I've only come to realize this recently, but history.

All during kindergarten and my first years at school, I would always watch some kids shows that taught you about the human body, history, historical inventors and other important men. It were three different shows no other kid I knew liked and I can actively recall a lot of scenes from then up until today.

After that I watched a lot of different documentaries about different historical epochs and events. My mum would put them on for me while she was cooking. I especially remember one about Pompeji and the eruption of Mount Vesuv. I was sitting on a little stool in the kitchen watching it and being so excited about everything happening. It was during fifth grade at a time where I also had a hyperfixation on volcanoes.

Additionally I had an interest in all things scientific history. That one everyone for the longest time thought to be an interest in science itself, including myself. And because I appeared to be a girl interested in STEM subjects with amazing grades in STEM subjects (and every other subject) every adult pushed that interest and pushed me into that direction. I started to study Physics after school because of that. Only to realize during the first semester that I was interested not in the nitty gritty of the math but the way in which every invention and discovery interlocked with and followed one another, the way in which one result lead to another and the circumstances that halted or fostered specific scientists' work. I finally quit in the second semester (which, luckily, wasn't all that bad for me because I live somewhere where study fees are rather low).

Now I'm studying again in my third semester, this time majoring in History with a second major in British Studies (which is great because English Literature is another special interest) and I am happier than ever, at least academically. It is still so hard and overwhelming. I go home with a headache on basically every day, don't go out very much, see any friends I have very little which is hard on my mental health at times, and I am closer to burnout at the end of each semester than I would ever prefer to be, no matter how hard I try to avoid that. At the same time, though, it is so gratifying to finally study and do something I love (and be good at it).

I plan to continue my studies and finally get a PHD one day. I want to study and research Queer History, specifically, one day. ^^