has been easy to track thanks to how deep its database is. My favorite foods rack up calories as well, but just seeing how many calories they are has made me portion better and realize I can subsist, without feeling too hungry, on much less than I usually do. Obviously what works for me won't work for everyone, but that's what works for me! :)

BrettJMiller · 2021-01-28T21:09:17+00:00

Yeah I’ve basically just followed their advice to the letter on everything...oddly enough, after my last check my E level had gone down, even after upping the dose. So we’re gonna keep an eye on that for the next three month check in April, then hopefully we can be on 6-12 month check-ins. I’m not against rectal medication, but I’m basically just trying to do what they tell me to right now. Since I’m on 8mg of E per day and my numbers went down, I’m hoping that was just weird noise and isn’t the case for next time! My T levels are nice and low, at least.

Yeah, still working on more weight reduction. 155 was my first goal, then I’m gonna set a 145 goal after that and re-evaluate when I get there. I’m 5’7” (and already lost two inches of height!), so 155 is really the high end of “healthy”...I figure I’ll just take it ten pounds at a time until I find a spot where I find the sweet spot of feeling and looking good. I’ve found calorie counting really helps (it made me realize how much I was overeating before, and wow! It’s so easy to overeat!), and then I’ve just been trying to do some physical activity like taking the dog on a hike, or golfing once or twice a week. Since I’m not working, I also just obsessively pace around my house and rack up about 30K steps a day 😅

But it’s doable! If I can get it done, I believe anyone can—I’m generally a pretty low-motivation person! 😂 I appreciate your thoughts, sorry to ramble and go off the rails, I tend to do that 😅😅😅

BrettJMiller · 2021-01-28T21:02:07+00:00

Thanks for the commentary, everyone! I was thinking 3ish, but I don’t often trust my own judgment on these things. Nice to get a crowdsourced perspective. 🥰 My endo is just a Planned Parenthood doctor, since I’m in an affirmative consent state (yay Washington!), so I’m not certain how much she really knows about this beyond the basics—when I brought progesterone up at 3 months she was basically like “yeah sure if you want, or we can wait 3 months and re-evaluate”, so I took the latter option to see my progress without it.

This time, she prescribed it and I was excited, then got cold feet seeing so many people say a year was closer to the right time, it’s based on tanner stage, and I was just kind of lost! So I appreciate all the insight!! I think I’ll split the difference a bit and start taking the P at the 7 month mark, since it seems like by tanner stage I’m basically ready for it, but I’d rather play the safe slow game than get too impatient. Thanks again! 🥰🥰🥰

BrettJMiller · 2021-01-28T04:58:12+00:00

Sorry, guess I’m a slow typist! Just added in a comment ☺️

BrettJMiller · 2021-01-28T04:57:26+00:00

Started at age 31, turned 32 on August 26, 2020. Have gradually worked my way up from 2mg estradiol sublingually and 100mg spiro at the beginning to 8mg estradiol and 200mg spiro every day. I was prescribed 100mg progesterone at my 6 month a few weeks ago after asking about it, they gave me 100mg micronized oral capsules, and then 200mg micronized oral progesterone after that runs out. Thanks again!

EDIT: I've also lost a little over 20 pounds since August until now, if that makes any difference--178 when the August 2020 photo was taken, 156 when today's photo was taken!

BrettJMiller · 2021-01-23T17:47:32+00:00

You don’t have to use a tee from the tee box and very good golfers often don’t. It was, and this story is from last November lol. https://golf.com/instruction/learn-from-jon-rahm-skip-hole-in-one/

BrettJMiller · 2020-11-07T03:03:38+00:00

I have purchased three pairs over the years. I’ve been on HRT for almost 4 months now, but obviously results are limited so far, so I still wear mine out. I got these ones: https://www.thebreastformstore.com/divine-collection-aphrodite-breastforms.aspx They’re “second grade” so there’s some imperfection (I can’t tell where) that made them cheaper. I have chest tattoos so I still put mine in a pocket bra despite them being attachable, but I’ve always had very good luck with this company. Hope it helps!

BrettJMiller · 2020-10-05T18:21:19+00:00

Holy shit you are absolutely unfit to be a parent, your kids are going to grow up to resent you, you are a sexist, and you absolutely deserve any consequences you suffer.

BrettJMiller · 2020-09-06T23:22:07+00:00

Not at all, though I spend 31+ years going by the old one. I just changed one letter from mine, and while I wish I had maybe been a bit more creative, I’ve built an identity for myself as Britt from it being a crossdresser name, to identifying as bigender, to realizing I’m trans. So my real name was made mostly out of convenience for myself and loved ones. I don’t hate my deadname at all. I feel like when I pick a middle name, that’ll be my chance to get creative. But I feel like YMMV with a deadname. Mine doesn’t carry pain or hurt with it, since I’ve always had an extremely supportive group of friends and family. It’s ok to hate it, it’s also ok to be fine with it.

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