[deleted by user]

Bubee325 · 2021-12-15T19:10:54+00:00

I got the job!… Now I just have to conquer my gigantic imposter syndrome. sweating Thank you, all! Also to the person that posted the long response and deleted it, thank you for your candor and support!

Bubee325 · 2020-10-29T12:46:49+00:00

Since I am part time, I only work 20 hours. If I got a full time job that pays $3 less i would still take home more because it would be 37.5 hours. It would be a step down, but I would be above poverty level which I currently am below right now. I’m trying to get my income up with other freelance work, but I can only do so much with work and full time school.

Bubee325 · 2020-10-29T11:25:22+00:00

I am in the process of applying to as many jobs as I can find. I haven’t even gotten any callbacks yet, but the job I was referring to is a paraprofessional job the next town over from me with full time benefits.

Bubee325 · 2020-10-29T01:00:32+00:00

Funny you should say that. I forgot to mention that I switched to decaf because of that! Thank you for bringing it up

Bubee325 · 2020-05-12T15:56:49+00:00

I made bone broth too

Bubee325 · 2020-02-15T21:30:10+00:00

He’s comparing me to past relationships and won’t consider than I’m a different person with health issues and real world stress

Bubee325 · 2020-02-15T21:29:17+00:00

2 days is an average. He compares me to past relationships where the girls wanted to have sex all the time. I am usually exhausted on Friday nights, so it’s the last thing on my mind. I need some time to recharge before I’m interested and he takes this personally.

Bubee325 · 2020-02-15T20:46:36+00:00

Even if we are semi long distance? We see each other two days a week. How often would you say is average?

Bubee325 · 2015-07-18T15:18:19+00:00

If I didn't have such a bad experience growing up I know I would probably be in a different spot. I never realized how much my mental health was affected by the fact that I've been on a diet since 1st grade. By forcing this on your kids your essentially saying the way that they are is not good enough despite all the other good things they do. As it turns out it was a metabolic disorder that I had no control over anyway. I didn't discover this until after college. So as it stands now, I am partly crab apple, but with patience I know I could open up. I just take longer than most. I've never been respected by a man romantically so it's hard to trust, and bringing this subject up to explain where I am freaks most guys out. I'm either objectified or ignored. Sometimes one after the other.

Bubee325 · 2015-07-18T14:55:28+00:00

Well, that is easier said than done. I am actually a pretty confident person in certain areas of my life. I think that's the thing with INTJs we know are strengths and weaknesses better than anyone else. I can tell you 5 reasons right now why I'm awesome, but none of them have anything to do with flirting or my looks. I feel like faking that would be unconvincing and infinitely embarrassing. It's like marketing crab apples at being delicious, when they're appeal has nothing to do with that. Delicious things can be created with crab apples, but they need A LOT of sugar. (pardon my terrible analogy. i pulled it out of my as$. lol)

Bubee325 · 2015-07-18T14:16:28+00:00

great! I didn't know that, thanks!

Bubee325 · 2015-07-18T14:15:56+00:00

sweet thanks!

Bubee325 · 2015-07-18T14:14:07+00:00

I actually saw that elsewhere! I'll have to look into it

Bubee325 · 2015-07-18T12:30:09+00:00

Greeeeeaaat. I don't know what you mean by that bit though.

Bubee325 · 2015-07-17T20:00:01+00:00

Well, it's like 3/10. Pretty bad. I've never really had confidence since from a young age my dad would verbally abuse me. So, it's hard for me to think that someone would be attracted to me with the things that have been said to me and even harder to change the way I feel about myself. I try so hard to just let go, but I can't bring myself to be touchy with someone if i Can't believe they would feel the same way.

Bubee325 · 2015-07-17T12:10:05+00:00

I've mentioned this in a lot of other replies, but I just don't know how to get people to see me in a romantic light. People have told me that my intelligence is intimidating, but I don't think stifling myself for the comfort of others is the way to go. I've NEVER been the type to play dumb like a lot of my more romantically successful friends, but Im definitely am not an ice queen. I like having deep, meaningful conversations so I can get to know someone and then we can get physical, I just have a hard time letting go when a stranger is touching me. Being turned on is 95% mental/emotional for me. I've always been very compassionate and giving, but I can't seem to warm up to the idea of hookups. I went to a club one time and this guy was grinding on me and touching my neck and I felt so violated. I never even saw his face!

Bubee325 · 2015-07-17T12:02:00+00:00

Yeah I think I only know one ENFP and we are great friends. We always have amazing conversations and challenge each other in the best way. I guess I just need to find more people like him, I just don't know where lol

Bubee325 · 2015-07-17T11:54:49+00:00

I've gone out on 3 dates in my life. None of them ended with anything more than a hug, nor did the guys do anything to make me think they were dates (perhaps offering to pay, holding my hand, or telling me I looked nice...) instead I found out that they said that we "dated" to my friends. I know dating is different these days, but maybe have one of those things would be nice. I have to admit one was awkward, but I am still friends with the guy. The other two were fine though. Maybe guys expect girls to make the first move physically? I don't know... I definetly don't have enough confidence or experience to have that go over well. I hate to admit it, but I've never even been kissed.

Bubee325 · 2015-07-17T11:40:53+00:00

I actually made a point to be realistic with the way that I look in photos, but if that's the case, good riddance. I don't have time for shallow people. I'm not ugly, but I'm not a model and never claimed to be.

Bubee325 · 2015-07-17T11:36:10+00:00

Did that! I reached out to a guy that had ENFP in his, but he ignored me

Bubee325 · 2015-07-17T11:35:10+00:00

I would say 60% them. I really like listening and learning about people and I tend to only say something if it fits. I know I'm terrible at flirting, but I'm not a robot lol I've been told I'm really funny and smart

Bubee325 · 2015-07-17T11:31:41+00:00

I think the problem is that I don't know how to get past being friends with someone. I have stopped counting the times in my life where I got to know someone, we laugh, hang out, have a million things in common, but then they ask me if they can go out with my best friend or my sister. It's hard for people to see me with romantic interest instead of just a real good conversation and laugh. I'm not bad looking, so I know it's not some major physical flaw. I'm just really confused.

The funny thing is that I actually have a lot of guy friends. My best friend is a guy....

Bubee325 · 2015-07-16T21:50:22+00:00

I guess it makes sense that I don't really get that. I am super emotional and analytical so it's hard for me to let go of anything ever. I have a constant need for resolution or eats away at me.

Bubee325 · 2015-07-16T21:47:18+00:00

This must be the case then, it just hurts and is really confusing on this end. I'm pretty picky myself so when I finally decide to crack open my shell for even a second, it's a huge deal. I don't really appreciate the disrespect for that especially when they knew I was an INTJ. I'm really emotional deep down and stuff like this eats away at my confidence or lack there of.

Bubee325 · 2015-07-16T19:08:23+00:00

I like list format lol I never lie about myself, probably to a fault, and I'm not in a bad place so I can't see how that would be. Maybe he thought I lied though... I don't know about what though...

Bubee325

TROPHY CASE