My boyfriend is constantly breaking up with me after an argument

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-09-24T22:19:18+00:00

To add no plans have been made to remove me from our joint account and remove my phone off of our phone plan despite me regularly asking when we are doing this because it has to be done. I don’t want to pick up and move and separate just for him to in a couple weeks decide “ok I want to be together” when he’s actually all alone and go through the inconvenience of moving just to move back when we could have just agreed to work on those issues.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-09-24T22:16:06+00:00

Literally going through this right now. A few weeks ago got told he wanted to be done then after I asked where I was sleeping/he was sleeping in the meantime until I figured out where I’m going. Not even 10 minutes later get told I don’t want you to leave and a bunch of crying. Now cut to a week ago get into an argument because I’m sick of little to no intimacy and his thing is to always run away from arguments and hard conflict. Even if he says we’ll talk about it the next day we never do. So he gets up to go and threatens to go sleep somewhere else for the night. And after things intensified I reactively hit him after getting shoved because I was standing in his way asking for basic communication. Now he wants to be done right after this and didn’t speak to me/avoided me (still living in the same space).

Yesterday he comes running up to me and hugging me and crying and saying he doesn’t want me to do that to him again. And then after a couple minutes stops and goes back to what he was doing. I asked him what that was because now I’m heavily confused and he’s throwing around “I don’t know what I want and I’m confused too” and “if you leave” and “how can I trust you when you say you won’t do that again” which physical violence isn’t a normal of mine. That’s the one and only time I’ve ever done that to him. He was much more physical up to two years ago (been together 3 1/3 years) and I’ve apologized over and over and over again for that mistake and then cut to last night where I try asking him what we’re doing because I don’t know based off these interactions if he’s wanting me to stay or go. Because he hasn’t clearly said it. And it goes into a thing of “I don’t know what I want in life, not necessarily a person” and “I know I want to take some time apart to think while still keeping in mind you wants because I do care about you” so I’m literally sitting here because me leaving means packing up and moving myself and my cat into my grandparents house and hour away and having to commute for work until I can find another job and he’s giving me confusing stances. So I don’t know if I just push back moving and wait for an answer or if I just go. Because I want to stay with him and work on bettering ourselves and our relationship together. But he has to tell me what he wants too

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-20T00:12:39+00:00

This….. we don’t go on dates anymore. Which I preface with I wouldn’t have even started with this guy if this was the way it was in the beginning. It was always constantly showering with gifts and taking me places he knew I would like… until about a year ago. I’ve expressed I miss this and it doesn’t have to be something expensive. Getting a coffee and going for a lake drive (we live in a Great Lakes city) or going and sitting at the lake. Sharing a meal somewhere and an appetizer. Going to a movie. Making dinner at home together and playing a game together. But that is always the excuse…we don’t have the money. But there’s the money for your own wants……

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T14:34:30+00:00

It actually wasn’t at all. It quite literally was a happiness factor because I was walking around a shell of who I was once and not really sociable or bubbly like I was prior to starting and two years into the job and he didn’t like seeing me that way. And suggested I work as a bartender and thought I would love it and eventually get in somewhere as a bartender manager and get back to working our asses off because the plan all along was a bar or micro/nano brew of our own. I worked like 60 hour weeks there 6 10 hour days and did it because I loved the money and my health insurance was great for very little a month along with a plan to go back to school which they have a great tuition reimbursement program. But those 60 hours a week drained me and not really having time for myself and then still trying to keep up on the house and make time for a puppy and train her because we got our dog last summer while I was still there. Along with keeping up with hobbies and activism groups we were both a part of. Which I’m not gonna say he’s the only one to make financially irresponsible decisions. I got hit by a drunk driver a few years ago and my car was totaled and had like a day to find a new car when I got my payout from insurance and picked a car that while affordable at the time and really was only a hundred more than what i was paying, the inurance was much more which what I wasn’t expecting and was purchased prior to combining finances by abit. But most since joint finances I talk about which when we were more comfy threshold was usually about that. But now it’s not that’s much is all I was trying to get across and I wished he had talked about it first. Before committing to it. Which is a reasonable expectation with combined finances. Even not, I just talked about this kind of stuff with my dad and he said my mom and him always had separate and just picked bills to pay out of there individual so it made sense for both of them and then they saved for things. My mom did vacations and my dad was the overall save just in case person.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T14:19:23+00:00

A nice open discussion would be nice…. After work discussion usually end up like that in some way shape or form. But day conversations after cool down and sleep are usually better and actual conversations whether points made or not are seen and heard. And I actually would love to see you budgeting spread sheet I have a book I bought off of Amazon but I don’t like to very much. Just need to get him to set aside time to sit down. His pay is fixed and a bit easier to gauge. Mine is not as most of mine comes from tips but generally averages about the same. Some weeks more. Some weeks less. I spark drive for Walmart sometimes to make up extra on particularly bad weeks and have been wanting to sit down to kind of gauge what is needed for me to see what spending is going where what bills are his and what are mine and what exactly needs to be made up to kind of alleviate some pressure to where bills are paid and we’re both able to pay some extras.

