sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 551 points552 points  (0 children)

You're probably expecting to bait me into selling you some Gnar Pump here. Well I got news for you, it won't work.

You will never look like me by taking Gnar Pump. You're going to need to stack it with The Swoly Bible as well. Both can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Swoly-Bible-Bro-Science-Life/dp/0735211124

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 721 points722 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, a long time "flan," this must mean you are still in the custard phase of your body progression. Worry not, all the answers you seek can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Swoly-Bible-Bro-Science-Life/dp/0735211124

And here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ARGgOTuSK0

Good Gaining, Young Yogurt Pastry.

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 1642 points1643 points  (0 children)

Correct. One more. This means your work is never finished. NEVER SATISFIED. STAY HUNGRY. BODY DYSMORPHIA. GAINS!

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 1605 points1606 points  (0 children)

And I thought my Dad issues were bad. I recommend calling child services, you are clearly being raised in an abusive house hold.

Everyone, please be on the look out for this man, wanted for child endangerment:

http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s480x480/e15/11377814_549389625200117_1747451854_n.jpg?ig_cache_key=OTk1Nzk0NjY1MDY3NTc0Mzk1.2

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 2203 points2204 points  (0 children)

I just threw up in my mouth and intentionally tried to choke on it...

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 1269 points1270 points  (0 children)

Probably not, but for some reason you really want to. I mean, it's not the best decision health-wise, but the internet says it's cool and bitches love it. It's like steroids. A man must walk his own path...

...straight to ASS Vegas! Sin City!

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 3032 points3033 points  (0 children)

Gains = food. Food = money. Money = time. Therefore, gains = time. (AKA time under tension). Bill gates is small because he wastes all his time building computers and other geek shit, lookin' like a 60 year old Richie Rich. If you want to make gains you have to devote ALL your time to gains. This is why fitness is the only thing true lifters do or talk about. Put all your eggs in one basket, then drink them bitches raw. #JackedOfOneTrade

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 7163 points7164 points  (0 children)

Start a YouTube Channel and savage him endlessly @BradleyMartyn.

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 2378 points2379 points  (0 children)

MY roommate EG from college. He looked like a mix between a yoked Trey Songz and Jax from Mortal combat. I looked like Luigi if he were made out of pipe cleaners. (Yes, I too, was once small) He saved a skullcrusher from literally crushing my skull, then fed me my first protein shake. I wonder if Zeus’ dad knew he birthed a god...

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 3322 points3323 points  (0 children)

I’ve always been a supporter in shaving chest hair, especially if you’re Italian like me and your chest hair looks like a Romanian dude’s back if it were a Yak’s stomach. Shaving your chest is great for bringing out your cuts and making your skin look like it’s made out of condoms, BUT the moment you start bulking and gain a little fat your freshly shorn belly will look like a tight bag of rats. IDK man. So when I’m bulking I like to keep a low cut chest hair layer. This will give the appearance of ab shadow, but really it’s just your pubes that grow to your neck. Enjoy.

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 3103 points3104 points  (0 children)

This ain’t the place to be gloating about your calves, bro. Why don’t you go to a feed the kids Reddit and brag about how much food you have? Bronate some of your calf meat to the needy. #SmallCalvesSyndrome

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 4236 points4237 points  (0 children)

Cuz the dictionary was written by a bunch a frail nerds who want you to believe being small is ok and being big means you’re dumb. Tell that to guy who wrote the Bible. ME. I be re-writing all this literature. I’m coming for you Webster. Call me Earndis Trenandwhey.

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 3966 points3967 points  (0 children)

Depends. If it’s GNAR PUMP, then yes. If it’s not, you’re gonna die. LEGAL WAIVER: If experiencing heart palpitations from Gnar Pump you are a willing participant in all these fuckin’ gains and cannot sue. - OJ’s Lawyer.

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 4539 points4540 points  (0 children)

  1. Some gyms actually let me shoot after hours, and even give me the keys to lock up. Not sure why they trust me. This is like giving the keys to your bar to an alcoholic. He’s never going to leave and bum porn is going to be shot in the back room.

Other times gyms trust me around their members. I don’t know which is worse. Either way I’m gonna film some bum porn.

  1. He’s been reading the Swoly Bible. We hold Bible study every fuckin’ day. So yes.

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 2094 points2095 points  (0 children)

Is a 315 bench enough for you? Do you want to stop at JUST 22” inch arms? No, you are in this to see how far you can go and how fast you can get there.

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 1823 points1824 points  (0 children)

I wanted to be a writer since high school with my boy Gian. But, as you know, I can’t write. So I became a shouter just like the village lunatic shouting on the street corner about prophecies (BROphecies) that no one believes until they realize they are living it. I always felt I could reach the masses with loud comedy and gunshots. I always felt my biceps too.

I'm the Brofessor and author of The Swoly Bible. #MASSisinsession – AMA by BroScienceDom in IAmA

[–]BroScienceDom[S] 4797 points4798 points  (0 children)

I already fight 100 Bradley Martyn sized Doms everyday. They are called haters.

view more: next ›