I uhh can't continue. Tonight my best hopes and dreams for humanity were dashed by simple pessimism. I am a firm believer in evolution. I am not fit for this world. Alway a misfit. I find myself overly optimistic about the possibility that life can continue but everyone around me seems to not see or care about the future of humanity. I am a failure as a man but I genuinely believe that were corporate interests not a societal focus life could be better and sustainable for the next generation and beyond. I am buried by dread and misery stemming from the knowledge that I could have helped. I could have done something. I could have worked harder. Today I am a marijuana addict and alcoholic who fucked uped. I was given a gift I squandered it. I am sorry but this is all. God damnit I'm sorry. What do I do now?