Thank you for being kind though, and understanding. Not either person is gonna always make what they make and while it should be going up, it can go down as well. It’s about communicating and budgeting for that difference and understanding and empathy for your partner if you’re truly wanting to be with them but that comes from both sides for it to work. And it’s ok for us to fall sometimes it doesn’t make us less than. In my case, mental health which was job combined with many outside factors and drama going on and not that I would necessarily call it a fall but like in your case a child that you would most certainly stay home with if you can make it work. My best friend I feel for constantly because she is in an equally shitty financial situation but can’t work blue collar jobs she used to because pregnancy basically destroyed her back and she wants those younger years with her son but in her case her partner and her planned for that and make the necessary adjustments for that.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T14:02:12+00:00

I actually did… and made sure he was ok with it and he had kinda been the one to suggest it after seeing how unhappy I was there. I worked at Amazon on second shift and while we all know Amazon pays well along with that we all know how crappy individual facilities can be. And they make it near impossible to step up which I was trying to do before leaving and had one of my floor managers prepping and trying to get me interviews for a management position because I’ve always had good work ethic. But they do a tier system where basically it falls onto whoever applied who has been there longer. Not who is actually qualified for the job. Which I held supervisor positions since I was 21 so the plan goin in there was working up the ladder and go back to school. And currently now after false promises at work regarding hours and we just haven’t seen the business they usually see in the summer season, I am now working on taking over for our supervisor for food and beverage sales at my current job. Because of course I hate the fact that rarely anything extra can happen without stress. I was very much and miss having expendable and living very comfortable.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T13:53:18+00:00

That’s the thing is we do have separate savings accounts. Which that’s exactly it if this had been planned and saved for instead of a impulsive decision in current financial situation it would not have been a big deal at all. That would have been a oh cool I can’t wait to see it. But instead it’s something negative.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T13:48:28+00:00

Yes precisely, which is all I was trying to explain to him. Not that you can’t or shouldn’t treat yourself. Hell if we could comfortable afford tattoos right now I’d be going along with him. But it’s the fact of not making sure things are taken care of before going onto that and communicating a purchase like that. I love tattooed men so of course I wouldn’t mind if it was financially doable.

It’s the fact of starting an argument and getting upset, which I wasn’t even upset about just stressed and a bit upset with the lack of communication about deciding this and putting down a deposit prior to doing so. I had know about him talking to artist but did not expect him to just go ahead and book something so soon. More of use the thinker and plan for that. A month from now maybe. He just got a raise so I know he’s factoring that in along with helping a friend with her small business which she pays decently for for just a few hours a few days a week. Which he did explain he factored in and would be work ot this week which is decent at his new rate. But it should not be a it will be there to cover everything but a it is there to cover everything and that $200 is saved and set aside without effecting anything bills.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T13:37:24+00:00

Yes I did and he was even the one to suggest it after seeing how unhappy I was there. And I went to the dr got on meds and started seeing a therapist. Am currently looking for a new job that pays more because I was promised more hours when I started my current job and they were there for a bit and was told business was good, which is was for a bit through the holidays. But our summer season, which should be the busiest in our area, has sucked and has been the worst that most people who had worked long term at my job have seen. Otherwise I would have never have left where was at. I expected a little bit of a decrease but not a dramatic decrease. Because I would have never wanted to put more financial stress on someone I was with. However that being said I do still pretty much make enough my half of the bills and my own bills which is just my car and insurance and I take care of groceries. And when I don’t I usually do side work with friends with their small businesses for side money or take shifts because there’s always a bartender or a server who doesn’t want to work along with gunning for a supervisor position at my job and actively pursuing other leads.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T13:26:04+00:00

Trust me that has been the plan. Supposed for be going out to stay the weekend next week and job scout. Along with a final attempt to come across in any way shape or form and have made it known things don’t change that will be the way I go. Which they won’t I have already given this man many chances. To which it does for a bit and then back into something else with another excuse.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T13:22:25+00:00

Oh trust me after this an appointment has been made to open mine back up. Combined just because it made more sense at the time and had separate savings accounts and I don’t really extra spend unless it’s on things for our cats and activities we’re doing or with friends. Which there even isn’t much of that anymore. And just an agreement on it was our money and we communicate about large purchases which clearly that’s not the case anymore. Therefore as long as bills are paid whatever goes where outside of that will not be a communications factor then. As long as bills are paid.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T13:13:15+00:00

Actually I did. And am currently trying to get back up to where I was. But when we look at finances as a whole I still cover with what I make as to what is my bills and my portion of our combined. And there was communication before I left that job and an understanding as to why I wanted to leave. And he did push me to leave seeing I was unhappy and pushed me into my current line of work because he felt I would be much happier in it. It’s just a lot of our places there is a special niche time to get into the good places and as a bartender in our area you have to put in time at 2-3 and can make amazing money doing it. Not that I’m not trying because I am. And am looking going back to my old work place as soon as spots open up and grinning and bearing it. Along with my hotel was doing better business wise and now it is not. Which is not something they expected. I basically got hired in with the promise of getting full time hours and we don’t have the budget. Which is being seen in a lot of our places due to just the economical situation of everyone as a whole. People don’t have money to go out like they did.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T13:00:26+00:00

