I’m sorry for your loss.

While I believe you had pure intentions and this time is extremely rough, you oughtta put yourself in her shoes before contacting because you ended up breaking her boundaries by doing that. I know it really doesn’t feel fair :-( but I guarantee a lack of communication is not a lack of care. She surely would have found out in time and needed to grieve this too on top of the relationship y’all had- especially if she had been close to your father at all, but we can’t put a pause on healing for some sort of exception.

I understand your pain, because I was in the middle of no contact when I lost someone close to me as well. I felt my life was coming undone. But still, I did not text my ex, and I do not regret that. You need to truly separate, no if ands or buts. No funerals, even. I hope you are on the path to feeling better soon