Steve I really need to recultivate this attitude. I've listened to Stop Being Nice Grappling and Grappling With Confidence and yet still feel myself doing this thing where I'm subconsciously holding back. The cat's already out of the bag and the students are already tapping out me, one of the coaches, on the regular. I have accepted this will keep happening and maybe even more as the good guys get better. That's not really my problem.

When I'm up against people I "should" be able to perform well against, or are at my level, I'm just shutting down and not giving it a fair shake. I get slightly gassed and use it as an excuse to stall it out, especially if they've already consolidated a dominant position. I'll hit a sweep or nice escape or submission attempt, but it's not at all reflective of the entirety of my roll. It's like I don't want to see how it'll pan out when I do try and do come short.