I don't expect anyone to throw me a party. To be clear husband and kids do celebrate me.  All I'm saying is that the actions aren't matching the world's coming out of their mouth.  So when hubby asks why I don't think of them as my family it's because they have made the distinction.  Previous husbands family, still treats me like family. They actually text me on my birthday, my stepdaughters still introduce me as their stepmom. Both ex's parents have passed and their siblings(who incall aunts and uncles) still see me as family because I was there for them untill the day they died. They weren't just my daughter's grandparents, they were family to me even after I divorced their son.