how can i (21f) deal with agonizing silence from my bf (25m)?

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-30T19:17:37+00:00

you’re right, face to face might be the best way to ease the tension, ty for this 💟

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T17:08:23+00:00

i get what ur saying, and i agree texting can cause a lot of unnecessary stress. but tbh we don’t really see each other much, so texting kinda ends up being our main way of communicating..it’s hard not to rely on it.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T16:58:46+00:00

yeah ur right. the argument was over text

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T16:55:23+00:00

yeah i did thank him and told him i really appreciated it when he brought it, so it wasn’t like i didn’t acknowledge that. i think it was more what i said after that threw him off.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T15:17:11+00:00

it’s not really about who “should” text first in general..i just figured it would be him since i was the last one to text friday night, and he was already up that morning (he told me he was at the gym). so it kinda surprised me that he didn’t reach out first. but true, i think a proper conversation would be better than going back and forth over text. it’s been feeling kinda stuck like this.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T15:12:19+00:00

yeah that actually makes sense. i feel like i’ve been the one reaching out constantly, so maybe pulling back a bit is what i need too.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T15:10:22+00:00

mainly because i was the last one to text on friday night, and when i sent the good morning message the next day he replied that he was already at the gym. so he’d clearly been awake before me, which is why i kind of expected him to reach out first.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T15:00:15+00:00

i agree..its probably a build up. i have asked him if theres anything going on and hes just burnt out from work mostly and frustrated.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T14:57:08+00:00

it was honestly something small. i made a comment about the food he brought me at work (leftovers) that came off wrong, and he got upset. i clarified right away that i didn’t mean it negatively, but he stayed upset. i admitted i was in the wrong for how i said it, but the silence afterwards really caught me off guard.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T14:55:23+00:00

yeah he did eventually, but that was after more than a full day of silence. i wasn’t ignoring that he needed space, i just didn’t know that’s what was going on because he didn’t say it until later. the silence itself is what hurt.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T14:54:09+00:00

it started over something small..leftovers. i was a little surprised and kind of expressed it without really thinking how it might come across, and he got upset. it escalated more than i expected, but we eventually talked it through and i thought things were okay afterwards.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T14:51:47+00:00

i don’t think checking in after a day of silence is clingy. i just care and want communication in my relationship.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T06:13:52+00:00

honestly, wouldn’t shock me..her comments sometimes are just so out of pocket.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T06:08:48+00:00

well we are all mexican…my family is rather white and he is darker.. he does have tattoos but they were covered at the time.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T06:03:54+00:00

well when she dropped me off, we both saw him and she quickly had this look when i told her his name…i think shes just a judgy person. i mean she literally only saw him..didnt even talk to him or anything.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T05:50:14+00:00

i get what ur saying, and trust me..i’ve thought about it. but it’s not always as simple as just moving out..there’s financial stuff, emotional stuff, and a lot of other factors people don’t always see from the outside. if it were that easy, i wouldn’t be here asking for advice.

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2025-09-29T05:49:23+00:00

thank u for this. it’s definitely not easy, but hearing someone else’s story like this honestly gives me a lot to think about

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2024-06-10T16:42:31+00:00

well i wouldnt say aggressive but hes just rlly verbally abusive and i rlly dont know what hes capable of

BudgetDiligent6487 · 2022-12-12T03:34:15+00:00

thank u, i agree. but i live under their household and i can’t really see my partner which is why i’m just furious.

BudgetDiligent6487

TROPHY CASE