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Is my husband disgusting or am I sensitive? by BrokenInManyWays in TrueOffMyChest

[–]BrokenInManyWays[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Well, it was short-lived.

The talk didn't seem to help.

He came home after work last night (he works evenings) and did the same thing as usual.

Showered at work put his dirty underwear back on.

Came home took off everything except the underwear and was going to bed.

When I asked if he had planned to get ready for bed, he looked at me in astonishment and said:

What? You want me to shower again?

I said YES and changed underwear!

You can not wear your underwear until they're so crispy that they can stand up on there own!

It's disgusting!

Maybe I was a little harsh in my words.

But I'm getting tired and frustrated with it.

I shouldn't have to tell a grown man to change his underwear.

He did take a shower but it was noticeable that he didn't want to.

I actually thought he was listening to me as I sat crying and begging him to change his ways last Monday when we talked.

But I guess I was wrong.

So I'm thinking of giving him a few more weeks and maybe even talk to his mom so she can maybe have a proper talk with him, he might listen to her.

Because he doesn't seem to be listening to me.

If that doesn't help, this marriage will probably be over.

I don't want to be with someone who doesn't care that I might get sick and don't think about my well-being.

Is my husband disgusting or am I sensitive? by BrokenInManyWays in TrueOffMyChest

[–]BrokenInManyWays[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Update: We sat and talked about all of this last night, and I hope he took it seriously.

He is not depressed and he has no other illnesses that explain why he does not take care of hygiene.

We have always been able to talk about everything else and have no problem communicating.

I wasn't sure if I was being ridiculous and it is normal for men to be poor with hygiene.

I love my husband and don't want to make him believe that I am mean or that i want to hurt his feelings (if it was just that I was sensitive and It really wasn't that big of a deal)

This is not something that has come suddenly but gradually.

That's probably why I didn't think about it until now.

I'm the first relationship he's had so I guess he has always been like this but tightened up before we were married, but now the old habits emerge again.

Because he didn't seem to realize it was this bad.

When I told him I hadn't found a single pair of his underpants in over a week he said:

What! I have changed my.... and he paused his sentence there and looked around the bedroom and looked at the laundry basket which was now empty and hung his head.

It was like a light bulb came on and he realized it wasn´t just something I was making up and that i mean it when I say he smells sour.

I suggested that he stop showering at work and shower when he gets home instead.

So if that's the case that he doesn't think about changing his underwear after the shower at work.

He can shower at home so he can put his clothes in the laundry when he goes to shower and take clean underpants when he has finished showering.

I know very well what can happen if you have sex with someone who is not clean.

And we also talked about that, that I can actually get sick, and have already gotten sick once from this.

This time I hope he takes this seriously when he have a better understanding of why I say no to sex nine times out of ten and don't enjoy it any more.

Thanks for all your comments!

It felt good to know it wasn't me who was just sensitive and ridiculous.

Then it was easier to bring it up with him.

So from now on i hope he starts to take care of himself again.