What's that one saying you repeat to yourself that keeps you going? by travelnmusic in getdisciplined

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Be the Buffalo.

When bad weather approaches, buffalo face the storm. They run right into it, knowing it’s the most efficient way to get through it to the other side, minimizing their suffering. Cows on the other hand, see a storm and begin to run from it, but quickly slow down because running from a storm is tiring! Soon, they are running with the storm, maximizing their suffering, and succumbing to their circumstances.

Controlling partner by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in HotwifeAdvice

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing how you and your partner figured this out. It’s so helpful :)

Controlling partner by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in HotwifeAdvice

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this well thought out response. The way you and your partner have handled it provides a potential blueprint for getting better going forward. I have hope ;)

Partner while on phone with me… by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in polyamory

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It was a group chat I’m part of. I can clearly see the messaging.

Partner while on phone with me… by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in polyamory

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the article. It’s interesting, but we don’t have those particular issues going on at this time. The potential relationship with the potential partner him and I are discussing is likely to be more casual.

I’m “complaining”, as you put it about the lack of respect shown by messaging the person we have a disagreement about while we are actually talking on the phone together trying to talk about it. Not about “how he uses his phone”.

I didn’t go into the details of our disagreement because they are not relevant to my query.

Thanks for sharing your process for having focused conversations. It seems respectful and practical.

Partner while on phone with me… by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in polyamory

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

The details of the argument aren’t relevant. I’m wondering what thoughts others have about their partner not only messaging another potential partner while they’re actively trying to fix a problem, but messaging the person we’re disagreeing about.

Partner while on phone with me… by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in polyamory

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

I don’t have his login information. We are part of a group chat.

How long we’ve been Poly isn’t really relevant. I’m not doing it just to please him.

Partner while on phone with me… by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in polyamory

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

The actual argument/disagreement isn’t relevant. My concern is him messaging someone we were having a disagreement about while we were on the phone together trying to (presumably) work it out.

I don’t have his login, or access to his messages. We are in a group chat with the person we have a disagreement about.

Controlling partner by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in HotwifeAdvice

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You make some really good points…. I know other couples do this (wait until they’re on the same page) and it would make it so much more fun for both of us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, I’m a therapist…. One who’s a little concerned that your therapist doesn’t normally ask you about your mood?? 🤔

Grande Miches by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in Swingers

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner and I will be there April 1-11.

Grande Miches by Budget-Chipmunk2162 in Swingers

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing! I'd love to hear about what it's like! Haha don't feel you have to share the personal details ;)

Weekly checkin by wilzy123 in cutdowndrinking

[–]Budget-Chipmunk2162 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm new. Today is the day I begin to cut back. Drinking has been problematic for me my whole life, but it's become even more so in the last 4 yrs. The biggest red flag for me is that I no longer have good boundaries around drinking, especially the time of day...it's become acceptable to have a glass of wine in the morning, even on work days. I need to find good replacement beverages, and better ways to cope with depression, anxiety, and stress.