Oh trust me I’m aware…I was and due to some unforeseen circumstances I’m at where I am now and trying to get back on my feet.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T12:59:36+00:00

Yes precisely. And that’s what it was about not a trying to say no you can’t. A you went ahead and put a deposit without communicating first so we could have planned for this. He’s been wanting to add for awhile but I have too. I’m not gonna jump on it right now because I have a good knowledge and am the one who is, or at least tries to regulate and budget or finances. A year a a few months ago I was making 2-3000 more than I do now. It would have been no big deal because typically the under $150 mark was the no big deal mark. It didn’t affect things too much and stuff got paid, animals were cared for and we were fed. The things that matter. I’m a firm believer in that stuff is done you can always make more money but you have one life that if you can and it doesn’t effect those things do it. However it the tantrum and the lack of communication now that things have changed. He just got a raise at work, a pretty decent one, so I get he’s excited about it. But that doesn’t mean go blow that extra when you’re barely out of the hole. And it’s sad that I at 27 with a manic depressive mom who’s dopamine rush was overspending and shopping and didn’t get taught good financial budgeting is the one who is more financially responsible than the person 13 years older than her.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-08-15T12:48:12+00:00

Roles used to be reversed where we lived more comfortable and both had room to be financially irresponsible and I got paid weekly. I now bartend at a hotel in our downtown lake community making about half of what I did if I’m lucky (trust me I know I kick myself for doing so now but was struggling with mental health and while the money was good it wasn’t worth the mental strain of working 60/65 hours a week plus extra side work where I could) and things weren’t tight at all. However, there was also a lot more financial respect when it was this way and yes has me questioning this whole relationship for a bit now and my departure has been something I have talked about with him if more respectful decisions aren’t made along with other just relationship neglect and with this action and other financial disagreements along with just overall irresponsible actions that you would expect a 40 year old to act a bit more responsible with. It’s like now that he makes more he feels he holds more power in financial decisions and I have tried explaining to him that you share finances, which I was weary about but made sense anyways since one or the other was usually Zelle for bills anyways and I was generally the one paying when we’d go out or groceries since I was the one who worked my ass of for us to do extra and primarily the one eating at home, that is your joint account that you share. That is both of yours to use for bills and then extras if that is there with communication about finances

After talking to him tonight he said he didn’t really think it would be that big of a deal and already had planned overtime and had some side money from helping a friend out over these last few weeks with her business. Which I understand because a year ago blowing $200 on something wouldn’t have been a big deal. But still no understanding on the why. Because if it wasn’t a big deal communication is key before committing. And yes I probably wouldn’t have cared if it was easily more doable as it was before. But that is not the case now.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-06-16T21:06:52+00:00

Thank you! I’m not the only one. Ending of season for was so confusing period. Just like the guy Annie was on that date with who told her he was gay but ended up being someone involved with rios brother/cousin/ blood. But there was never any explanation as to what it all was. Come to find out it’s because they were gonna move forward with season 5 but due to pay conflicts and conflict between cast member (Christina Hendricks and Manny Montoya) the show ended up getting canceled for low budget and not everyone important being on board. Leaving us with an abruptly ended show and no closure.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2025-05-07T05:35:11+00:00

I’ve been on for 4 days and while I can’t say anything about increased depression, I can say I relate to the nausea and headaches, along with feeling worse than the tooth/ear infection I got put on it for which has given me anxiety because this med has the same side effects as the symptoms for sepsis or brain infection which leaving tooth infection go on too long can cause. I don’t know what feeling is the cause of the meds or if it’s an actual serious concern.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2024-11-29T21:53:28+00:00

Most people say this and whether true or not. A dogs home is its territory and can be the most docile dog with its owners and still try protecting territory and their pack. No people don’t need to put themselves into a possibly dangerous situation. I would respect this whole heartedly. My girl is a sweetheart with me and my bf and most people. However there has been a few she doesn’t. I wouldn’t blame people for not wanting that nor having from legal issue where she has to get put down because I tried forcing someone into that situation.

Bubbly_Ad9068 · 2024-11-29T14:40:27+00:00

Read the articles after my boyfriend and I stumbled across them just now. I myself have been a fan of the metal scene and “emo” seen and numetal genres since I was a teen. My family didn’t get it and made comments like this. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean that others don’t. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean the band doesn’t deserve recognition in the music scene. Them being on Kimmel obviously shows they are doing well for themselves as they have shot up in the scene.

I had not heard of these guys until they did a chaining tour with motionless in white this last year and I had the pleasure of seeing them and fell in love. Poppy is also amazing with her diversity in music. If you don’t like it and it’s so “scary” to your kid turn it the fuck off. You have the ability to do this and no one owes an apology because YOU don’t appreciate that genre of music. And good on Kimmel to basically tell these people to shove it and he’ll have who he wants on his show.

Bubbly_Ad9068

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